afraid of getting with anyone because of little confidence...help? ( Archived) (72)

I know how you feel Stacy. I also carry it around my middle, butt, cankles, knees, arms but I'm dieting and it's working. Men do like thin women, they even say that's want they want in their profile. I feel if that's what they want then they shouldn't settle for anything else. Women state what they want. We are all entitled to want a certain type of person. You don't need advice. You know what the problem is. Do something about it but not because men want thin women. Do it for yourself. Good luck to you. Once you start, don't give up.

I have been plagued with weight problems most of my life. I have noticed at times when I'm thinner that I get much more attention from men, and when I'm heavier I seem to disappear from men's sight. It's kind of hard to be confidant when you seem not to exist but as I've gotten older it doesn't bother me as much. At least I know that when a man is with me he is not superficial and cares more about the things that really matter.

Having been a variety of sizes throughout my lifetime, I've come to the conclusion that I simply need to accept and love myself where I'm at and not worry about trying to impress others. Its a difficult thing to do as we are constantly bombarbed by society (media), friends, family and sometimes perfect strangers that we are not good enough.

Every day I hear and see women who are dissatisfied with their bodies ..... children never talk like that, until they start hearing the messages that others have said to them. Sometimes the tape in our heads get "stuck" so change your tape and start telling yourself good things that you do appreciate about your body.

I realize its not an overnight transformation ... but simply try it one day at a time and see what happens. As well, honor your body by taking care of it ... ie. eating well, regular exercise etc. It doesn't mean that you need to be a marathon runner, but merely getting yourself in good shape.

Realize as well, that your self confidence will attract people, and frankly men I think are attracted to a variety of body shapes/sizes (thank goodness for we do indeed come in all shapes and sizes)

As well, do give yourself a good reality check .... do the messages that you give yourself represent the truth? Ask others who are fair to give you a good assessment of yourself. That show "how to look good naked" comes to mind for its amazing how distorted people are about their body images. So challenge your opinions.

There is a customer who comes in and EVERY TIME (honest to goodness) she is putting herself down as she feels uncomfortable about her breast size. She's a woman in her eighties who has been carrying around this false image of herself since she was a teenager. She's actually an average size but because she was teased she is very self conscious.

So what's the story that you are telling yourself? Challenge yourself to discover whether its the truth or not .... and if so, either accept it, regret it or do something about it.

such a wasted time if you always compare yourself to others... Looking at those who are greater than you is good to make a better improvement for yourself...but sometimes we have to look at those people who are in lesser condition than us but they don't complain too much and they even do a great achievement in their life... Have you ever heard about Peter Dinklage, 135 cm height actor ???

why don't you just focus to your talents and try to maximize them instead of thinking about your body...I think you are attractive enough...if you still worry about your wheight, just do exercise regularly and ask your doctor to get a healthy diet tips.. but you shouldn't do that to solely impress others...just do that for yourself...

I'm frustrated and deeply concerned that comments appear to be feeding her inaccurate self-image.

Do women come any more attractive than the OP?

Ffs.

(Excuse me. There I go again.)

The reality of life is that "comments" happen all the time but the onus is on us whether we choose to accept or reject them.

Whether women or more or less attractive than the OP I think really isn't the issue, but how we allow ourselves to be fooled by false images and representations.

I sometimes wonder how life would be if we all were blind .... would we base someone's attractiveness on their "smell"? Imagine the money that would be made off of perfumes - oh wait, that's already happening as we distort ourselves to fit some sort of mold of acceptance.

I'm not sure why you are getting so upset as one can only say someone is beautiful so many times, and if they are choosing not to listen, one tends to not say it anymore. The compliment is rejected and discounted as being untrue (when in fact it is not) but that's up to the OP to discover for herself.

I personally think that if its an issue for her that she might think about talking with a professional to explore her thoughts and values of herself and how she's come to this understanding. Part of self discovery is examining ourselves and frankly sometimes we simply have "stinking thinking" that needs to be put in the trash.

That means a lot thanks. I guess a lifetime of insults has taken its toll on me