Opening your heart (51)
online today!online today!nanners2863Cayuga, Ontario Canada38 Threads 3,355 Postskidatheart: Too late, it's already permanently etched into the deep recesses of my mind.
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mine naturally opens right away
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kidatheart: Hi Sweet I do
You seem sweet Kid
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In response to: Do you do it right away? Do you wait? Does it just happen naturally?
Feel free to discuss the pros/cons here.
I need to go workout at the gym, so I'll be back to discuss if a discussion takes place.
/I heart'd you
Feel free to discuss the pros/cons here.
I need to go workout at the gym, so I'll be back to discuss if a discussion takes place.
/I heart'd you
Hi Stressfree..um..sorry for puttin a snag in your forum..will quietly slink away and head to the gym. Will come back when I'm thinkin clearer lol!!------ This thread is Archived ------
sweetlyscented1: John,
thats a nice way to be.....go in all guns ablaze and usually go out the same way
More careful these days though
thats a nice way to be.....go in all guns ablaze and usually go out the same way
More careful these days though
Dead right Sweet and especialy on here ! I went in with all guns though the person didnt get it at the time. and like you said go for it as soon as there is a spark to avoid suspision
I should of done, instead of questioning it
I doubted and shouldnt of done but I am not going to give up.... the spark has been there for both parties 
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todger: Dead right Sweet and especialy on here ! I went in with all guns though the person didnt get it at the time. and like you said go for it as soon as there is a spark to avoid suspision
I should of done, instead of questioning it I doubted and shouldnt of done but I am not going to give up.... the spark has been there for both parties
I should of done, instead of questioning it I doubted and shouldnt of done but I am not going to give up.... the spark has been there for both parties
Well Todger,
If you think its worth fighting for....then I say give it your all....
put your feelings out on the table and if he loves you enough, he will realise, that on here it can be hard to trust and maybe you two should meet as soon as possible..
Net dating is NOT easy... the more prolonged it is the worse it can be.
Good luck sweetie
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If I connect to the person I'm an open book
I fall easily
I fall easily
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I've reflected about this and I'll share what I've observed and experienced---and my approach since I started the thread and have not said much.
First of all, I've noticed a huge difference (generally speaking) between America and Sweden when it comes to opening up your heart.
Americans are a lot more daring and willing to reveal themselves and open their heart up from the beginning. The difference is night and day. Furthermore, I've noticed a distinct difference between southern Europeans and Swedes concerning this matter. Swedes are really apprehensive in opening their hearts up right away in new relationships and it is something I've had to adjust to---not to say that they are all like this. I just find this interesting and just culture.
Also, I am very well aware of the fact that not all Americans open up right away and just put everything on the table right away.
Moving on, my approach is to open up as much as possible within the boundaries that I am able to maneuver with. I have realized that there are limits in how much you open up with a new partner. It really depends how accessible your new partner is. The truth is, some people just don't want too much too soon, and that is how it is and I can respect that. Go with the flow is my way of life. Patience is indeed a virtue and forcing things with somebody who has a slow hand can backfire. I've experienced that.
On the other hand, if I do find myself with a woman who is very accessible on all fronts and wants my universe in her pocket in a New York minute, then I'm all cool with that. Go with the flow! I have nothing to hide and I have nothing to lose by giving every drop of my soul if it is welcomed in the beginning. I have to say, the initial rush when this happens is one of the most wonderful things I have ever experienced in life.
We are all different and we all have the power of choice to decide what we can work with and what we can't. Sure, some people adhere to a certain approach no matter what and allow the cards to fall as they may. There is nothing wrong with that, it's your life. Others may adjust in their approaches of opening their heart and there is nothing wrong with that at all. We are who we are and the more we have love and harmony within, the easier anything is to manage.
Life is really short, some of you have realized this and to those of you who are younger will find this out. Make the best of it and don't cheat yourself. Come as you are and avoid putting yourself in a position of regret. Love is slippery and love is everything. Open your heart when the wind is right
First of all, I've noticed a huge difference (generally speaking) between America and Sweden when it comes to opening up your heart.
Americans are a lot more daring and willing to reveal themselves and open their heart up from the beginning. The difference is night and day. Furthermore, I've noticed a distinct difference between southern Europeans and Swedes concerning this matter. Swedes are really apprehensive in opening their hearts up right away in new relationships and it is something I've had to adjust to---not to say that they are all like this. I just find this interesting and just culture.
Also, I am very well aware of the fact that not all Americans open up right away and just put everything on the table right away.
Moving on, my approach is to open up as much as possible within the boundaries that I am able to maneuver with. I have realized that there are limits in how much you open up with a new partner. It really depends how accessible your new partner is. The truth is, some people just don't want too much too soon, and that is how it is and I can respect that. Go with the flow is my way of life. Patience is indeed a virtue and forcing things with somebody who has a slow hand can backfire. I've experienced that.
On the other hand, if I do find myself with a woman who is very accessible on all fronts and wants my universe in her pocket in a New York minute, then I'm all cool with that. Go with the flow! I have nothing to hide and I have nothing to lose by giving every drop of my soul if it is welcomed in the beginning. I have to say, the initial rush when this happens is one of the most wonderful things I have ever experienced in life.
We are all different and we all have the power of choice to decide what we can work with and what we can't. Sure, some people adhere to a certain approach no matter what and allow the cards to fall as they may. There is nothing wrong with that, it's your life. Others may adjust in their approaches of opening their heart and there is nothing wrong with that at all. We are who we are and the more we have love and harmony within, the easier anything is to manage.
Life is really short, some of you have realized this and to those of you who are younger will find this out. Make the best of it and don't cheat yourself. Come as you are and avoid putting yourself in a position of regret. Love is slippery and love is everything. Open your heart when the wind is right
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StressFree:
Do you do it right away? No. I certainly don't open up to people straight away on a heart level. The realms of the heart are sacred for me.
Do you wait? Yes I wait.....for acceptance, on a level that probably only I would recognise.
Does it just happen naturally? When I let it happen, it flows naturally.......but only when I take the restrictions off.
/I heart'd you
Do you do it right away? No. I certainly don't open up to people straight away on a heart level. The realms of the heart are sacred for me.
Do you wait? Yes I wait.....for acceptance, on a level that probably only I would recognise.
Does it just happen naturally? When I let it happen, it flows naturally.......but only when I take the restrictions off.
/I heart'd you
This is probably the opposite to everyone else on here, but it is how I am. When my heart is open, then people get to know "me".
This, for me, falls within the realms of intimacy, and intimacy is not something that I share with everyone, or anyone, or people I am not sure about on a relationship level.
It is a part of me that I share only with someone I trust implicitly to cherish that gift, and would hope that that sentiment would work both ways.
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GingerBe: This is probably the opposite to everyone else on here, but it is how I am. When my heart is open, then people get to know "me".
This, for me, falls within the realms of intimacy, and intimacy is not something that I share with everyone, or anyone, or people I am not sure about on a relationship level.
It is a part of me that I share only with someone I trust implicitly to cherish that gift, and would hope that that sentiment would work both ways.
This, for me, falls within the realms of intimacy, and intimacy is not something that I share with everyone, or anyone, or people I am not sure about on a relationship level.
It is a part of me that I share only with someone I trust implicitly to cherish that gift, and would hope that that sentiment would work both ways.
You are who you are Ginger. Don't change a thing. Trust and intimacy is sacred and some of us require this to unfold over time---time is always a good judge. When you find somebody to value and respect this attribute in you, then only happiness can manifest.
I'm on the other side, time don't wait for nothing
Though I have exercised a lot of patience in the past and will more than likely do so if I find myself in that situation again---if I deem it beyond worthy
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StressFree: You are who you are Ginger. Don't change a thing. Trust and intimacy is sacred and some of us require this to unfold over time---time is always a good judge. When you find somebody to value and respect this attribute in you, then only happiness can manifest. I'm on the other side, time don't wait for nothing Though I have exercised a lot of patience in the past and will more than likely do so if I find myself in that situation again---if I deem it beyond worthy
I guess it is down to the lessons that life teaches us.
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GingerBe: I guess it is down to the lessons that life teaches us.
That's life. The key is learning those lessons and maturing along with raising our awareness.
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I'm one of those that when there is a mutual connection...chemistry, throw myself in heart and soul... for about 6 to 8 weeks.
Then my brain re engages... and I start to pull back.
Then my brain re engages... and I start to pull back.
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jbibiza: I'm one of those that when there is a mutual connection...chemistry, throw myself in heart and soul... for about 6 to 8 weeks.
Then my brain re engages... and I start to pull back.
Then my brain re engages... and I start to pull back.
I used to do that years ago. Just stopped jumping in eventually.
I think it comes down to not trusting that feeling to last maybe, (the pulling back bit)......
Maybe if we are too happy, we find excuses to bring us back to earth because we believe it couldn't last, or we are preparing ourselves for those feelings ending, or fizzling out, and in doing so, we bring about the very thing we didn't want, by withdrawing.......
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No, for me it's just that reality rears it's ugly head... and it's time to start looking at the relationship and discovering if there is anything to base long term on. Who can think sensibly when you're in the thralls of passion?
I think this is the point in a relationship that confuses or hurts people. So often we hear people say "what happened?, it was going so well"
I think this is the point in a relationship that confuses or hurts people. So often we hear people say "what happened?, it was going so well"
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jbibiza: No, for me it's just that reality rears it's ugly head... and it's time to start looking at the relationship and discovering if there is anything to base long term on. Who can think sensibly when you're in the thralls of passion?
I think this is the point in a relationship that confuses or hurts people. So often we hear people say "what happened?, it was going so well"
I think this is the point in a relationship that confuses or hurts people. So often we hear people say "what happened?, it was going so well"
That's what happened!
Often there comes a point in a relationship(generally speaking)when somebody jumps out of the present state of things going so well and begins thinking about the future. For some, only lovely thoughts come about, but for others it's the opposite when visions of the long term confuses things and paints a dreary picture.
Now bear in mind that this is all taking place in one's mind. Whatever built up fears or negative situations are occurring in the mind of this individual, none of it has even taken place in reality---just in the illusory mind based on fear. So this is when doubt creeps in and then those all night and dramatic conversations ensues.
It's normal, and if the matter can be resolved then that is the ideal thing. However, if the doubt cannot be taken away, then disaster awaits.
I try to go with the flow and stick with the now and just appreciate what I have and not get caught up into negative things that I think may happen---since they have not happened. A positive outlook gives better probabilities of things working out when things are going fine. Creating something from nothing is nothing new, and people should be aware of this when in a lovely relationship. Less is more...
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StressFree: That's what happened!
Often there comes a point in a relationship(generally speaking)when somebody jumps out of the present state of things going so well and begins thinking about the future. For some, only lovely thoughts come about, but for others it's the opposite when visions of the long term confuses things and paints a dreary picture.
Now bear in mind that this is all taking place in one's mind. Whatever built up fears or negative situations are occurring in the mind of this individual, none of it has even taken place in reality---just in the illusory mind based on fear. So this is when doubt creeps in and then those all night and dramatic conversations ensues.
It's normal, and if the matter can be resolved then that is the ideal thing. However, if the doubt cannot be taken away, then disaster awaits.
I try to go with the flow and stick with the now and just appreciate what I have and not get caught up into negative things that I think may happen---since they have not happened. A positive outlook gives better probabilities of things working out when things are going fine. Creating something from nothing is nothing new, and people should be aware of this when in a lovely relationship. Less is more...
Often there comes a point in a relationship(generally speaking)when somebody jumps out of the present state of things going so well and begins thinking about the future. For some, only lovely thoughts come about, but for others it's the opposite when visions of the long term confuses things and paints a dreary picture.
Now bear in mind that this is all taking place in one's mind. Whatever built up fears or negative situations are occurring in the mind of this individual, none of it has even taken place in reality---just in the illusory mind based on fear. So this is when doubt creeps in and then those all night and dramatic conversations ensues.
It's normal, and if the matter can be resolved then that is the ideal thing. However, if the doubt cannot be taken away, then disaster awaits.
I try to go with the flow and stick with the now and just appreciate what I have and not get caught up into negative things that I think may happen---since they have not happened. A positive outlook gives better probabilities of things working out when things are going fine. Creating something from nothing is nothing new, and people should be aware of this when in a lovely relationship. Less is more...
well said Dr T, is your couch free ?
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StressFree: Do you do it right away? Do you wait? Does it just happen naturally?
Feel free to discuss the pros/cons here.
I need to go workout at the gym, so I'll be back to discuss if a discussion takes place.
/I heart'd you
Feel free to discuss the pros/cons here.
I need to go workout at the gym, so I'll be back to discuss if a discussion takes place.
/I heart'd you
do what ? Run out for milk? I do it right away if company is waiting - otherwise, I wait until I can combine errands
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For some maybe it's about fear, ot things that may or may not happen. I don't think that way. For me, it's that I start looking at the other person in a realistic light...at their character, their traits, goals and hopes. If these are areas that we're not compatable in or if their is something in his nature that I've been overlooking due to rosy glasses...then this is the stage where I say, hold on a minute...this is going nowhere in the future...how long am I willing to spend in the throws of passion? my answer...about 6 to 8 weeks, sometimes 12
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felixis99: ya, I think he was talking about opening your heart. Very seldom do I do that right away - ever.
Unfortunately just burned too many times
Ya..I kicked my heart to the curb..got tired of it running all willynilly all over Canada just givin itself away to any guy with a great smile and a good line! I replaced it with skepticism!!Unfortunately just burned too many times
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