Polyamory (316)
MADDOG69: Aww Christ..... back to the Therapist. I always though it was a she.....
And no you don't need a therapist..........you just need to relax and watch a few cartoon movies once in a while; you might actually enjoy them!!
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tinyfangs: Think of how we are raised to consume nowadays, Pom_Pom. We are subjected to a lot of manipulation via medias. We are not raised to love ourselves anymore, but raised to feel inadequate to the extreme. From our TV screens, from magazin covers and pages and from billboards - we are smiled at by very symmetric faces, often even photoshopped. The bodies these faces belong to are also always 'perfect' or at least we are being told they are perfect. We are told what is 'in' and what is not, and we chase after trends and the next thing to possess to make us someone within this society.
Never considered how this must affect our relationships as well?
Nothing lasts anymore. We use and throw away. The dress we bought last summer might already be out of fashion this summer, and if not, then the summer afterwards for sure. We are under constant pressure to use and replace. This gets habit, and I wonder whether this is also becoming a habit in our relationships, and from what I have observed, even within my own self, it does seem to take its toll on us.
Polyamour could be argued as a way of finding new thrills. It does not appear to me as soemthing that is meant to last for a life time. I could be wrong, but are we talking lasting romantic relatonships here? Lasting as in anyone who proclaims to be polyamorous wanting to celebrate diamond anniversaries with all those extra loves in the future? Or are these rather short term armours, thrills, to be tasted, enjoyed while they are fun, and then to be replaced with the next armours who promise to provide a high?
Please know I am only trying to understand, trying to see what is happening. I do not wish to attach judgments to it at all, but I am worried, for I feel we are driven towards some cliff, and maybe eventually over it...
Never considered how this must affect our relationships as well?
Nothing lasts anymore. We use and throw away. The dress we bought last summer might already be out of fashion this summer, and if not, then the summer afterwards for sure. We are under constant pressure to use and replace. This gets habit, and I wonder whether this is also becoming a habit in our relationships, and from what I have observed, even within my own self, it does seem to take its toll on us.
Polyamour could be argued as a way of finding new thrills. It does not appear to me as soemthing that is meant to last for a life time. I could be wrong, but are we talking lasting romantic relatonships here? Lasting as in anyone who proclaims to be polyamorous wanting to celebrate diamond anniversaries with all those extra loves in the future? Or are these rather short term armours, thrills, to be tasted, enjoyed while they are fun, and then to be replaced with the next armours who promise to provide a high?
Please know I am only trying to understand, trying to see what is happening. I do not wish to attach judgments to it at all, but I am worried, for I feel we are driven towards some cliff, and maybe eventually over it...
I understand what you mean, but you have to remember that the relationships and marriages from the past lasted longer because divorce was frowned upon. Now things are different an even when many do divorce, at least they get a second chance to find someone else, if that it's their desire.
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StillOfTheNight: Bambi is a boy???
So many wasted nights
So many wasted nights
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MADDOG69: My life's ruined.
Aww you poor thing.
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Glengirl: At last.....I can join in, all the big words are gone
Don't listen to them MD, Bambi is a she....have you ever seen a guy with big doe eyes like that?
Don't listen to them MD, Bambi is a she....have you ever seen a guy with big doe eyes like that?
Of course I have, Simba was a boy, so was his father Mufasa.
All the Disney characters have big eyes.
Well... maybe not Mulan...
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LoriJames20: And no you don't need a therapist..........you just need to relax and watch a few cartoon movies once in a while; you might actually enjoy them!!
Forget about the Roman and the Greeks and watch "The Aristocats"
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LoriJames20: And no you don't need a therapist..........you just need to relax and watch a few cartoon movies once in a while; you might actually enjoy them!!
Tis true! Very therapeutic. Cinderella, Snow White, and so many more are highly recommended. Rapunzel is a personal favourite. Brothers Grimm could be quite grim.
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jac379: I get you and I share your concern about people being hurt, or abused by polyamory, but you're working on the assumption here that all people have the goal of long term relationships and that you can be driven over the cliff without your consent.
You can't force anyone to have a long-term goal in relationships without their consent.
You can't force anyone to have a long-term goal in relationships without their consent.
Fully agree with you, and I am not assuming, but instead I am asking - would we/could we know whether we'd wish for long term relationships if we'd be subject to a manipulation driving us to desire something different? Could it be that manipulation determines what we believe to wish for? And how could we find out? I mean, we are subject to things that are changing our habits, are we not?
But yep it is late, need sleep too
Pom_Pom: I understand what you mean, but you have to remember that the relationships and marriages from the past lasted longer because divorce was frowned upon. Now things are different an even when many do divorce, at least they get a second chance to find someone else, if that it's their desire.
Was that truly the reason why they lasted? How can we know this for certain? We have heard this or read this, or maybe we have looked at it and came to that conclusion, but did people back then not also repair their clothes instead of just throwing them away? We are very used now to just replace and bin, even just because of not liking something anymore, does not even have to be broken. We are raised to use and throw away. Maybe it was because of divorce not being an option, but maybe people were also more used to repairing and working with what they had available? And how can we tell this did not make them happy? Are we happy today?
These are question, not answers I am giving.
Is it not worth pondering how our consumer society might affect our interactions?
Bed
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We have developed into an 'instant' society. Everything from instant mashed potatoes to instant relationships are abounding.
Ever you ever looked into the eyes of an old couple that has been together for many years? They are truly happy - not settled, not there because someone else tells them to be - but truly happy with each other. Why?
They learned through all the lessons of life that having a loving, caring, concerned partner is worth its weight in gold.
All those seeking instant gratification from all their instant things, do not appear to be arriving at that wonderful stage of longevity and love lasting and growing.
My first husband lived with 'shoulds' - you should have a wife, 2.5 children, a car and boat on the driveway and all the money to spend to keep you happy. Never once did he ever consider that having wife and family meant developing relationships. So I have seen first hand what you are all arguing to experience. It just doesn't work! Get used to it - human beings are social animals and truly want the commitment of a loving relationship.
Hopefully you will all find it!
Ever you ever looked into the eyes of an old couple that has been together for many years? They are truly happy - not settled, not there because someone else tells them to be - but truly happy with each other. Why?
They learned through all the lessons of life that having a loving, caring, concerned partner is worth its weight in gold.
All those seeking instant gratification from all their instant things, do not appear to be arriving at that wonderful stage of longevity and love lasting and growing.
My first husband lived with 'shoulds' - you should have a wife, 2.5 children, a car and boat on the driveway and all the money to spend to keep you happy. Never once did he ever consider that having wife and family meant developing relationships. So I have seen first hand what you are all arguing to experience. It just doesn't work! Get used to it - human beings are social animals and truly want the commitment of a loving relationship.
Hopefully you will all find it!
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spiritalk: Ever you ever looked into the eyes of an old couple that has been together for many years? They are truly happy - not settled, not there because someone else tells them to be - but truly happy with each other.
Have you ever looked into the dead eyes of couples who stay together cos of comformity? They are truly miserable. They gave up.
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I still can't believe it . . . . Bambi is really a boy
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spiritalk: We have developed into an 'instant' society. Everything from instant mashed potatoes to instant relationships are abounding.
Ever you ever looked into the eyes of an old couple that has been together for many years? They are truly happy - not settled, not there because someone else tells them to be - but truly happy with each other. Why?
They learned through all the lessons of life that having a loving, caring, concerned partner is worth its weight in gold.
All those seeking instant gratification from all their instant things, do not appear to be arriving at that wonderful stage of longevity and love lasting and growing.
My first husband lived with 'shoulds' - you should have a wife, 2.5 children, a car and boat on the driveway and all the money to spend to keep you happy. Never once did he ever consider that having wife and family meant developing relationships. So I have seen first hand what you are all arguing to experience. It just doesn't work! Get used to it - human beings are social animals and truly want the commitment of a loving relationship.
Hopefully you will all find it!
Ever you ever looked into the eyes of an old couple that has been together for many years? They are truly happy - not settled, not there because someone else tells them to be - but truly happy with each other. Why?
They learned through all the lessons of life that having a loving, caring, concerned partner is worth its weight in gold.
All those seeking instant gratification from all their instant things, do not appear to be arriving at that wonderful stage of longevity and love lasting and growing.
My first husband lived with 'shoulds' - you should have a wife, 2.5 children, a car and boat on the driveway and all the money to spend to keep you happy. Never once did he ever consider that having wife and family meant developing relationships. So I have seen first hand what you are all arguing to experience. It just doesn't work! Get used to it - human beings are social animals and truly want the commitment of a loving relationship.
Hopefully you will all find it!
Some truth there, nice post, but most older folk, or my age, don't look very happy at all when out as a couple. In fact they barely talk to each other!
I first noticed this as as a much younger woman when I went out with boyfriends and later with my ex husband. We swore we would never be like that. We never were thankfully.
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MADDOG69: My life's ruined.
were planning to marry te flipin' bovine???settle down I'm sure he has a sister
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Glengirl: At last.....I can join in, all the big words are gone
Don't listen to them MD, Bambi is a she....have you ever seen a guy with big doe eyes like that?
Don't listen to them MD, Bambi is a she....have you ever seen a guy with big doe eyes like that?
yes actually and quite cute he was too
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So many wasted nights