Mind over heart to get over an ex (36)
StressFree: Now, could I have loved someone like the one I see in you
Yeah, I remember the good times baby now, and the bad times too
These last few weeks of holdin' on
The days are dull, the nights are long
Guess it's better to say
Goodbye to you
Yeah, I remember the good times baby now, and the bad times too
These last few weeks of holdin' on
The days are dull, the nights are long
Guess it's better to say
Goodbye to you
LOVE that song!!!!!
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Aww sweets...well as most of ppl said here its diff. for everyone and takes TIME --- but according to my own exp. You CAN do something to help the process to speed up , FOCUS ON URSELF and feed ur SELFSTEME
It's so weird when u can see and talk to that person that once u loved so much , and feel NOTHING but just friendship
Saw my ex fiancee yesterday, we had lunch and he told me his wifey is pregnant , I was really happy for him(I am , honestly, not that im jsut saying)
Feel sorry for urself for a while , idealize the relationship u had... BUT after a while MOVE ON and GO FOCUS ON UR LIFE!!
Wish u the best!!!!
big hug
It's so weird when u can see and talk to that person that once u loved so much , and feel NOTHING but just friendship
Saw my ex fiancee yesterday, we had lunch and he told me his wifey is pregnant , I was really happy for him(I am , honestly, not that im jsut saying)
Feel sorry for urself for a while , idealize the relationship u had... BUT after a while MOVE ON and GO FOCUS ON UR LIFE!!
Wish u the best!!!!
big hug
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its hard for sure, but i think limit the time you see them and try to find some one else to date or if not at least find some one to have a crash on :). new love can soft the hurt of the old a little
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Remember the good times, learn from the mistakes and move on.
What awaits you in the future is going to better than your past.
Time heals everything and is all on you.
What awaits you in the future is going to better than your past.
Time heals everything and is all on you.
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Hello ML--we all agree on here pretty much to move on, and that we all do it at a different pace...for my own experience I have to leave it behind, view it as a book, and now this chapter is closed and time to go on to another chapter, maybe finding something that is so unlike me, like when I got into horses, I had a totally diffferent focus, and it broadened my thinking, my appreciation for such a big animal...My next thing I think will be to get involved with animal rescue of some sort, life is so
short and they can heal us as well as we help them...I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time...it's to focus on something else, that needs your attention, and each day a little
piece of your memory will fall away...it's over hun, and accepting that is the first step, moving on the next, trying to figure out what it is you can do does take time, but it will be worth it...if it is so overwhelming I went to a counselor for about a year, I understand how hard it is to break away, and sometimes an outsider can help you to find your way....best of luck to you on your next chapter...a fresh new page is waiting for you to write on it.... 
short and they can heal us as well as we help them...I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time...it's to focus on something else, that needs your attention, and each day a little
piece of your memory will fall away...it's over hun, and accepting that is the first step, moving on the next, trying to figure out what it is you can do does take time, but it will be worth it...if it is so overwhelming I went to a counselor for about a year, I understand how hard it is to break away, and sometimes an outsider can help you to find your way....best of luck to you on your next chapter...a fresh new page is waiting for you to write on it....
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missingLondon: Why is it such a struggle to break the emotional bond with an ex with whom you were together for a long time? When does the battle between mind telling you they're not worth it and heart wanting the bond back stop?
If you're a man......it comes much more easily because of the lack of need for fantacy .......
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In response to: Why is it such a struggle to break the emotional bond with an ex with whom you were together for a long time? When does the battle between mind telling you they're not worth it and heart wanting the bond back stop?
It doesn't come easy, but something to remember is, don't have any contact with them in person or on the phone. If you run into them somewhere, leave. Relocate if you can. Stay busy and do not grab someone on the rebound. You are more apt to make poor judgments. Every day will make it easier to move on.
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It's hard because it makes you look down avenues you do not normally look down. You ask questions you can't answer. Questions of how it went wrong, questions about the other and questions about yourself. Eventually you hang it up and realize no matter the answers you have to carry on
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missingLondon: Why is it such a struggle to break the emotional bond with an ex with whom you were together for a long time? When does the battle between mind telling you they're not worth it and heart wanting the bond back stop?
For me the battle is won,once I find a way to feel they are no longer my responsibility,as when I am seeing someone,I feel I must take care of them,and I worry about them and all the things they are struggling over in their lives,for a good while after.Its easier for me if they start seeing someone else,as I don't feel much in the way of jealousy,just want them to be alright.
As to my heart,I still often think and miss,boyfriends,even friends I haven't seen in years.I am a great believer,and I tell my friends who have the yo-yo style relationships where they keep going back for another try,that you have to be completely sure before you move on,or you just can't quite move on,but while testing the water,its good to make changes in life style to improve ones strength and self esteem-its a process,and needs to run its course and berating yourself for going back is debilitating.
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missingLondon: Why is it such a struggle to break the emotional bond with an ex with whom you were together for a long time? When does the battle between mind telling you they're not worth it and heart wanting the bond back stop?
It will be harder if you were not the one who initiated the break-up. But still, it always takes time just the same.... that darn battle between mind and heart. And the feeling of *loss/failure* is quite nagging. Good luck dearie, it's not impossible though......
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StressFree: The emotional bond was built over a period of time, and it sure is not going to magically disappear over night. All kinds of experiences were shared together---visions were shared together, adversities were shared together, love was shared together, life changing moments were shared together etc.
We tend to identify ourselves through our partners and relationships, some even define their lives and happiness by this since it harbors the deepest meaning to them. Many individuals depend on and need someone outside of the self in order to be happy. So when we lose our partners, we tend to think that we have lost a part of ourselves.
We all felt at one time, that our ex was possibly going to be with us forever, so when the relationship fails, it can be hard to react to and manage in that sense. Ideally, we all want to find somebody special, and stay with them forever in bliss.
Yeah, that's life and it takes time to accept the new reality. A significant factor I've observed, is how an individual invests his or her focus after the breakup. Continually focusing on thoughts such as "why me", "I need him, I can't go on without him", or "I'll never find somebody else, I'll be lonely forever" only bring emotions such as pain and fear---disharmony---and prolongs the recovery process.
On the other hand, and with time, realizing that the relationship is no longer serving anybody, and that you can be hopeful about the future about being happy alone and finding another loved one really helps with the recovery process.
Perspective, time, and realization. Getting perspective during that process is very important---talk to friends, family, and read any material relating to that so you can begin to come out of the static. The main thing is acknowledging that the relationship was no longer serving either of you two and that people do go in different directions for various reasons that may seem unfair. In other words, letting go. And love does mean letting go. Love for yourself, and your partner. Holding on too long is not being fair and honest with yourself since it only brings disharmony. The moment you begin to let go of ideas and thoughts that don't work for you, the sooner and quicker you'll be on the path to recovery and moving on with no hard feelings---but understanding.
There is no standard of time for the letting go and recovery process, it's up to you. It can be a couple of months or years. We can still always remember the good times, but at the same time, we must live in the now and go forward with happiness and confidence.
oh....such wisdom!!We tend to identify ourselves through our partners and relationships, some even define their lives and happiness by this since it harbors the deepest meaning to them. Many individuals depend on and need someone outside of the self in order to be happy. So when we lose our partners, we tend to think that we have lost a part of ourselves.
We all felt at one time, that our ex was possibly going to be with us forever, so when the relationship fails, it can be hard to react to and manage in that sense. Ideally, we all want to find somebody special, and stay with them forever in bliss.
Yeah, that's life and it takes time to accept the new reality. A significant factor I've observed, is how an individual invests his or her focus after the breakup. Continually focusing on thoughts such as "why me", "I need him, I can't go on without him", or "I'll never find somebody else, I'll be lonely forever" only bring emotions such as pain and fear---disharmony---and prolongs the recovery process.
On the other hand, and with time, realizing that the relationship is no longer serving anybody, and that you can be hopeful about the future about being happy alone and finding another loved one really helps with the recovery process.
Perspective, time, and realization. Getting perspective during that process is very important---talk to friends, family, and read any material relating to that so you can begin to come out of the static. The main thing is acknowledging that the relationship was no longer serving either of you two and that people do go in different directions for various reasons that may seem unfair. In other words, letting go. And love does mean letting go. Love for yourself, and your partner. Holding on too long is not being fair and honest with yourself since it only brings disharmony. The moment you begin to let go of ideas and thoughts that don't work for you, the sooner and quicker you'll be on the path to recovery and moving on with no hard feelings---but understanding.
There is no standard of time for the letting go and recovery process, it's up to you. It can be a couple of months or years. We can still always remember the good times, but at the same time, we must live in the now and go forward with happiness and confidence.
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plainlyjune: It is a struggle because your logical sense is in conflict with what you feel. It stops when the two are in agreement.
Dam feelings where are we suppose to put them
feelings always get us in trouble sometimes I wish I could turn my off
but if we did not have them what a awful person we would be
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StressFree: The emotional bond was built over a period of time, and it sure is not going to magically disappear over night. All kinds of experiences were shared together---visions were shared together, adversities were shared together, love was shared together, life changing moments were shared together etc.
We tend to identify ourselves through our partners and relationships, some even define their lives and happiness by this since it harbors the deepest meaning to them. Many individuals depend on and need someone outside of the self in order to be happy. So when we lose our partners, we tend to think that we have lost a part of ourselves.
We all felt at one time, that our ex was possibly going to be with us forever, so when the relationship fails, it can be hard to react to and manage in that sense. Ideally, we all want to find somebody special, and stay with them forever in bliss.
Yeah, that's life and it takes time to accept the new reality. A significant factor I've observed, is how an individual invests his or her focus after the breakup. Continually focusing on thoughts such as "why me", "I need him, I can't go on without him", or "I'll never find somebody else, I'll be lonely forever" only bring emotions such as pain and fear---disharmony---and prolongs the recovery process.
On the other hand, and with time, realizing that the relationship is no longer serving anybody, and that you can be hopeful about the future about being happy alone and finding another loved one really helps with the recovery process.
Perspective, time, and realization. Getting perspective during that process is very important---talk to friends, family, and read any material relating to that so you can begin to come out of the static. The main thing is acknowledging that the relationship was no longer serving either of you two and that people do go in different directions for various reasons that may seem unfair. In other words, letting go. And love does mean letting go. Love for yourself, and your partner. Holding on too long is not being fair and honest with yourself since it only brings disharmony. The moment you begin to let go of ideas and thoughts that don't work for you, the sooner and quicker you'll be on the path to recovery and moving on with no hard feelings---but understanding.
There is no standard of time for the letting go and recovery process, it's up to you. It can be a couple of months or years. We can still always remember the good times, but at the same time, we must live in the now and go forward with happiness and confidence.
WOW well I just posted a question in the forum what you do to get over him or her We tend to identify ourselves through our partners and relationships, some even define their lives and happiness by this since it harbors the deepest meaning to them. Many individuals depend on and need someone outside of the self in order to be happy. So when we lose our partners, we tend to think that we have lost a part of ourselves.
We all felt at one time, that our ex was possibly going to be with us forever, so when the relationship fails, it can be hard to react to and manage in that sense. Ideally, we all want to find somebody special, and stay with them forever in bliss.
Yeah, that's life and it takes time to accept the new reality. A significant factor I've observed, is how an individual invests his or her focus after the breakup. Continually focusing on thoughts such as "why me", "I need him, I can't go on without him", or "I'll never find somebody else, I'll be lonely forever" only bring emotions such as pain and fear---disharmony---and prolongs the recovery process.
On the other hand, and with time, realizing that the relationship is no longer serving anybody, and that you can be hopeful about the future about being happy alone and finding another loved one really helps with the recovery process.
Perspective, time, and realization. Getting perspective during that process is very important---talk to friends, family, and read any material relating to that so you can begin to come out of the static. The main thing is acknowledging that the relationship was no longer serving either of you two and that people do go in different directions for various reasons that may seem unfair. In other words, letting go. And love does mean letting go. Love for yourself, and your partner. Holding on too long is not being fair and honest with yourself since it only brings disharmony. The moment you begin to let go of ideas and thoughts that don't work for you, the sooner and quicker you'll be on the path to recovery and moving on with no hard feelings---but understanding.
There is no standard of time for the letting go and recovery process, it's up to you. It can be a couple of months or years. We can still always remember the good times, but at the same time, we must live in the now and go forward with happiness and confidence.
Well I got some enlightment from this post it was beautiful and encouraging thank you so much for posting it
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lovely4u7da: WOW well I just posted a question in the forum what you do to get over him or her
Well I got some enlightment from this post it was beautiful and encouraging thank you so much for posting it
Well I got some enlightment from this post it was beautiful and encouraging thank you so much for posting it
Thank you
Just channeled my higher-self for that message. Otherwise I'm goofing around here lol.
Honor the light within you...
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msmanager2010: StressFree - thank you for your post. Though I didn't start this thread, I have been feeling the same as "Missing London".
I hope your answer helped her as much as it did me.
I know it helped me I wrote it down so I can read it everyday if I have to I hope your answer helped her as much as it did me.
stressfree was on the money with his encouraging words
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Yeah, I remember the good times baby now, and the bad times too
These last few weeks of holdin' on
The days are dull, the nights are long
Guess it's better to say
Goodbye to you