CS Men - stop calling us Dear, and honey - CS ladies add what names get to you ( Archived) (136)

rohaan: thanks for the hug. Needed it.

rohaan: Thanks Sugar booger (couldn't resist...)

venusenvy: Like I said D, its a good screening tool. It squiges me out too... but Ive always thought its funny that women call each other those names and its no big...Strange eh?

I guess in the end, "a rose by any other name does smell as sweet"

rohaan: I fully understand, respect and agree with how you see this issue. Something to think about: If we are typically loving and gregarious, giving and receiving hugs (as I frequently do) and are even known for this, and do not seem to have pitfalls for and about it, then there is no negativity for us in it, because that's not how our world is rotating, per se. Conversely, at times someone who does not know me or only knows me marginally will give me a shoulder rub or a hug, not knowing that although I love hugs, I just don't want one from them. But how are they to know, if what they observe is that it appears I am that kind of person? It's not really their fault that I love hugs, just not from them. And, to answer the argument that one should find out first, well, hugs are spontaneous, for the most part, and that kind of wrecks the nicety of something spontaneous, if we always must get a verbal contract for it ahead of time. I believe comments like, "Lovie" (which I use a lot) and "Dear" are similar to this. Not everyone is going to know when and if it's "OK", if it seems to be "OK" part of the time. People are not trying to be condescending (not always, anyway) so my take on it is to not be so hard people who do it. Sometimes they are just trying to be nice, and a reprimand comes across as cold and distant. And that is unkind, which is never fashionable. I knew a waitress from Texas who called everybody "Sugar-Booger". No one "faulted" her for it, although there were a few people who would comment later. There are far worse things in the world than being called "Dear". So, take it light. JMO

rohaan: I fully understand, respect and agree with how you see this issue. Something to think about: If we are typically loving and gregarious, giving and receiving hugs (as I frequently do) and are even known for this, and do not seem to have pitfalls for and about it, then there is no negativity for us in it, because that's not how our world is rotating, per se. Conversely, at times someone who does not know me or only knows me marginally will give me a shoulder rub or a hug, not knowing that although I love hugs, I just don't want one from them. But how are they to know, if what they observe is that it appears I am that kind of person? It's not really their fault that I love hugs, just not from them. And, to answer the argument that one should find out first, well, hugs are spontaneous, for the most part, and that kind of wrecks the nicety of something spontaneous, if we always must get a verbal contract for it ahead of time. I believe comments like, "Lovie" (which I use a lot) and "Dear" are similar to this. Not everyone is going to know when and if it's "OK", if it seems to be "OK" part of the time. People are not trying to be condescending (not always, anyway) so my take on it is to not be so hard people who do it. Sometimes they are just trying to be nice, and a reprimand comes across as cold and distant. And that is unkind, which is never fashionable. I knew a waitress from Texas who called everybody "Sugar-Booger". No one "faulted" her for it, although there were a few people who would comment later. There are far worse things in the world than being called "Dear". So, take it light. JMO