Why is the woman the one that has to relocate? ( Archived) (68)

Charlie2016: What is wrong with men using their passports?

Halv0: You don't actually know why? Well, let's put it into social perspective. In recent history, men were expected to be the "bread winners" (as a matter of fact, many women still expect this now). There is this general expectations of quite a few women, that the man will work hard to provide a plush house, holidays, expensive clothes, flash cars (not just one), etc. So boys grow up having these femine expectations reinforced when they hear their mums whinging and complaining to other women about their husbands.

So men think, "I must provide for my partner" to the level of expectation that she has".

Now if I were to move to a different country, work is not all that easy to come by. My wife is chinese, was a nurse. Even when she finished up her nursing (she is retired, and on a pension - hence why whe wanted to move) she told me that jobs are not easy to come by any more in China.

This is often the economic reality. And I really don't know many women who would be happy living a humble lifestyle in reality. I do know many who say they would, but who have to get their hair done, the nails done, etc. You know, the things that really don't fit in with a humble lifestyle (in western cultures anyway).

So this is one reason. So really if you don't want to move, and he doesn't have the income stream to keep you in your accustomed lifestyle, then I think it really won't work out.

You know, love has to be practical, as well as everything else. And certain realities have to happen.

If you love him, really love him, then I wouldn't think that it would have been a big deal. Sames goes for him of course. But if you are both about yourselves respectively, then of course it is going to be an issue, like many other things will become an issue when he wants to do something and you don't (and visa versa).

So as others have said. Drop the LDR thing. It is not for fairytales, and LDRs have many challenges to overcome. I know having been in one and having married a 'foreign' woman.

But I can say that because we were actually, really in love, none of that stuff really mattered. There have been cultural difference to overcome, let alone the gender differences that transcend country borders and that are universal.

So if it really matters to you in your LDR, then I don't think you're probably ready for a real relationship of this kind anyway.

Stick to locals.JMO.

nomindgames: Many men who have written to me have either on a certain site say willing to relocate. Also there are men I am writing to who are wiling to come to me. A few men asked if I would move where they reside. Personally I am looking to move with or without a man. Just my opinion.