Woo's coffee shop is now an all night club (202)
Zellarrone1: They've all been re-incarnated and on the run to make sure they don't end up in the cooking pot again
Have you managed to train the 'parrot' to say anything yet?
Oh, and be aware of trying on the catsuit. Especially down in the cellar. Lazy Mickey hasn't fixed the lights down there, so you may trip and fall onto all fours!
cynicalorange: Have you managed to train the 'parrot' to say anything yet?
Oh, and be aware of trying on the catsuit. Especially down in the cellar. Lazy Mickey hasn't fixed the lights down there, so you may trip and fall onto all fours!
Oh, and be aware of trying on the catsuit. Especially down in the cellar. Lazy Mickey hasn't fixed the lights down there, so you may trip and fall onto all fours!
Evening Cyn, Zell's a wise one and I'm pretty sure that she can take care of herself.Anyway Mickey's busy elsewhere by the looks of it.
bestbefore: Evening Cyn, Zell's a wise one and I'm pretty sure that she can take care of herself.Anyway Mickey's busy elsewhere by the looks of it.
Evening BB,
Yah, she's managed to hide all the pets from me, so I've been reduced to cooking bats and roadkill
I sent Mickey out to buy some fuses. If a punter was to fall over, it would leave him with all manner of problems.
Oh, and I found a bag at the top of the pole. Is it yours?
cynicalorange: Evening BB,
Yah, she's managed to hide all the pets from me, so I've been reduced to cooking bats and roadkill I sent Mickey out to buy some fuses. If a punter was to fall over, it would leave him with all manner of problems.
Oh, and I found a bag at the top of the pole. Is it yours?
Yah, she's managed to hide all the pets from me, so I've been reduced to cooking bats and roadkill I sent Mickey out to buy some fuses. If a punter was to fall over, it would leave him with all manner of problems.
Oh, and I found a bag at the top of the pole. Is it yours?
You should have asked for her name.
Oh I seeeeeeeeeeeeeee you mean a handbag::doh:
I never use them,just keep my credit card in a hidden pocket.
Mind you it's a bit embarrassing when I'm stood at the cash machine with my hand down my knickers.
Got to go I'm next on the mike in the jokes corner.
See you at the bar.
Evening all another of BBs gems for you.
Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.
Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.
One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. 'STOP!,' he shouted in a firm voice. 'Have you got a license for that thing?'
Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper
and held it up to him.
'OK' he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.
As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted 'STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?'
Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him.
Harold nodded and said 'On your way, Ma'am.'
As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her,
Butt- Naked, and holding his 'You-Know- What' in his hand.
'Oh, good grief,' yelled Ethel,
'Not that Damn Breathalyser Test again.!!!'
Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.
Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.
One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. 'STOP!,' he shouted in a firm voice. 'Have you got a license for that thing?'
Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper
and held it up to him.
'OK' he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.
As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted 'STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?'
Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him.
Harold nodded and said 'On your way, Ma'am.'
As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her,
Butt- Naked, and holding his 'You-Know- What' in his hand.
'Oh, good grief,' yelled Ethel,
'Not that Damn Breathalyser Test again.!!!'
bestbefore: You should have asked for her name.
Oh I seeeeeeeeeeeeeee you mean a handbag::doh: I never use them,just keep my credit card in a hidden pocket.
Mind you it's a bit embarrassing when I'm stood at the cash machine with my hand down my knickers. Got to go I'm next on the mike in the jokes corner.
See you at the bar.
Oh I seeeeeeeeeeeeeee you mean a handbag::doh: I never use them,just keep my credit card in a hidden pocket.
Mind you it's a bit embarrassing when I'm stood at the cash machine with my hand down my knickers. Got to go I'm next on the mike in the jokes corner.
See you at the bar.
Pssst, that's not a pocket
cynicalorange: At least you didn't want to gargle with it
Oh god don't
The gag reflexes kicked at the mere thought of gargling with it bestbefore: This is just the format we need for the stand up comic nights.
That medication must have done you the power of good. Keep taking it Lily, or Nurse Ratched will shove it where the sun don't shine.
That medication must have done you the power of good. Keep taking it Lily, or Nurse Ratched will shove it where the sun don't shine.
Whatever it is you've got me on, it's certainly done the trick
I've bounced back 
Erm, just out of curiosity though, is it legal?
And, if by chance you do need to shove it where the sun don't shine, go gentle with me please
The13thWarrior: In most cases that would certainly be a 'bone' of contention
Though i understand you've also been auditioning for a film production of a Joe Orton play.. 'Slip Me A Length'?!
Though i understand you've also been auditioning for a film production of a Joe Orton play.. 'Slip Me A Length'?!
It sounds like the ideal part for me
Depending on the length
With Christmas just around the corner n money being as tight as it is at the mo. CO n I have come up with a bit of a money making brainwave. We plotted to rob the club. Purely to ease finacial burden.
We pull up outside the greasy pole nuts club.
"Now, remember the plan" I tell CO.
"YEAH, YEAH, no problem!" She says, rolling her eyes at me as she walks off to the club.
I sit waiting in the car patiently. Engine running ready for a quick getaway. Time passes. Five minute....then ten.......15 minutes later n I'm getting slightly worried.
Suddenly CO comes rushing out the club, dragging the safe behind her with it all tied up in rope. Closely followed by Mickeyscouse running after her............. with his pants around his ankles!?!
I looked at CO in disbelief and groaned "You plank! I said tie up Mickey and blow the safe!
NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
We pull up outside the greasy pole nuts club.
"Now, remember the plan" I tell CO.
"YEAH, YEAH, no problem!" She says, rolling her eyes at me as she walks off to the club.
I sit waiting in the car patiently. Engine running ready for a quick getaway. Time passes. Five minute....then ten.......15 minutes later n I'm getting slightly worried.
Suddenly CO comes rushing out the club, dragging the safe behind her with it all tied up in rope. Closely followed by Mickeyscouse running after her............. with his pants around his ankles!?!
I looked at CO in disbelief and groaned "You plank! I said tie up Mickey and blow the safe!
NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
xxLilyxx: With Christmas just around the corner n money being as tight as it is at the mo. CO n I have come up with a bit of a money making brainwave. We plotted to rob the club. Purely to ease finacial burden.
We pull up outside the greasy pole nuts club.
"Now, remember the plan" I tell CO.
"YEAH, YEAH, no problem!" She says, rolling her eyes at me as she walks off to the club.
I sit waiting in the car patiently. Engine running ready for a quick getaway. Time passes. Five minute....then ten.......15 minutes later n I'm getting slightly worried.
Suddenly CO comes rushing out the club, dragging the safe behind her with it all tied up in rope. Closely followed by Mickeyscouse running after her............. with his pants around his ankles!?!
I looked at CO in disbelief and groaned "You plank! I said tie up Mickey and blow the safe!
NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
We pull up outside the greasy pole nuts club.
"Now, remember the plan" I tell CO.
"YEAH, YEAH, no problem!" She says, rolling her eyes at me as she walks off to the club.
I sit waiting in the car patiently. Engine running ready for a quick getaway. Time passes. Five minute....then ten.......15 minutes later n I'm getting slightly worried.
Suddenly CO comes rushing out the club, dragging the safe behind her with it all tied up in rope. Closely followed by Mickeyscouse running after her............. with his pants around his ankles!?!
I looked at CO in disbelief and groaned "You plank! I said tie up Mickey and blow the safe!
NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
Oh Lily,that just about slayed me this morning
It's so nice to come on this thread and just chill.
We really need to spread the word and get some more comics to come on and perform.
mickeyscouse: I hope the leather catsuit I bought as part
of your uniform fits
Come down the cellar I will help you squeeze
into it
The catsuit is a purrfect fit of your uniform fits
Come down the cellar I will help you squeeze
into it
Not too tightly either, so I can still do my special pole-dance 
plus a few 
cynicalorange: Have you managed to train the 'parrot' to say anything yet?
He says.. "I've not returned to this mad club to be frazzled for someones feast again 
"bestbefore: We really need to spread the word and get some more comics to come on and perform.
Careful who you spread the word to we don't want the place being over-run by riff-raff 
xxLilyxx: With Christmas just around the corner n money being as tight as it is at the mo. CO n I have come up with a bit of a money making brainwave. We plotted to rob the club. Purely to ease finacial burden.
We pull up outside the greasy pole nuts club.
"Now, remember the plan" I tell CO.
"YEAH, YEAH, no problem!" She says, rolling her eyes at me as she walks off to the club.
I sit waiting in the car patiently. Engine running ready for a quick getaway. Time passes. Five minute....then ten.......15 minutes later n I'm getting slightly worried.
Suddenly CO comes rushing out the club, dragging the safe behind her with it all tied up in rope. Closely followed by Mickeyscouse running after her............. with his pants around his ankles!?!
I looked at CO in disbelief and groaned "You plank! I said tie up Mickey and blow the safe!
NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
We pull up outside the greasy pole nuts club.
"Now, remember the plan" I tell CO.
"YEAH, YEAH, no problem!" She says, rolling her eyes at me as she walks off to the club.
I sit waiting in the car patiently. Engine running ready for a quick getaway. Time passes. Five minute....then ten.......15 minutes later n I'm getting slightly worried.
Suddenly CO comes rushing out the club, dragging the safe behind her with it all tied up in rope. Closely followed by Mickeyscouse running after her............. with his pants around his ankles!?!
I looked at CO in disbelief and groaned "You plank! I said tie up Mickey and blow the safe!
NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
Walls have ears and I overheard the plans for the raid
Thats why I switched the contents of the safe for the contents
of my lunchbox
I must admit I hung around just to be tied up, as I was gonna claim big time on the insurance so it was an unexpected bonus and releif when the plan went wrong
I only chased after CO not for the sandwiches in the safe, but because she failed to finish the job
Zellarrone1: The catsuit is a purrfect fit Not too tightly either, so I can still do my special pole-dance plus a few
Step down into the cellar for a quick practise on my special
pole
Zellarrone1: Careful who you spread the word to we don't want the place being over-run by riff-raff
Good point Zell. Riff and raff definately not welcome.Almost as bad as Jeward
cynicalorange: Evening BB,
Yah, she's managed to hide all the pets from me, so I've been reduced to cooking bats and roadkill I sent Mickey out to buy some fuses. If a punter was to fall over, it would leave him with all manner of problems.
Oh, and I found a bag at the top of the pole. Is it yours?
Yah, she's managed to hide all the pets from me, so I've been reduced to cooking bats and roadkill I sent Mickey out to buy some fuses. If a punter was to fall over, it would leave him with all manner of problems.
Oh, and I found a bag at the top of the pole. Is it yours?
Dont need anymore fuses until the new BIG gates arrive for drive
mickeyscouse: Walls have ears and I overheard the plans for the raid
Thats why I switched the contents of the safe for the contents
of my lunchbox
I must admit I hung around just to be tied up, as I was gonna claim big time on the insurance so it was an unexpected bonus and releif when the plan went wrong
I only chased after CO not for the sandwiches in the safe, but because she failed to finish the job
Thats why I switched the contents of the safe for the contents
of my lunchbox
I must admit I hung around just to be tied up, as I was gonna claim big time on the insurance so it was an unexpected bonus and releif when the plan went wrong
I only chased after CO not for the sandwiches in the safe, but because she failed to finish the job
Aw,don't sack them Mickey,I think Lily had overdosed on her meds,and Cyn had been at the vodka yet again.
After all they are loyal to the club in other ways,and never mind what they do regards work.
Anyway you'll never get anyone to polish your pole the way Lil does.
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of all the christmas tips that I'll receive
I might even do a little pole dance at the gates, like this ->
of all the christmas tips that I'll receive
I might even do a little pole dance at the gates, like this ->
Whoopee Zell's got a job working at the Club. She can keep an eye on Cyn too,just in case any more weird dishes appear on the menu.
Hope Mickey doesn't entice her into the cellar though ,we can't keep losing staff this way.