The "C" word ( Archived) (35)

And, no, it's not the one you might think, but it's equally repulsive and prone to causing a very uncomfortable reaction when one hears this word....

Cancer.

Today I went to a dermatologist, for him to examine a new "spot" I have seen recently on my thigh. Most likely, he tells me, it is basal cell carcinoma...a skin cancer that is treatable and one of the least forms of skin cancer to worry about....

But it's cancer.

And so the mind wanders. And we think of all the "what ifs" and "buts" and "maybes." And we take it to far greater levels in our minds. Cancer. A horrible, nasty, disgusting, fearful word. Much like the other "c" word. But the odd thing is that, while my mind took me to places that I know I won't be going to anytime soon, I felt ok. Not terrified, not horrified, not sad. Very much ok. My wild imaginations of my untimely death told me that I am very much at peace. I know I have, in my life, done many wonderful and amazing things....and I have also been a bad, bad girl ( ). And when it's all said and done, I will quietly slip out of the back exit with a crooked little grin on my face.

I'll have the biopsy on Tuesday to be sure, and again...he assures me that I shouldn't worry and what he believes I have is very treatable, so this is by no means a "woe is me" thread. I just was quite delighted to realize that perhaps bad news, that causes the mind to wander, can sometimes be an eye-opening and peaceful awakening.

Just thinking/writing out loud here.

"Most likely"??? I would have punched him in the chops, especially if he was gazing at my thigh all that time. Then I would tell him that he "most likely had an irrecoverable brain injury now." from hitting him. Without so much as a test he hands you the 'C' word?


Well, I am glad you're taking this in stride T ... more power to you!

It certainly has the ability to shock and make you think.

On New Years Eve I received a phone call to say my brother (in England) had Hodgkins Lymphoma. Quite a shock and he was due to get married the end of March but while they wanted him to start chemo immediately he deferred until he got married. He brought the wedding forward and got married the end of January, which was a bit surreal. Anyway the chemo is working and scan results are all positive, but.

It made me think. He is so clean living. Doesnt smoke, drinks in moderation, exercises daily and eats extremely well. All the things I dont do. Unfortunately it can strike anyone anytime. From my reading of the subject there have been huge advances in treatments in the last 5-10 years.

Hope it goes well for you Thal

Yes the big "C" word ... it's an "interesting" experience when it comes knocking on your very own door ... you sound at peace with yourself Thalassa

When it came knocking on mine 6 years ago, it made me completely re-evaluate my life ... and because I was lucky that the cells were only pre-cancerous and could be easily removed ... I was able to make changes to have a better quality of life ...

I get you.

I had a close shave during surgery. It was scary and painful at the time, but has lead to a much greater understanding of how the mind and body works and a certain inner peace.

I'm certainly not afraid of death other than my daughter and granddaughter are too young yet, for me to be run over by a bus.

I have a customer who has skin cancer, she complains, "Its such a nuisance..." when she has areas removed. Her diminishing of the big C both belies the seriousness of her condition and puts it in its proper place at the same time. I admire her greatly and she always makes me smile.

Well, the "most likely" part is my fault. He told me a couple of things that it might be and I asked him, point blank, what he thought it really is (based on his experience). In other words, I didn't want bs, I wanted an educated opinion, which he gave me when I pressed.

I can't say I'm taking it all in stride, exactly, as I don't look forward to the biopsy, but it does seem that all will be ok, so I don't feel particularly worried about the outcome...just dreading the discomfort (read: pain) because I'm a complete wuss when it comes to pain.

Dear Thalassa, Even though I don't know you, I still wish you a speedy and posative recovery . If your doctor is not very cocerned about ill effects, then they probably will not be any . If, as you say it is a mild or treatable one then it is prudent to expect no ill of it . Please keep us posted so we all can celabrate the outcome . . . .

Hugs and blessings..... positive vines...