Stood up 3 hrs before our date ( Archived) (178)

Can you then tell me what is wrong with my personality?
I think I'm totally in my right to be upset when someone cancels his date on such short notice just because he doesn't feel like driving back and forth. He knew from the first moment we talked where I live. He should have never arranged a date with me then. Try putting yourself in my spot.

Can you then tell me what is wrong with my personality?
I think I'm totally in my right to be upset when someone cancels his date on such short notice just because he doesn't feel like driving back and forth. He knew from the first moment we talked where I live. He should have never arranged a date with me then. Try putting yourself in my spot.

I dont see any reason why you are dissapointed about that guy ? He texted you 3 hours before a date and it is ok. Everyone has a right to change his mind. You sound like he left you on a wedding day :-)
Just move on and forget this guy, he was not very interested in you...

Try using the quote button then Jack knows to respond to you

I think you are right, if he had any interest he would have driven through hell and high water, guys do that

Yes, you are right. He wasn't interested in me, I just wish he had decided that before asking me out on a date. And true, I sound upset because I am a very sensitive en hopelessly romantic girl. A little too sensitive for this world I'm afraid. Anyways, it's not the first bad "dating" thing that happens to me. I've had a lot worse. I don't know if there's a thread for "your top 10 worst dating experiences" but I've had quiet a few, which make good stories now. :-)

I didn't say there was anything 'wrong' with your personality, but that your attitude leaves a lot to be desired.

You're quick to call other people selfish, or narcissistic, but your own reaction to being let down was to do with you and your needs, without considering that there is an interaction between two people. Neither did you consider the issue from the man's frame of reference.

He might have let you down for any number of reasons, but you assumed he had negative traits. For example, he might have had something going on that had nothing to do with you, like a loved one in hospital. Maybe, "my mum's in hospital and I don't want to be too far away", or "my mum's in hospital and I'm just too tired", or "my mum's just been rushed into hospital" is the kind of excuse which maybe sounds too lame, even if it's the truth. It could have been vehicle problems, time constraints, workload, whatever.

Alternatively, he might have become unsure about the compatibility between you, but something clicked a few hours before he was supposed to meet you that meant he realised he wouldn't want a second date with you, or things between you were unlikely to be going anywhere. I appreciate that you might think he was obliged to go through with that one date having committed to it, but personally, I'd rather not spend the evening with someone who really didn't want to be there.

From your profile, you take time to talk about yourself with great confidence, but your reaction would suggest a lack of confidence. Do we really need to tell people how attractive, or intelligent we are when surely people can work that out for themselves from our pictures and our communications?

It's strikes me there's an incongruence between what you're saying you are, ie.confident, and what you really are, ie.lacking in confidence. It's okay to lack confidence, but a lack of self-awareness, or a lack of realistic appraisal of yourself might put people off as they see a a very different you emerging.

Again, the reason he didn't come was because he didn't feel driving so long; This I mentioned in several posts. There was nothing wrong with him.

Besides that, you confuse a lack of confidence with being caring and romantic. I do have enough confidence to admit who I am and that includes not liking people who do not know what they want in life.

Personally, I would be more upset if I were a 46 yo woman who writes in her profile that she's an axe-murderer.

I prefer being a real person who actually goes (or tries to go) on real dates and who actually cares about real things that happen in real life.

Yet more assumptions to put others down and project yourself as being better than everyone else? Is that how you perceive being caring towards others?

Confidence and caring is, at least in part, about being able to look beyond the surface of yourself and others with some level of empathy towards, and acceptance of, others. It's about saying what are the possibilities? What's going on with this person? What's going on with me?

Saying you don't like people who don't know what they want in life is not the action of a confident, caring, nor particularly deep thinking person.