Woo's coffee shop is now an all night club (202)
mickeyscouse: Dont need anymore fuses until the new BIG gates arrive for drive
Talking about gates,have you heard this one?
40 travellers arrive at the pearly gates asking for admittance.
St Peter tells them to wait while he has a word with God.
God tells him that he can only accept 12 of them.
St.Peter goes back to the gates and immediately phones God.
"They've gone" he tells God.
"What all of them"says God
"No ,Just the bloody gates"
xxLilyxx: With Christmas just around the corner n money being as tight as it is at the mo. CO n I have come up with a bit of a money making brainwave. We plotted to rob the club. Purely to ease finacial burden.
We pull up outside the greasy pole nuts club.
"Now, remember the plan" I tell CO.
"YEAH, YEAH, no problem!" She says, rolling her eyes at me as she walks off to the club.
I sit waiting in the car patiently. Engine running ready for a quick getaway. Time passes. Five minute....then ten.......15 minutes later n I'm getting slightly worried.
Suddenly CO comes rushing out the club, dragging the safe behind her with it all tied up in rope. Closely followed by Mickeyscouse running after her............. with his pants around his ankles!?!
I looked at CO in disbelief and groaned "You plank! I said tie up Mickey and blow the safe!
NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
We pull up outside the greasy pole nuts club.
"Now, remember the plan" I tell CO.
"YEAH, YEAH, no problem!" She says, rolling her eyes at me as she walks off to the club.
I sit waiting in the car patiently. Engine running ready for a quick getaway. Time passes. Five minute....then ten.......15 minutes later n I'm getting slightly worried.
Suddenly CO comes rushing out the club, dragging the safe behind her with it all tied up in rope. Closely followed by Mickeyscouse running after her............. with his pants around his ankles!?!
I looked at CO in disbelief and groaned "You plank! I said tie up Mickey and blow the safe!
NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
Oh, but you said it in such a rush, I got confused.
Either way, we got the safe and Mickey didn't object too much to being robbed
Now I crave cheese and onion crisps
Zellarrone1: He says.. "I've not returned to this mad club to be frazzled for someones feast again "
He's safe now anyway. Turkey is now on the menu. Keeping it festive and all that.
Now, it's 2 hours per kilo at 'sun surface temperature' isn't it?
mickeyscouse: How can I fire them after hearing there plight
With christmas around the corner and knowing they need
the cash, there are plenty of extra jobs I have in
mind for the pair
With christmas around the corner and knowing they need
the cash, there are plenty of extra jobs I have in
mind for the pair
Yah, but the 'jobs' you have have in mind, usually have 'blow' in front
mickeyscouse: Dont need anymore fuses until the new BIG gates arrive for drive
Hmmmm. Well, lets hope that they have a good locking mechanism on them. Don't want them being opened by the wind.
mickeyscouse: How can I fire them after hearing there plight
With christmas around the corner and knowing they need
the cash, there are plenty of extra jobs I have in
mind for the pair
With christmas around the corner and knowing they need
the cash, there are plenty of extra jobs I have in
mind for the pair
Awww fank you for not sacking us. We weally weally are soweee.
For being such a good boss, I promise I'll never ever piss in ya cornflakes again, or in ya plant pot
I'll even finish off what CO started earlier 
Although being honest, and to be fair to you, you may wanna reconsider trusting me serving behind the bar from now on.
Confession time! (Well, tis Sunday,just)
A guy rushed in the club the other night n asked me to line him up with our best, most expensive malt whiskey.
No sooner was I filling the glasses, he was downing them without pausing.
I lightheartedly said "slow down Sir, there's no hurry"
Looking rather distresssed he said "You'd hurry too if you had what I have"
I poured him another and as he knocked it back I sympathetically asked "What is it you have?"
"A quid"
came his reply So, I take full responsibility of takings being down
cynicalorange: Oh, but you said it in such a rush, I got confused. Either way, we got the safe and Mickey didn't object too much to being robbed Now I crave cheese and onion crisps
I do apologise for that. When I explain things that I'm excited about, I usually sound like someone on helium
I really must to learn to slow my speech down a bit. It would prevent some many people getting in a mucking fuddle over my jibberish 
cynicalorange: Yah, but the 'jobs' you have have in mind, usually have 'blow' in front
Or 'Hand'
xxLilyxx: Or 'Hand'
Am I the only "hand "around here doing any work. You wenches had better start pulling your fishnets up.
xxLilyxx: I do apologise for that. When I explain things that I'm excited about, I usually sound like someone on helium I really must to learn to slow my speech down a bit. It would prevent some many people getting in a mucking fuddle over my jibberish
I was a bit concerned as you did look as if you were about to pass out, you were jabbering away so much. It didn't look like you had time to breath.
But right. Kitchen is all clean, and fridge stocked up with proper food. The bar has been restocked, and I've taken the liberty of throwing the watered down drinks away.
Lots of soft drinks of all sorts have been stocked, and they will be free all the time. Plus, for the Christmas period, any designated driver, will be having a meal on the house.
cynicalorange: I was a bit concerned as you did look as if you were about to pass out, you were jabbering away so much. It didn't look like you had time to breath.
But right. Kitchen is all clean, and fridge stocked up with proper food. The bar has been restocked, and I've taken the liberty of throwing the watered down drinks away.
Lots of soft drinks of all sorts have been stocked, and they will be free all the time. Plus, for the Christmas period, any designated driver, will be having a meal on the house.
But right. Kitchen is all clean, and fridge stocked up with proper food. The bar has been restocked, and I've taken the liberty of throwing the watered down drinks away.
Lots of soft drinks of all sorts have been stocked, and they will be free all the time. Plus, for the Christmas period, any designated driver, will be having a meal on the house.
Blimey Cyn,you've been a busy girl. Does Mickey know you're feeding the men.
Anyway I think it's a great idea. Who's stuffing the bird.
bestbefore: Blimey Cyn,you've been a busy girl. Does Mickey know you're feeding the men.
Anyway I think it's a great idea. Who's stuffing the bird.
Anyway I think it's a great idea. Who's stuffing the bird.
Feeding???
Nobody said they had to be fed!
I think the bird stuffed itself
bestbefore: Am I the only "hand "around here doing any work. You wenches had better start pulling your fishnets up.
Think it would be best to have all hands on Mickeys deck
cynicalorange: Feeding??? Nobody said they had to be fed!I think the bird stuffed itself
I guess Zell did it to make sure we had the right bird.
xxLilyxx: Awww fank you for not sacking us. We weally weally are soweee.
For being such a good boss, I promise I'll never ever piss in ya cornflakes again, or in ya plant pot I'll even finish off what CO started earlier
Although being honest, and to be fair to you, you may wanna reconsider trusting me serving behind the bar from now on.
Confession time! (Well, tis Sunday,just)
A guy rushed in the club the other night n asked me to line him up with our best, most expensive malt whiskey.
No sooner was I filling the glasses, he was downing them without pausing.
I lightheartedly said "slow down Sir, there's no hurry"
Looking rather distresssed he said "You'd hurry too if you had what I have"
I poured him another and as he knocked it back I sympathetically asked "What is it you have?"
"A quid" came his reply
So, I take full responsibility of takings being down
For being such a good boss, I promise I'll never ever piss in ya cornflakes again, or in ya plant pot I'll even finish off what CO started earlier
Although being honest, and to be fair to you, you may wanna reconsider trusting me serving behind the bar from now on.
Confession time! (Well, tis Sunday,just)
A guy rushed in the club the other night n asked me to line him up with our best, most expensive malt whiskey.
No sooner was I filling the glasses, he was downing them without pausing.
I lightheartedly said "slow down Sir, there's no hurry"
Looking rather distresssed he said "You'd hurry too if you had what I have"
I poured him another and as he knocked it back I sympathetically asked "What is it you have?"
"A quid" came his reply
So, I take full responsibility of takings being down
mickeyscouse: Think it would be best to have all hands on Mickeys deck
Well methinks Cyn's looking to get promoted,she's cleaned the place from top to bottom.
xxLilyxx: Awww fank you for not sacking us. We weally weally are soweee.
For being such a good boss, I promise I'll never ever piss in ya cornflakes again, or in ya plant pot I'll even finish off what CO started earlier
Although being honest, and to be fair to you, you may wanna reconsider trusting me serving behind the bar from now on.
Confession time! (Well, tis Sunday,just)
A guy rushed in the club the other night n asked me to line him up with our best, most expensive malt whiskey.
No sooner was I filling the glasses, he was downing them without pausing.
I lightheartedly said "slow down Sir, there's no hurry"
Looking rather distresssed he said "You'd hurry too if you had what I have"
I poured him another and as he knocked it back I sympathetically asked "What is it you have?"
"A quid" came his reply
So, I take full responsibility of takings being down
For being such a good boss, I promise I'll never ever piss in ya cornflakes again, or in ya plant pot I'll even finish off what CO started earlier
Although being honest, and to be fair to you, you may wanna reconsider trusting me serving behind the bar from now on.
Confession time! (Well, tis Sunday,just)
A guy rushed in the club the other night n asked me to line him up with our best, most expensive malt whiskey.
No sooner was I filling the glasses, he was downing them without pausing.
I lightheartedly said "slow down Sir, there's no hurry"
Looking rather distresssed he said "You'd hurry too if you had what I have"
I poured him another and as he knocked it back I sympathetically asked "What is it you have?"
"A quid" came his reply
So, I take full responsibility of takings being down
Will have to dock your wages
Will figure out by how much depending on how well you finish
the job off
The best whiskey is my tipple not for the punters
bestbefore: Well methinks Cyn's looking to get promoted,she's cleaned the place from top to bottom.
No, there was a nasty smell as I think someone had come in and had a look around. It needed a good cleaning.
Nothing was taken though, apart from the fusebox for the new gates
cynicalorange: No, there was a nasty smell as I think someone had come in and had a look around. It needed a good cleaning.
Nothing was taken though, apart from the fusebox for the new gates
Nothing was taken though, apart from the fusebox for the new gates
Wonder who that was.
Won't do them any good I swapped them for some dud ones just in case
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After all they are loyal to the club in other ways,and never mind what they do regards work.
Anyway you'll never get anyone to polish your pole the way Lil does.
How can I fire them after hearing there plight
With christmas around the corner and knowing they need
the cash, there are plenty of extra jobs I have in
mind for the pair