is being married really that important? ( Archived) (45)

jones41288: I have asked myself this question a lot since i turned 26. I see all of these happily married couples, walking hand and hand, stealing kisses from each other. And i think to myself "wow they look really happy maybe i'll find a girl one day and be happy like that" then by the same token i can't get on a bus without over hearing a couple arguing about god knows what and then i say to myself" damn i don't envy that couple". Now i should note i'm not stupid, i know that in relationships you argue/ fight sometimes, but i don't want to fight all the time. I do not like it when i have to explain myself every time i say something insignificant. I have seen a relationship like that, and i can't for the life of me figure why you would put yourself through that. Honestly if that is love, I want nothing to do with it, why the hell would i put myself through that. I should note that i grew up around my mom, 2 aunts, and a grandmother. All of them worked, All of them are highly opinionated and will not hesitate to tell you their opinion. So my opinion might be a bit biased, but i just don't want a second mother. So at this point i'm sure you are wondering "what the hell is he doing on a dating website? Well i get lonely like everyone else (maybe not as often) and i feel the need for companionship...just not misery...I've also kind of struggled with this since i was a teenager. I can't really see the importance of wanting to be with one person for the rest of my life. Most older people give me the same advice "well you're young when you get old you'll see". But i'm 26 i'm not far from 30 and i still can't see the importance (if any) so i present this question to you people. Is marriage really that important?

jones41288: I have argued with a girlfriend before....actually i had a girlfriend where all we did was argue. it definitely was not fun

PrettyPrescious: They did a study at the University of Washington, and found that they could pretty much predict which marriages would last and which ones would not, based on how the couple interacted. What it came down to, is that a couple needs to treat their spouse with kindness and respect. Seldom putting the other down, or making any kind of negative feedback. The handling of conflicts must be done in a positive way that doesn't tear the other down.I see so many spouses/couples that treat each other poorly!
I think there is another problem today: people often are not committed. Commitment is a choice, it doesn't just "happen". Something our grandparents practiced but we have nearly lost.
So what I look for is a person who is nice and respectful, and who has a sense of commitment (but not "neediness"). I of course also want someone emotionally stable and healthy.