Should I bring her home? ( Archived) (41)

Visit her as often as possible, that seems to be the best you can do. Times have changed. You need help with her at home anyway.

Be good to yourself Robert - if you need a smack to get out of your hysterics just let me know - I'm famous here for doing that.

Jokes aside you have a life to live also. Best wishes.

I am not sure what kind of condition your mother is in, but after taking care of her for 5+ years it can't be that good. By putting her in a nursing home you are not abandoning her. You are simply giving her the medical attention she requires 24 hours a day. I am sure you visit her as often as you can. You should not feel guilty. You do have your own life to live and I'm sure your mother wants you to live it.

Growing up my brother and I always told my parents, we would never put them in a home. My folks were always grateful and told us they didn't want to be put in a home.

My grandmother (Mothers side) suffers from dementia. She would stay with my parents Monday - Sunday and every other weekend with my Aunt (Mothers side). She was at my Aunts house when she had her second stroke. After the stroke she had trouble walking and her memory became worse. My parents started looking after her full time, because my Aunt didn't want the responsibility to look after her every other weekend. Between my folks, my brother and I. We took allot of time off from work to look after her, to keep her out of a nursing home. We did this for about 3 years. She started to become incontinent and eventually fell late one night and broke a vertebra in her L-spine.

My parents made a decision to put her in a nursing home, where she would be looked after 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I was very angry with my parents at first, because we always said we would never put anyone in a nursing home, and would take care of them!

I had a heart to heart discussion with mom about the way I felt. She told me she feared for grandma’s life because they could not watch her 24/7.
I said to her " My brother and I always said "We would never put you guys in a nursing home! And your putting your own mother their!"

She then told me " I was wrong, If dad and I can't take care of ourselves. I want you and your brother to do so, and live your lives."

Sorry to write a book Robert, You should not feel guilty. Live your life.

I totally agree here, visit her and check up on her care.

only you can make that decision Robert ..hope what ever you decided works in your favour tc x

Well Robert, it looks like you have a consensus here. Where I live, nursing homes are not terrible places. Many of them are actually pretty loving towards their residents. I hope it is the same where you are.

She's one of two people who's brought you into this world;
how could you not care for her,even in her state of health?
Yet,I can understand where you're coming from as I cared for
the elderly in a past job;it was so very hard to deal with them,
in their state of health.I was a caretaker and,at times it felt
like I was living with these frail and sickly people.It got so bad that I had to resign from my job;it was mentally and physically demanding of me.So,I know what you're going through.
Hope things work out for you.

Support her with love by bringing her at tome. parents are very important brcause they gave us our life. Its hard I know, but. its a moral responsaibility, I would say that..