Crazy little thing called love (45)
No it was not a date one on one persey , but it was time together to what was hopefully a chance to connect more. I asked one friend to come with me , then asked another to be "backup" if the first could not come. This was 2 months ago. They are both friends with each other , and found out i had asked both. Now i did not ask both to come , 1 was to be a backup incase the other couldnt make it. Now The lady in question knew about my feelings , without telling her directly , i am sure i made enough comments and threw enough body language her way for stevie wonder to know what was happening. I was being a gentleman by taking my time and showing the caring side , helpful side etc etc etc!.
And yes , they disappeared long enough for it to be a quicky , neither of them smoked , so it wasnt for a smoke. I have been put in my place by the other friend that " im too old for her" , and " toughen up princess" as i was disgruntled last night , i just now need to move on. I do however enjoy the fact that i felt *love* ( smitten ,butterflies etc etc etc ) as i havent honestly felt like that in 10 years. So i will pick myself up from my feelings , wipe off the dust and continue on the lonely dusty road waiting for that car to stop and pick me up.
It comes down to i was too old , and i dont have "the look" that females want.
And please , no BS about " you look fine " as if i did , i wouldnt be single.. I already have the right stuff inside for someone.
And yes , they disappeared long enough for it to be a quicky , neither of them smoked , so it wasnt for a smoke. I have been put in my place by the other friend that " im too old for her" , and " toughen up princess" as i was disgruntled last night , i just now need to move on. I do however enjoy the fact that i felt *love* ( smitten ,butterflies etc etc etc ) as i havent honestly felt like that in 10 years. So i will pick myself up from my feelings , wipe off the dust and continue on the lonely dusty road waiting for that car to stop and pick me up.
It comes down to i was too old , and i dont have "the look" that females want.
And please , no BS about " you look fine " as if i did , i wouldnt be single.. I already have the right stuff inside for someone.
Lok_Simpson:
And please , no BS about " you look fine " as if i did , i wouldnt be single.. I already have the right stuff inside for someone.
And please , no BS about " you look fine " as if i did , i wouldnt be single.. I already have the right stuff inside for someone.
I keep getting told I'm Ok looking and I'm still single.
It's to do with the whole package....looks, attitude, location, meeting the right person at the right time and both of you feeling the same.
serene56: Yeah well it doesn't scream 'date' or 'romance' does it Cuspy
You got it Serene..
not that my gist was difficult to ascertain.There are not many men,that won't cut lunches.In fact its dam right rude and a testament to what kind of person they are. I'd imagine it will be short lived
AgentAjax: That’s what I thought…strange.
AA
Lok_Simpson: No it was not a date one on one persey , but it was time together to what was hopefully a chance to connect more. I asked one friend to come with me , then asked another to be "backup" if the first could not come. This was 2 months ago. They are both friends with each other , and found out i had asked both. Now i did not ask both to come , 1 was to be a backup incase the other couldnt make it. Now The lady in question knew about my feelings , without telling her directly , i am sure i made enough comments and threw enough body language her way for stevie wonder to know what was happening. I was being a gentleman by taking my time and showing the caring side , helpful side etc etc etc!.
And yes , they disappeared long enough for it to be a quicky , neither of them smoked , so it wasnt for a smoke. I have been put in my place by the other friend that " im too old for her" , and " toughen up princess" as i was disgruntled last night , i just now need to move on. I do however enjoy the fact that i felt *love* ( smitten ,butterflies etc etc etc ) as i havent honestly felt like that in 10 years. So i will pick myself up from my feelings , wipe off the dust and continue on the lonely dusty road waiting for that car to stop and pick me up.
It comes down to i was too old , and i dont have "the look" that females want.
And please , no BS about " you look fine " as if i did , i wouldnt be single.. I already have the right stuff inside for someone.
And yes , they disappeared long enough for it to be a quicky , neither of them smoked , so it wasnt for a smoke. I have been put in my place by the other friend that " im too old for her" , and " toughen up princess" as i was disgruntled last night , i just now need to move on. I do however enjoy the fact that i felt *love* ( smitten ,butterflies etc etc etc ) as i havent honestly felt like that in 10 years. So i will pick myself up from my feelings , wipe off the dust and continue on the lonely dusty road waiting for that car to stop and pick me up.
It comes down to i was too old , and i dont have "the look" that females want.
And please , no BS about " you look fine " as if i did , i wouldnt be single.. I already have the right stuff inside for someone.
Sorry about your situation Mr L
but a lot of peeps out here have never felt that or can't (i dunno) at least you have felt it more than once 
just saying. Hope third time lucky for you 
Lok_Simpson: No it was not a date one on one persey , but it was time together to what was hopefully a chance to connect more. I asked one friend to come with me , then asked another to be "backup" if the first could not come. This was 2 months ago. They are both friends with each other , and found out i had asked both. Now i did not ask both to come , 1 was to be a backup incase the other couldnt make it. Now The lady in question knew about my feelings , without telling her directly , i am sure i made enough comments and threw enough body language her way for stevie wonder to know what was happening. I was being a gentleman by taking my time and showing the caring side , helpful side etc etc etc!.
And yes , they disappeared long enough for it to be a quicky , neither of them smoked , so it wasnt for a smoke. I have been put in my place by the other friend that " im too old for her" , and " toughen up princess" as i was disgruntled last night , i just now need to move on. I do however enjoy the fact that i felt *love* ( smitten ,butterflies etc etc etc ) as i havent honestly felt like that in 10 years. So i will pick myself up from my feelings , wipe off the dust and continue on the lonely dusty road waiting for that car to stop and pick me up.
It comes down to i was too old , and i dont have "the look" that females want.
And please , no BS about " you look fine " as if i did , i wouldnt be single.. I already have the right stuff inside for someone.
And yes , they disappeared long enough for it to be a quicky , neither of them smoked , so it wasnt for a smoke. I have been put in my place by the other friend that " im too old for her" , and " toughen up princess" as i was disgruntled last night , i just now need to move on. I do however enjoy the fact that i felt *love* ( smitten ,butterflies etc etc etc ) as i havent honestly felt like that in 10 years. So i will pick myself up from my feelings , wipe off the dust and continue on the lonely dusty road waiting for that car to stop and pick me up.
It comes down to i was too old , and i dont have "the look" that females want.
And please , no BS about " you look fine " as if i did , i wouldnt be single.. I already have the right stuff inside for someone.
Lok, look for the positives in the situation
You can and still can feel that smitten feeling when the situation is right for you. When it is the right person they will reciprocate the feelings for you
You may have had feeling for this woman but she evidently didnt feel the same and really, doesnt sound like ultimately was the right lady for you. You escaped falling deeper and getting hurt a hell of a lot more.
And...
You do look fine, there will be someone that will see the heart inside and the love that you can and will share with the right person.
Be confident in you, be yourself, dont try to be anyone else. There will be someone that will "get" you and love you for the person you are.
Women find genuine confidence very attractive.
You dont need to put yourself down, there are enough out there who will do that for you.
You are Lok, someone special with a lot to give. Go find the one who will accept you, dont wait for her to come along.
she is 27/28 im 40.
Lok_Simpson: she is 27/28 im 40.
so?
the ex was 13 years older than me, actually we met at about the same age bracket you describe. The relationship lasted 13 years witht eh first 7 of that being very happy together.
The age difference for some is not a huge deal, it depends on both people though
In my experience the age difference became more apparent the older we got.
Lok_Simpson: she is 27/28 im 40.
any sisters
Lok_Simpson: she is 27/28 im 40.
Don’t ever think you are not good enough in all the departments, it’s not for you to judge, make most of what you have. If the other person cannot find in you who you strived to be all your life than it is their loss more than yours. That is one thing I have learnt along the way. Of course this does not help you situation here and now, so you have to weigh few things up.
Despite the fact you and the lady in question were not officially dating the act of trust has been betrayed. Can you deal with that? If you can then go and tell her how you feel, what have you got to lose?
NotABlonde: It's not as if she left him alone, he'd already taken along a back up.
Don’t get me wrong I think he is at fault by taking two females to begin with. BUT she is at fault too especially playing up with his workmate. Hmmm you just don’t do that at a work party to begin with if you have any sort of decency… JMO 
I think it was a friend of his workmate, rather than a workmate.
I'm at a loss as to what kind of party this was, everyone seems to have taken
someone who isn't a romantic partner if she went off with someone elses friends.
No one knows what happened when they went away together, but good luck to them as neither seem to have been attached to anyone else at the time.
I'm at a loss as to what kind of party this was, everyone seems to have taken
someone who isn't a romantic partner if she went off with someone elses friends.
No one knows what happened when they went away together, but good luck to them as neither seem to have been attached to anyone else at the time.
AgentAjax: Don’t get me wrong I think he is at fault by taking two females to begin with. BUT she is at fault too especially playing up with his workmate. Hmmm you just don’t do that at a work party to begin with if you have any sort of decency… JMO
How can she "play up" when she is not in a relationship? she chose to get to know someone else, simple as that, If lok got his nose out of joint then that's his issue, the woman doesn't owe him anything,They were friends or aquaintances not lovers. I bet the girl would be horrified to learn that she's the focus of a thread on CS.
NotABlonde: I think it was a friend of his workmate, rather than a workmate.
I'm at a loss as to what kind of party this was, everyone seems to have taken
someone who isn't a romantic partner if she went off with someone elses friends.
No one knows what happened when they went away together, but good luck to them as neither seem to have been attached to anyone else at the time.
I'm at a loss as to what kind of party this was, everyone seems to have taken
someone who isn't a romantic partner if she went off with someone elses friends.
No one knows what happened when they went away together, but good luck to them as neither seem to have been attached to anyone else at the time.
Exactly
a work function i organized 
.
Maybe (jmo)
Mr Lok might of got caught up with the function that he organized, as in arranging something with more than a few peeps and making sure everyone is having a good time & things are running smoothly etc..
This can take away the focus off things eg: Mr Lok great function, Mr Lok the bar is out of carlton light, Mr Lok where are the loo's, Mr Lok the cigarette machine is not working
Mr Lok do you see who the boss is with, and check out her hidious crocodile skin handbag 
etc.. etc...
A host usually gets a bit of attention, and maybe the young lady did'nt want to crowd Mr Lok and figured out that she needed some attention herself & somebody (other fella) was giving it to her (attention)(not literally giving it to her at that point), as she maybe thought Mr Lok had his back up (other woman)
Hope i made sense
Happy monday 
.Maybe (jmo)
Mr Lok might of got caught up with the function that he organized, as in arranging something with more than a few peeps and making sure everyone is having a good time & things are running smoothly etc.. This can take away the focus off things eg: Mr Lok great function, Mr Lok the bar is out of carlton light, Mr Lok where are the loo's, Mr Lok the cigarette machine is not working
Mr Lok do you see who the boss is with, and check out her hidious crocodile skin handbag etc.. etc... A host usually gets a bit of attention, and maybe the young lady did'nt want to crowd Mr Lok and figured out that she needed some attention herself & somebody (other fella) was giving it to her (attention)(not literally giving it to her at that point), as she maybe thought Mr Lok had his back up (other woman)
Hope i made sense
Happy monday
Lookin4missright: a work function i organized .
Maybe (jmo) Mr Lok might of got caught up with the function that he organized, as in arranging something with more than a few peeps and making sure everyone is having a good time & things are running smoothly etc..
This can take away the focus off things eg: Mr Lok great function, Mr Lok the bar is out of carlton light, Mr Lok where are the loo's, Mr Lok the cigarette machine is not working Mr Lok do you see who the boss is with, and check out her hidious crocodile skin handbag etc.. etc...
A host usually gets a bit of attention, and maybe the young lady did'nt want to crowd Mr Lok and figured out that she needed some attention herself & somebody (other fella) was giving it to her (attention)(not literally giving it to her at that point), as she maybe thought Mr Lok had his back up (other woman) Hope i made sense
Happy monday
Maybe (jmo) Mr Lok might of got caught up with the function that he organized, as in arranging something with more than a few peeps and making sure everyone is having a good time & things are running smoothly etc..
This can take away the focus off things eg: Mr Lok great function, Mr Lok the bar is out of carlton light, Mr Lok where are the loo's, Mr Lok the cigarette machine is not working Mr Lok do you see who the boss is with, and check out her hidious crocodile skin handbag etc.. etc...
A host usually gets a bit of attention, and maybe the young lady did'nt want to crowd Mr Lok and figured out that she needed some attention herself & somebody (other fella) was giving it to her (attention)(not literally giving it to her at that point), as she maybe thought Mr Lok had his back up (other woman) Hope i made sense
Happy monday
Yep, that makes sense!
I know the age thing for me isnt an issue , i have dated a 21 y.o when i was 31 and we BOTH had a blast. BUT she might look at 40 as being old , im not her , i dont know , but i do know that the friendship between is quite good and i was hoping to take it to the next level , but i dont think that will happen. The friendship wall is there and i dont believe she will let it break. Thankyou all for your insights and advice , i managed to get a phonecall for 3 hours the very next morning from a female on the sunshine coast keen to meet , but due to the circumstances of her situation , i cannot take it any further.... Cliff notes for that one: noticed her accent , told her my boss has same accent , worked out she knows my boss , and her ex hubby who i have met is very good friends with boss , so i indirectly know her and the family divorce history. So to not put strain on my working relationship with boss , im declining a possible start with this lady.
It's all well and good to pass the blame onto other people.But my reading of the whole thing the main thing that seems to be forgotten is "that Lok asked to females out to the same do" even if on was a "back up"
So to my way of thinking is revenge is a dish better served cold.
So my be the opportunity presented it self for BAY back.
GMO
So to my way of thinking is revenge is a dish better served cold.
So my be the opportunity presented it self for BAY back.
GMO
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and sadly, your aspirations were not met.. but .. really. apart from leaving your company, you have no control on how , where, what she does..
She did not do anything wrong in my book... she did what she thought a good friend provided... a night out, and a opportunity to go and enjoy herself.. sadly tho.. if you had feelings for her, then you should have made it clear.. and then accepted the answer..
She may have then made the decision to not go... sorry Lok..
Spot on Merri, well said!