I'm going to venture a guess: one's attitudes about discussing previous relationships is indicative of one's attitudes toward communication in general.
That is, if you don't believe in such discussions, you probably don't believe in truly open lines of communication with your significant other. You likely are also banning other subjects as well.
nanners2863: Whoa!! You dropped the F-bomb and used the word "eh".. . Knew I liked you!! And yes I concour. The ultimate closeness requires the ultimate in openess.
Ah crap..conquer..is that right.. Why can't I spell today!!!
kcuc0574Ho Chi Minh, Southeast Vietnam Vietnam2,003 posts
Laura25: In your new relationship,
are you willing and/or find appropriate discussing your previous lover with your current SO?
Do you want to know if they were better lovers?
I'd imagine many in a new relationship ponder this question...
But would you ask?
And would you tell the truth if you are asked?
For me once i hv started the new relationship, that mean i hv forgotten my ex lover completely, then i feel very bored to talk about him to anyone, although in my mind i always consider him as one of my very good friends, i will willingly help him if he need my help, then if the current lover ask me about ex lover, i will hv nothing to tell ... i will say nothing, there is nothing to remember or to tell. But for my new lover, in my thingking i am really concerned about his ex-lover, i will choose many suitable chances to ask him about his past life, then i can understand him more, i will understand to some extent what he will think of me .... It is very complicated to discuss about this. Bye Bye,
are you willing and/or find appropriate discussing your previous lover with your current SO?
I don't find it at all constructive to do that. First, it would be a one-sided story so if it's to waste time and spit on a memory lane which I'm only half-privy to, I'd rather my time with her pursuing happier horizons.
Laura25: Do you want to know if they were better lovers? I'd imagine many in a new relationship ponder this question...
I've never asked and never will. I know what I'm worth, no I don't want to know because it wouldn't make a bit of a difference would it? I'm me and I can't be anybody else but myself.
Laura25: But would you ask?
Nope.
Laura25: And would you tell the truth if you are asked?
I've been asked that before and I always say the same thing: She was good at somethings which you seem to hesitate on but then again, you're much better at what you do. I'd be lying if said I wanted to be with her now instead of being with you, babe.
It's diplomatic, it's the truth and it always gets me a tender kiss
Mature people in a new relationship,don't ask such questions,of cource both parties, compare with past experiences, and if somebody tells you my previous lover,was better than you, is like telling you the door is open,please leave.
Laura25: In your new relationship,
are you willing and/or find appropriate discussing your previous lover with your current SO?
Do you want to know if they were better lovers?
I'd imagine many in a new relationship ponder this question...
lifeisadreamMexi Go, Mexico State Mexico16,713 posts
Hello Laura I would rather not to know about past reltionships but if he wants to know something I would give the answers but never saying anything bad from anyone in the past.
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
That is, if you don't believe in such discussions, you probably don't believe in truly open lines of communication with your significant other. You likely are also banning other subjects as well.