Individuality VS The clique ( Archived) (185)

Yes I am influenced somewhat by my girlfriend and would obviously protect her from others if they tried to hurt her feelings or threatened her in anyway, but I am still my own man and she is her own woman.

I would never join a clique and I will always be my own man

So, if meanness, ignorance and stupidity underlines the the mindset of the clique, what underlines the mindset of a group of people who gather together on a forum to judge others who they refer to as belonging to a clique?

Is there not a leader here, and followers?

Nope we are all individuals expressing our own individual views on this subject and nobody is trying to influence anybody

However, I don't see myself as being on anyone's side unless I agree with them of course or feel they are being "hounded" unfairly even though I may not agree with their point of view. It's not easy to be non-judgemental, most of us are at one time or another whether we want to be or not. I guess it's much easier to be so without the benefit of sitting face to face and chatting normally rather than than what we do online with people who are in all reality complete strangers.

You know cliques remind me to much of a childs game. The one thing I find so sad is some people do not seem to out grow them. My grand daughter and I were out to dinner last night and we talked about this. And I told her because of this at my work place I chose to sit at a table alone and eat at break. In between the two groups. I talk to both groups. Yet feel I would rather sit alone than to choose just one. My question to my grand daughter was did she not feel that cliques are something adults should leave in their childhood. Can we not become more understanding of others and differences when we get older. I guess I have decided that cliques are childish and don't belong in an adults life and I like it that way. My decisions are mine usually based upon my own self centeredness, but mine all the same.

In your OP you've defined, described and judged 'cliques' in one particular manner.

A less influential OP would have been to ask what people think a clique is, or to define and describe in two, or more ways to display a balanced perspective.

If you look at the social dynamics of threads there is a tendency for 'tides' of opinion. People have a natural tendency to express their thoughts and feelings when they feel safe to do so: often the tide of the thread will go in one direction, but when someone voices an alternative perspective others feel safe also to express an/the alternative.

By expressing my thoughts and feelings, I might create an alternative perspective. That may influence people, either way, to voice their agreement, disagreement, or something else.

Ultimately, if someone sitting in a room by themselves is joined by another, even if that newcomer is entirely passive the dynamic will change. They will have some kind of influence upon each other, even if that's simply an awareness of each other. Such is human nature.

Now, say if a group of charity fund raisers work together and like to work with each other, could they not be a clique, too? What if they've found if others join them they don't work so well, or the group becomes inefficient, or unwieldy? How would that fit with your description of meanness, ignorance and stupidity?

I wonder if you're describing a particular social dynamic that might be better described without the label of 'clique' and without the negative judgement? You might find the outcome of the dynamic negative, or unpleasant, but might that be to do with the way you're reacting to it? Might you influence yourself by working out why it evokes negative feelings for yourself and so resolve those unpleasant consequences for yourself?

Yes it's easy for some to hide behind a computer screen and pretend to somebody they are not and they will even invent life stories that have no element of truth in them, because they can't get anybody to notice them in the real world.

On here I have the same personality I have in real life and when a subject matter pops into my head I write about it, because I enjoy sharing my thoughts on various subjects with others and I am always welcoming of others individual opinions

You are very wise lady and I agree with everything you just wrote about, because we are all individuals and should never let groups dictate our actions