All what counts is that chemistry.. (42)
solsticemoon: Rubbish..........chemistry is about instant attraction , eye contact and the immediate feeling of wanting to get down and dirty with someone..I can "communicate" with the damn postman..doesnt mean I feel that sizzling feeling!
I don't know about the first 5 minutes - she could be faffing round trying to find her mobile in her handbag, texting her mate to say I haven't got 2 heads, working out how to put it into silent giving a choice of wines and alternatives going to the loo to adjust her lippy, deciding which table to sit at etc etc etc.
But somewhere in the first half hour or so - yup.
An ex colleague of mine summed it up when she said "No minge twinge, no date two". And you can't get any of that chemistry in cyber space, by phone or email etc.
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claudya: So,I realized all what counts is that chemistry between 2 persons when they meet face to face,to feel something to be attracted by each other and communication,is so easy in internet and to the phone to say I like u ,I love u,and all is ok but in real is so hard ,and if is not that chemistry and not attraction,you remain with a feeling by dissapointing ,specially when in real you discover is other personality.So what do u think about those meetings in real after chatting in net and speaking to phone?Is same like in net?
was my first time...and yes..I feel the chemistry...and the love(my love)yes 's truth...and who knows, what's happening in the other side...
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They should be used as a tool to meet people, get to know them, become friends and then meet or take it further after this.
Should always step back with a reality check. It is very easy to become attached over the net and feel a sense of love but it is infatuation and slight fantasy. You can be in love with someones words and ideas but I dont think you can ever be in love with someone till you meet them.
That is when you meet and you either get a sledge hammer in your stomach and the air leaves the room and you feel your on a rollercoaster or you dont.
It is also about handling rejection. People meet and their is eitehr spark for both or there isnt. Also the worst thing you should ever do is blame yourself. To be blunt it isnt about you if you like them and they dont like you and its not even their fault its just the "spark".
The only downside to the spark though is sometimes it can take longer and how many of us know friends what had zero intrest in anything more then woke up one morning and reliased they where in love.
I think that is the only negative thing about dating. You meet people that want everything now. I do think some people expect love at first sight or they wont settle. I do think certain things take time and I think sometimes people do need to just meet as friends if there is attraction but no spark and see what happens. Worst is you become good friends. If you dont fancy them tho on first date then forget it best to tell them straight and use the friend line.
I have plenty of married friends that didnt have a instant spark but attraction and it grew over time.
We all work differently though I guess.
Should always step back with a reality check. It is very easy to become attached over the net and feel a sense of love but it is infatuation and slight fantasy. You can be in love with someones words and ideas but I dont think you can ever be in love with someone till you meet them.
That is when you meet and you either get a sledge hammer in your stomach and the air leaves the room and you feel your on a rollercoaster or you dont.
It is also about handling rejection. People meet and their is eitehr spark for both or there isnt. Also the worst thing you should ever do is blame yourself. To be blunt it isnt about you if you like them and they dont like you and its not even their fault its just the "spark".
The only downside to the spark though is sometimes it can take longer and how many of us know friends what had zero intrest in anything more then woke up one morning and reliased they where in love.
I think that is the only negative thing about dating. You meet people that want everything now. I do think some people expect love at first sight or they wont settle. I do think certain things take time and I think sometimes people do need to just meet as friends if there is attraction but no spark and see what happens. Worst is you become good friends. If you dont fancy them tho on first date then forget it best to tell them straight and use the friend line.
I have plenty of married friends that didnt have a instant spark but attraction and it grew over time.
We all work differently though I guess.
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never experienced meeting up with phone pals, mail pals, or chat pals. somehow can't get too involved that way. 
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To add to what I was saying...
For me I like to talk. I can talk as much in real life as I can on the internet and show emotions. Never been scared to tell someone they look amazing in real life.
The problem is you can be sat in a bar/pub and you see someone and go wow then of course either be shy or go talk to them and you can feel that chemistry or not very very quickly.
Net dating you dont have that so you really have to remember to keep yourself in check.
Saying that Ive had friends fall in love over ICQ and MSN etc.. (one even went to USA random chat ICQ married her and brought her back to UK) and I think if you chat via camera it does alter things. That is why I refuse to chat to someone properly unless they have a camera. Words are great but I want to see them smile and how there eyes light up and so on.
For me I like to talk. I can talk as much in real life as I can on the internet and show emotions. Never been scared to tell someone they look amazing in real life.
The problem is you can be sat in a bar/pub and you see someone and go wow then of course either be shy or go talk to them and you can feel that chemistry or not very very quickly.
Net dating you dont have that so you really have to remember to keep yourself in check.
Saying that Ive had friends fall in love over ICQ and MSN etc.. (one even went to USA random chat ICQ married her and brought her back to UK) and I think if you chat via camera it does alter things. That is why I refuse to chat to someone properly unless they have a camera. Words are great but I want to see them smile and how there eyes light up and so on.
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Ive said this many times and I will say it again...You cant "fall in love" over the internet. Chemistry happens face to face...until then its all an illusion. 
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Agreed.
There have been many times I had great conversation with a guy online and then when we meet NADA...
I think it is something about the energy between two people and the way it is exchanged. Or maybe the smell? I don't know but usually I find there's absolutely nothing there.
I wish I was better at meeting people in person. I was just thinking about this on my way to work this morning. I think really it's just a numbers game, the more you meet the more likely you are to meet one that has that chemistry. But then on the other hand the odds of both people feeing the same way is soooo slim it seems. I think most people just settle for someone they don't really have it for but can live with. I can't settle...
There have been many times I had great conversation with a guy online and then when we meet NADA...
I think it is something about the energy between two people and the way it is exchanged. Or maybe the smell? I don't know but usually I find there's absolutely nothing there.
I wish I was better at meeting people in person. I was just thinking about this on my way to work this morning. I think really it's just a numbers game, the more you meet the more likely you are to meet one that has that chemistry. But then on the other hand the odds of both people feeing the same way is soooo slim it seems. I think most people just settle for someone they don't really have it for but can live with. I can't settle...
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There used to be a cracking guy on this site who had written in his profile that chemistry is not necessarily instant, it gets strronger of time when you get to know that person more indepth.
Though I think in many cases the physical attraction is instant.
Though I think in many cases the physical attraction is instant.
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Veritaas: There used to be a cracking guy on this site who had written in his profile that chemistry is not necessarily instant, it gets strronger of time when you get to know that person more indepth.
Though I think in many cases the physical attraction is instant.
Though I think in many cases the physical attraction is instant.
I would agree with that. I do believe it gets stronger over time. But until you meet face to face, you have nothin but hopes and wishes. It freaks me out when Peeps claim to "be in love" before theve even met...are peeps really that dillusional.
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venusenvy: I would agree with that. I do believe it gets stronger over time. But until you meet face to face, you have nothin but hopes and wishes. It freaks me out when Peeps claim to "be in love" before theve even met...are peeps really that dillusional.
Exactly and even using a webcam or skypee, aint going to put the signature stamp on your relationship with someone unless you meet them face to face.
Alot are clutching at the straws of hope I find at times here, convincing and making themselves believe they are in love.
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Veritaas: Exactly and even using a webcam or skypee, aint going to put the signature stamp on your relationship with someone unless you meet them face to face.
Alot are clutching at the straws of hope I find at times here, convincing and making themselves believe they are in love.
Don't burst my bubble(s) Alot are clutching at the straws of hope I find at times here, convincing and making themselves believe they are in love.
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No its def. not the same as meeting some one in real life... but the truth is also... we have a lot of tools via the internet at our disposal... and Skype cam and msn are grand tools to get to know someone over a long period of time...
Today, I am proud to say, is a one year anniversary for me... I met a 'friend ' here a year ago...my very first CSer friend and thru out these past 12 months I have chatted to him on a regular basis..
I did go and meet him.. We got along just fine..
We will probably be friends for a very long time
Not more than a week goes by that we dont talk.
I am so pleased that when we now talk.. we can say stuff like..
" Hey you know me... I am ... "
I like that I can say ... " Hey, this is me your talking to..." and "Remember when... ah no, you told me that... Yes I remember.. and yes, your garden is looking better "
and that type of stuff...
Do I love him... probably.. for the friend he has become.. but thats it...!!!
Today, I am proud to say, is a one year anniversary for me... I met a 'friend ' here a year ago...my very first CSer friend and thru out these past 12 months I have chatted to him on a regular basis..
I did go and meet him.. We got along just fine..
We will probably be friends for a very long time
Not more than a week goes by that we dont talk.
I am so pleased that when we now talk.. we can say stuff like..
" Hey you know me... I am ... "
I like that I can say ... " Hey, this is me your talking to..." and "Remember when... ah no, you told me that... Yes I remember.. and yes, your garden is looking better "
and that type of stuff...
Do I love him... probably.. for the friend he has become.. but thats it...!!!
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Been on a few dates with this guy and instant chemistry. Not just an attraction but sense of humour and our ethics (yes I do have ethics..geesh) It actually scares the crap out of me how well we mesh.
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nanners2863: Been on a few dates with this guy and instant chemistry. Not just an attraction but sense of humour and our ethics (yes I do have ethics..geesh) It actually scares the crap out of me how well we mesh.
Hey that grand news.... Good luck..
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Merriweather: Hey that grand news.... Good luck..
Thanks love!------ This thread is Archived ------
nanners2863: Been on a few dates with this guy and instant chemistry. Not just an attraction but sense of humour and our ethics (yes I do have ethics..geesh) It actually scares the crap out of me how well we mesh.
oh nanners I can soooooo relate to the "scares the crap out of me feeling" ... I will say however, embracing the same page feeling and letting it take it's natural course is awesome and very real
have a brilliant time with it hun and wish you gr8 happiness 
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mariespoodles: oh nanners I can soooooo relate to the "scares the crap out of me feeling" ... I will say however, embracing the same page feeling and letting it take it's natural course is awesome and very real
have a brilliant time with it hun and wish you gr8 happiness
Lol...thanx sweetie. I will try and roll with it. have a brilliant time with it hun and wish you gr8 happiness
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nanners2863: Been on a few dates with this guy and instant chemistry. Not just an attraction but sense of humour and our ethics (yes I do have ethics..geesh) It actually scares the crap out of me how well we mesh.
It would scare me too
if it ever happened
lolhope it works for you luv!!
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Having info about that person will give me an idea of who he is but to decide to have a ROMANCE with him depends mostly on the first meeting and to see IF there is click or not.
I agree - in fact the rest is all a waste if the chemistry is not there - in terms of a romantic relationship
everyone else gets the friend zone - not a bad place to be, granted. But also not going to fulfill my need fro intimacy.
If the chemistry isn't there it's not gonna happen - so figuring out other compatability issues is secondary to the chemistry being there, for me anyway.