Woo's coffee shop is now an all night club (202)
bestbefore: You rang?
javascript:emot('
');
About time you put in an appearance,Tc wants feeding,Leisure's having a field day in the corner playing with his C.Ds[ is that what they call it these days]
Cyn's back in the kitchen[ Pass the alkazeltsers] Lily's absconded since I let her out of the cellar.
What we need is some law and order around here
Oh evenin ociffer.hic
javascript:emot('
');About time you put in an appearance,Tc wants feeding,Leisure's having a field day in the corner playing with his C.Ds[ is that what they call it these days]
Cyn's back in the kitchen[ Pass the alkazeltsers] Lily's absconded since I let her out of the cellar.
What we need is some law and order around here
Oh evenin ociffer.hic
Oh BB I have a terrible confession to make, I've gone all OCD on mickey's pole
I can't help myself, spit, polish n a good old rub
It's that shiny I can actually see my face in it 
Tis I who needs the occiffer. It's a fair cop
I'm addicted n need locking up for my own good 
Ok, well maybe just the handcuffs would suffice
This is so frickin' ridiculus ....
I thought i would check in and say hi...
My internet is down and i am using my mobile ...
What a hoot ....lol
I thought i would check in and say hi...
My internet is down and i am using my mobile ...
What a hoot ....lol
This is so frickin' ridiculus ....
I thought i would check in and say hi...
My internet is down and i am using my mobile ...
What a hoot ....lol
I thought i would check in and say hi...
My internet is down and i am using my mobile ...
What a hoot ....lol
islandgirl62: This is so frickin' ridiculus ....
I thought i would check in and say hi...
My internet is down and i am using my mobile ...
What a hoot ....lol
I thought i would check in and say hi...
My internet is down and i am using my mobile ...
What a hoot ....lol
Hey girl,wondered where you had got to
Mickey's been awol from the club,and the staff situation has been dire.
As author of the thread perhaps you can step in and sort the glitches out.
How are things down under[ and I don't mean the cellar]
bestbefore: Hey girl,wondered where you had got to Mickey's been awol from the club,and the staff situation has been dire.
As author of the thread perhaps you can step in and sort the glitches out.
How are things down under[ and I don't mean the cellar]
As author of the thread perhaps you can step in and sort the glitches out.
How are things down under[ and I don't mean the cellar]
I'm going to nip down under onto the Island & help prop up
the Internet connection amongst other things with my pole
mickeyscouse: I'm going to nip down under onto the Island & help prop up
the Internet connection amongst other things with my pole
the Internet connection amongst other things with my pole
Well done Mickey,helping out a lady in distress. Don't get too tired though,that pole could be getting a lot of use this weekend.
Roadkill sandwiches anyone?
Not too sure what it was originally, but one of the things looked like it could have been a badger, and the other... well, I have no idea.
Oh, and Mickey, watch out for bushfires when propping the Internet connection down under
Not too sure what it was originally, but one of the things looked like it could have been a badger, and the other... well, I have no idea.
Oh, and Mickey, watch out for bushfires when propping the Internet connection down under
Roll up folks tonight is stand up comic night so all are welcome to partake of a joke.
I'll go first as there are no takers yet.
A Glaswegian is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he
comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river. He proceeds to
walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher....
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of
alcohol, hereupon he asks the drunk,
'Are you ready to find Jesus?'
The drunk shouts, 'Aye, I am.' So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up
and asks the drunk, Brother have you found Jesus?' The drunk replies, 'No, Ah havnae found Jesus.'
The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again,
'Have you found Jesus my brother?' The drunk again answers, 'No, Ah havnae found Jesus.'
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in
the water again ---
but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins
kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God have you found
Jesus?'
The drunk wipes his eyes, catches his breath and says to the preacher……………………….
‘Are you sure this is where he fell in’?
Please feel free to take the stage at any time.
I'll go first as there are no takers yet.
A Glaswegian is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he
comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river. He proceeds to
walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher....
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of
alcohol, hereupon he asks the drunk,
'Are you ready to find Jesus?'
The drunk shouts, 'Aye, I am.' So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up
and asks the drunk, Brother have you found Jesus?' The drunk replies, 'No, Ah havnae found Jesus.'
The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again,
'Have you found Jesus my brother?' The drunk again answers, 'No, Ah havnae found Jesus.'
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in
the water again ---
but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins
kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God have you found
Jesus?'
The drunk wipes his eyes, catches his breath and says to the preacher……………………….
‘Are you sure this is where he fell in’?
Please feel free to take the stage at any time.
A woman goes into Cabala's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark shades.
She says to him, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, ?"Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway......
He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a good all-around combination, and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
"Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts.
At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes......there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was her who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around?
The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"
He replies, "Yes, ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50."
She paid it and left without saying a word.
The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark shades.
She says to him, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, ?"Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway......
He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a good all-around combination, and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
"Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts.
At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes......there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was her who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around?
The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"
He replies, "Yes, ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50."
She paid it and left without saying a word.
well done 13th
Keep them coming 13th.
In the meantime here's another to make you titter.
Three men die and go to heaven.
At the gate St. Peter tells them,
"Before you go into heaven, we are going to give you each a
vehicle with which to get around. The way we determine what type
of vehicle you will get is by how faithful you were to your wives.
Now," he says, turning to the first man, "were you true to your wife?"
Yes, I was, St. Peter," says the first man. "I never strayed.
From the day I married her to the day I died, I slept with no
woman other than my wife. I loved her very deeply."
"As reward for your complete fidelity," says St. Peter, "I now
give you these keys to a beautiful Roll-Royce."
The man happily accepts the keys, and St. Peter turns to the
second man.
"Sir," he says, "were you faithful to you wife?"
Well, St. Peter," says the second man a little shyly, "I must
admit that when I was much younger, I did stray once or twice.
But I did love my wife very much, and after those minor
indiscretions, I was completely faithful until my dying day."
St. Peter looks down at the man and says, "As a reward for good
marital conduct, I am giving you these keys to a Pontiac."
As the man takes the keys from him St. Peter turns to the third
man. "Sir," he says, "were you faithful to you wife?"
"St. Peter," says the man, "I screwed everything I could, every
chance I got. There wasn't a week of my marriage that I didn't
sleep with someone other than, wife. But I must admit to you, St.
Peter, that it was a problem I had, because I really did love my
wife very much."
"Well," says St. Peter, "we do know that you did love your wife
and that does count for something, so this is what you get."
With that he rolls out a ten-speed bicycle and gives it to the man.
The gates of heaven open, and the three men enter.
Some time later the man on the bicycle is riding along, when he
sees that the man with the Rolls Royce has pulled over and is
sitting on the bumper of his car. He is sobbing uncontrollably.
The man pulls his bicycle up next to the car and says, "Hey, pal,
what's the matter? What could possibly be wrong? You have a
beautiful Rolls Royce to drive around in?"
"I know," says the man through his sobs, "but I just saw my wife
on roller skates!"
In the meantime here's another to make you titter.
Three men die and go to heaven.
At the gate St. Peter tells them,
"Before you go into heaven, we are going to give you each a
vehicle with which to get around. The way we determine what type
of vehicle you will get is by how faithful you were to your wives.
Now," he says, turning to the first man, "were you true to your wife?"
Yes, I was, St. Peter," says the first man. "I never strayed.
From the day I married her to the day I died, I slept with no
woman other than my wife. I loved her very deeply."
"As reward for your complete fidelity," says St. Peter, "I now
give you these keys to a beautiful Roll-Royce."
The man happily accepts the keys, and St. Peter turns to the
second man.
"Sir," he says, "were you faithful to you wife?"
Well, St. Peter," says the second man a little shyly, "I must
admit that when I was much younger, I did stray once or twice.
But I did love my wife very much, and after those minor
indiscretions, I was completely faithful until my dying day."
St. Peter looks down at the man and says, "As a reward for good
marital conduct, I am giving you these keys to a Pontiac."
As the man takes the keys from him St. Peter turns to the third
man. "Sir," he says, "were you faithful to you wife?"
"St. Peter," says the man, "I screwed everything I could, every
chance I got. There wasn't a week of my marriage that I didn't
sleep with someone other than, wife. But I must admit to you, St.
Peter, that it was a problem I had, because I really did love my
wife very much."
"Well," says St. Peter, "we do know that you did love your wife
and that does count for something, so this is what you get."
With that he rolls out a ten-speed bicycle and gives it to the man.
The gates of heaven open, and the three men enter.
Some time later the man on the bicycle is riding along, when he
sees that the man with the Rolls Royce has pulled over and is
sitting on the bumper of his car. He is sobbing uncontrollably.
The man pulls his bicycle up next to the car and says, "Hey, pal,
what's the matter? What could possibly be wrong? You have a
beautiful Rolls Royce to drive around in?"
"I know," says the man through his sobs, "but I just saw my wife
on roller skates!"
bestbefore: Roll up folks tonight is stand up comic night so all are welcome to partake of a joke
I'm no good at comedy. In fact, I'm no good on stage at all
I failed my audition for playing the part of Romeo today,
All because of a slight stage direction misunderstanding.
The copy of my script clearly stated 'Enter Juliet from the rear'
xxLilyxx: I'm no good at comedy. In fact, I'm no good on stage at all
I failed my audition for playing the part of Romeo today,
All because of a slight stage direction misunderstanding.
The copy of my script clearly stated 'Enter Juliet from the rear'
I failed my audition for playing the part of Romeo today,
All because of a slight stage direction misunderstanding.
The copy of my script clearly stated 'Enter Juliet from the rear'
In most cases that would certainly be a 'bone' of contention
Though i understand you've also been auditioning for a film production of a Joe Orton play.. 'Slip Me A Length'?!
xxLilyxx: I'm no good at comedy. In fact, I'm no good on stage at all
I failed my audition for playing the part of Romeo today,
All because of a slight stage direction misunderstanding.
The copy of my script clearly stated 'Enter Juliet from the rear'
I failed my audition for playing the part of Romeo today,
All because of a slight stage direction misunderstanding.
The copy of my script clearly stated 'Enter Juliet from the rear'
This is just the format we need for the stand up comic nights.
That medication must have done you the power of good.
Keep taking it Lily, or Nurse Ratched will shove it where the sun don't shine.The13thWarrior: In most cases that would certainly be a 'bone' of contention
Though i understand you've also been auditioning for a film production of a Joe Orton play.. 'Slip Me A Length'?!
Though i understand you've also been auditioning for a film production of a Joe Orton play.. 'Slip Me A Length'?!
Hi 13th
How do you fancy doing a double act with Lily ,you are both brilliant at one liners.
bestbefore: Hi 13th
How do you fancy doing a double act with Lily ,you are both brilliant at one liners.
How do you fancy doing a double act with Lily ,you are both brilliant at one liners.
Yes.. And we probably have sore arses and R.M.S to proove it!
Good morning BB
cynicalorange: I found some hyenas. Not too sure how they taste, but they got burnt a bit.
Zell seems to have hidden the menagerie, so have to make do with what's on offer.Tuck in.
They've all been re-incarnated and on the run to make sure they don't end up in the cooking pot again Zell seems to have hidden the menagerie, so have to make do with what's on offer.Tuck in.
mickeyscouse: Got a temp job for Zella till after crimbo
Someone keeps leaving the gates open
So got the BIG new electric ones being fitted after xmas
Zella can be the gate lady open/shut these old ones so I can get
my pole in and out safely
Someone keeps leaving the gates open
So got the BIG new electric ones being fitted after xmas
Zella can be the gate lady open/shut these old ones so I can get
my pole in and out safely
I gladly accept the Gatekeepers position.
of all the christmas tips that I'll receive 
I might even do a little pole dance at the gates, like this ->
Zellarrone1: I gladly accept the Gatekeepers position.
of all the christmas tips that I'll receive
I might even do a little pole dance at the gates, like this ->
of all the christmas tips that I'll receive
I might even do a little pole dance at the gates, like this ->
I hope the leather catsuit I bought as part
of your uniform fits
Come down the cellar I will help you squeeze
into it
More Threads
Would you hire this guy - for any job?
men's perspective towards women
The GOP Representatives owned by Vladimir Putin
the way you look
Why is this shameful?
wanting beyond need
More Proof The GOP is a Criminal Organization
Unions support Democrats!
your favorite topic?
The weird and the random facts around the world
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
Related Forums
- Would you hire this guy - for any job?
- men's perspective towards women
- The GOP Representatives owned by Vladimir Putin
- the way you look
- Why is this shameful?
- wanting beyond need
- More Proof The GOP is a Criminal Organization
- Unions support Democrats!
- your favorite topic?
- The weird and the random facts around the world
About time you put in an appearance,Tc wants feeding,Leisure's having a field day in the corner playing with his C.Ds[ is that what they call it these days]
Cyn's back in the kitchen[ Pass the alkazeltsers] Lily's absconded since I let her out of the cellar.
What we need is some law and order around here
Oh evenin ociffer.hic
Im just preparing the mud bath as I heard you like to roll around in mud
Dont know were the others are but Lily is in the cellar polishing my pole