How much do you want to know... (137)
Laura25: In your new relationship,
are you willing and/or find appropriate discussing your previous lover with your current SO?
Do you want to know if they were better lovers?
I'd imagine many in a new relationship ponder this question...
But would you ask?
And would you tell the truth if you are asked?
are you willing and/or find appropriate discussing your previous lover with your current SO?
Do you want to know if they were better lovers?
I'd imagine many in a new relationship ponder this question...
But would you ask?
And would you tell the truth if you are asked?
Whatever,I'm good enough..good enough for me.
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forget the past talk about future or present...leave past where it is 
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Laura25: I figured...
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kcuc0574: For me once i hv started the new relationship, that mean i hv forgotten my ex lover completely, then i feel very bored to talk about him to anyone, although in my mind i always consider him as one of my very good friends, i will willingly help him if he need my help, then if the current lover ask me about ex lover, i will hv nothing to tell ... i will say nothing, there is nothing to remember or to tell.
But for my new lover, in my thingking i am really concerned about his ex-lover, i will choose many suitable chances to ask him about his past life, then i can understand him more, i will understand to some extent what he will think of me ....
It is very complicated to discuss about this.
Bye Bye,
But for my new lover, in my thingking i am really concerned about his ex-lover, i will choose many suitable chances to ask him about his past life, then i can understand him more, i will understand to some extent what he will think of me ....
It is very complicated to discuss about this.
Bye Bye,
Thank you for your input, Kcuc!
Always a pleasure...
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My ex never did ask about my past relationships
until I asked about his.Big mistake!!I then
started feeling like I had to live up to his ex;
don't know why that is,I just felt like I had to
know.And he asked things like did my past lover please
me in ways that my then bf did.Awkward,very awkward
so,I'll never go there again,just too much of
a headache,one that I wouldn't want to relive.
until I asked about his.Big mistake!!I then
started feeling like I had to live up to his ex;
don't know why that is,I just felt like I had to
know.And he asked things like did my past lover please
me in ways that my then bf did.Awkward,very awkward
so,I'll never go there again,just too much of
a headache,one that I wouldn't want to relive.
In response to: In your new relationship,
are you willing and/or find appropriate discussing your previous lover with your current SO?
Do you want to know if they were better lovers?
I'd imagine many in a new relationship ponder this question...
But would you ask?
And would you tell the truth if you are asked?
are you willing and/or find appropriate discussing your previous lover with your current SO?
Do you want to know if they were better lovers?
I'd imagine many in a new relationship ponder this question...
But would you ask?
And would you tell the truth if you are asked?
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Polarbutterfly: My ex never did ask about my past relationships
until I asked about his.Big mistake!!I then
started feeling like I had to live up to his ex;
don't know why that is,I just felt like I had to
know.And he asked things like did my past lover please
me in ways that my then bf did.Awkward,very awkward
so,I'll never go there again,just too much of
a headache,one that I wouldn't want to relive.
until I asked about his.Big mistake!!I then
started feeling like I had to live up to his ex;
don't know why that is,I just felt like I had to
know.And he asked things like did my past lover please
me in ways that my then bf did.Awkward,very awkward
so,I'll never go there again,just too much of
a headache,one that I wouldn't want to relive.
I agree, Polar, it can be very awkward, and just plain hurtful... unnecessary so.
It all can (and should, IMO) be communicated with confidentiality, using discretion, good taste and tact. Absolutely no need to bring ex-lover(s) performance in bedroom in between two people. I don't thing the harm can be undone afterward.
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While I might wonder, I would also already know, my partners past lover didn't make it, and I was there now. I have never been with a partner and thought about the love of a past partner. 
I love the one I'm with.
I love the one I'm with. ------ This thread is Archived ------
Abram: While I might wonder, I would also already know, my partners past lover didn't make it, and I was there now. I have never been with a partner and thought about the love of a past partner. I love the one I'm with.
And it's a great song
Abram, thank you for sharing. 
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Laura25: Reasonable.
What about vice versa? Would you want to know your *rate*? And would you ask?
What about vice versa? Would you want to know your *rate*? And would you ask?
I wouldn't generally want to know something like that, but if we were having an issue in that area I may be inclined to ask some history related questions in an effort to find a solution.
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nuh dont bother
Laura25: In your new relationship,
are you willing and/or find appropriate discussing your previous lover with your current SO?
Do you want to know if they were better lovers?
I'd imagine many in a new relationship ponder this question...
But would you ask?
And would you tell the truth if you are asked?
are you willing and/or find appropriate discussing your previous lover with your current SO?
Do you want to know if they were better lovers?
I'd imagine many in a new relationship ponder this question...
But would you ask?
And would you tell the truth if you are asked?
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Laura25: Thank you for your input, Kcuc! Always a pleasure...
thank you Laura, u are so sweet, actually, i dont hv much experiences in this thread,
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I don't want to know about previous lovers. One of my previous lovers always talked about his previous. I felt inadequate at first. Then I just told him stop I don't care about your previous, I don't want you talking about them OK!. They still crept in once or twice. He is a decent guy, but shut up will ya.
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Laura25: In your new relationship,
are you willing and/or find appropriate discussing your previous lover with your current SO?
Do you want to know if they were better lovers?
I'd imagine many in a new relationship ponder this question...
But would you ask?
And would you tell the truth if you are asked?
are you willing and/or find appropriate discussing your previous lover with your current SO?
Do you want to know if they were better lovers?
I'd imagine many in a new relationship ponder this question...
But would you ask?
And would you tell the truth if you are asked?
If any man or woman in my opinion needs to continuously bring up their past relationship they should never be in the new one.
to me that would mean they are not over their last one yet.
I personally would never ask. I am my own person and we all do it differently, we personalise everything from a simple kiss to the missionary position.
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RDM59: No I wouldn't ask, and if asked I would be reticent to comment on previous lovers. I think it shows a sign of insecurity to pry onto the subject. You either click together or you don't, previous history is not important.
true, and really it 's silly - drama seeking trouble making silliness, nothing good can come from such inquiries & I would not cooperate with them
if my new guy talks incessantly about his ex, I will know who is on his mind and leave - I would not stay with such a man
we all know that we've had previous lovers
but ur current partner deserves loyalty & ur full attention as you do also from him/her------ This thread is Archived ------
The only thing at risk when discussing previous lovers, is one's ego. If you can handle the knowledge that your partner has had a full and fulfilling life before she met you, why not explore this mine of information about the person most important to you? Her past is the blueprint to what makes her the person she is today. I will not let my insecurities prevent me from learning about her life and loves. She is her history. The past is important.
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Laura25: In your new relationship,
are you willing and/or find appropriate discussing your previous lover with your current SO?
Do you want to know if they were better lovers?
I'd imagine many in a new relationship ponder this question...
But would you ask?
And would you tell the truth if you are asked?
I would probably tell the truth if asked, but I wouldn't ask. I don't think I want to know.are you willing and/or find appropriate discussing your previous lover with your current SO?
Do you want to know if they were better lovers?
I'd imagine many in a new relationship ponder this question...
But would you ask?
And would you tell the truth if you are asked?
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BoyracerBMW: The only thing at risk when discussing previous lovers, is one's ego. If you can handle the knowledge that your partner has had a full and fulfilling life before she met you, why not explore this mine of information about the person most important to you? Her past is the blueprint to what makes her the person she is today. I will not let my insecurities prevent me from learning about her life and loves. She is her history. The past is important.
hence the "boy" in boyracer. perhaps because she does notwish to tell you, and to not respectthat is disrespectful.
that is not how to learn about a partner, but I will leave u to figure that out
It really is more insecure to pursue these types of questions as a secure man does not need to know - he is confident in his own & that will make him a good lover - there are far far better ways to learn about pleasing a woman
we are not all the same - perhaps u will find a woman who wishes to talk about such things, but there is also a good deal of wisdom in here for you that would suggest having a care
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I bow to your obvious greater knowledge and experience in dealing with these delicate issues. I am but a boy. You are wise and sensitive, as you abundantly show in your reply here. Thank you for putting me on the right path in this regard.
felixis99: hence the "boy" in boyracer. perhaps because she does notwish to tell you, and to not respectthat is disrespectful.
that is not how to learn about a partner, but I will leave u to figure that out
It really is more insecure to pursue these types of questions as a secure man does not need to know - he is confident in his own & that will make him a good lover - there are far far better ways to learn about pleasing a woman
we are not all the same - perhaps u will find a woman who wishes to talk about such things, but there is also a good deal of wisdom in here for you that would suggest having a care
that is not how to learn about a partner, but I will leave u to figure that out
It really is more insecure to pursue these types of questions as a secure man does not need to know - he is confident in his own & that will make him a good lover - there are far far better ways to learn about pleasing a woman
we are not all the same - perhaps u will find a woman who wishes to talk about such things, but there is also a good deal of wisdom in here for you that would suggest having a care
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Boban1: Im currently reevaluating if I should keep posting in a funny kind of way ore should I become serious
don't lose any sleep over it?
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at least for the majority of couples that I know.
But Nans, does this kind of open communication really require discussing your previous lover(s) with your new one?
Just curious, 'coz I don't see a need for betraying someones else's privacy in order to reach this *harmony*.
IMO, in a stable and secure relationship you owe
ownrespect to your lover and have the right to expect the same in return.Isn't what you two do in privacy intimate and should be shared only by the two of you? What if you videotape yourselves, would you be OK with him sharing these videos with his new SO when asked to compare?
Hi Nans
See y'all later!