How do you handle grief? (35)

My son-in-law recently spent the day with his mother and sister to 'remember' his grandfather's passing. His mother insists on it every year. Nan is not invited. My son-in-law comes away in what my daughter describes as a "very foul mood."

My sister's daughter #3 passed away on the day daughter #2 had her birthday. On the anniversary, she and husband of the time took her children (and later daughter #4) to the cemetry to remember her. Daughter #2 hates her birthday.

There are many ways of dealing with grief. I go into a shell and do not want to talk about. I just want to be left alone with my grief.

On saying that, I did once go and see a councillor regularly over several months. Talking it to someone not personally involved did, after time, make it easier for me to open up about my feelings. And I found it did help in many ways.

My only advice is they should go and see a professional. I have given this same advice to many people dealing with grief of different kinds. Some have gotten back to me and thanked me for at least pointing them in a direction. Others I have not heard from again or not willing to discuss it. There is a stygma about "seeking professional advice."

And I am not a good one to listen to my own advice.

Hmm Nature, you have been through a lot, thanks for sharing that.

well said wash....

My heart breaks for everyone who has had to experience the loss of a child.

Hi Nature, so sorry to hear about all those tragedies befalling you. And Jim, you too. I can't imagine how you get through it.
It's good that you are all sharing your grief experiences with us, your "sort of" friends.
I'm fortunate to not have any real grief experiences to share.
Lookin' good on you for trying to find ways to support your friend.

I see. You heard... are you sure it's the case? But yeah I guess sharing a story of grief could be the pre-cursor to hitting you for money. "For a headstone for the departed" or something?

Hard to tell with scammers. Met a Russian lady many years ago through her daughter playing chess. She and her daughter and husband had been on some sailing boat doing a world tour. He had been one of those people that had built a Viking boat and sailed it through Russia to the Black Sea via a few overland bits.

Wife and daughter could not do the Antartic trip of the latest adventure. Seemed that he wanted adventure more than a family. So they had to move on to AU to wait for them. But many months later, they were stuck in one room doing all the "Maid" work for the "noble family that took them in." Waiting for him to show up.

I had just bought a big house and so offered them half the house if she did the housework. After them being there for many, many months, no word from him. My finances were getting low and needed some income from the big home and eventually pushed them out so I could rent out half the house. She got a position as a housekeeper where she could have her daughter and moved out.

About 2 months, I heard that she had been on Sydney Harbour watching the fireworks on New Years Eve and managed to run into her husband in the crowd (she had not heard from him in over a year, as far as I knew). Last I heard (she called me), she was living in NZ with her husband and she had a very good job.

Some people are scammers. Lots of people are not. Sometimes things just work out.