i want to but im so scared (32)
Wow that must be hard for you. But posting this must mean that you want to forgive your family. I think that after loosing some things so cherished in your life, that having family around is the best thing for you. However, if they are not treating you like you deserve (and you sound like a really nice girl) than that is another story I guess... haha I wish I could help more.
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Sam,
I too walked, with anger and righteousness. The hardest part is what you are doing now. I promise you, the worst that is going to happen is your Dad may hang up the phone, the first time anyway.
I promise your fear of what may be said is more than what will be. Trust in the bond that you have developed over your whole life with this man. he may not understand you, but he loves you.
I too walked, with anger and righteousness. The hardest part is what you are doing now. I promise you, the worst that is going to happen is your Dad may hang up the phone, the first time anyway.
I promise your fear of what may be said is more than what will be. Trust in the bond that you have developed over your whole life with this man. he may not understand you, but he loves you.
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Thanks Sam
It's Good to Contemplate Forgiveness
It's Good to Contemplate Forgiveness
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Sam, make the call. No matter how scared or unsure you are, just buck up and do it fast. You'll be glad you did. No matter what, so will they, but not knowing where you are doesn't give them the option. You could always send a card telling them your number and where you are, and leave the calling up to them if it feels "safer" for you. There's lots of ways to do it, but call. Words are little help but I know how you feel. I lost my Dad before my husband and didn't have anyone to run from. Stay in touch and let us know how this works out. We are your friends and we all care. Nancy
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Sam ........fammily is everything
without family we are a ghost persons, nothing!
Have a heart ... call him
without family we are a ghost persons, nothing!
Have a heart ... call him
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Trauma is a hard thing to be forced to deal with. Both for you as the one that has gone through it and for your father as the father of the daughter that has gone through it.
Call your Daddy
Call your Daddy
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Hello Sam,
If I learnt anything from my daughters death is that no one is guarenteed tomorrow. In the past I have had a very strained relationship with my entire family but since Sarah we have learned to never take a day for granted to live each day to the fullest and always tell the people that you love just that...that you love them even if your mad at them...I would rather live a life of a thousand mistakes then to die with just one regret..... i am so sorry that you have had to go through all that you have...I wish you much love and happiness in the future Cathie-...
If I learnt anything from my daughters death is that no one is guarenteed tomorrow. In the past I have had a very strained relationship with my entire family but since Sarah we have learned to never take a day for granted to live each day to the fullest and always tell the people that you love just that...that you love them even if your mad at them...I would rather live a life of a thousand mistakes then to die with just one regret..... i am so sorry that you have had to go through all that you have...I wish you much love and happiness in the future Cathie-...
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I only read this post today....
You started out the thread with the fact that you were in a car accident and it took the life of your beloved fiance...in that split second all your dreams and hopes of a future with this man was gone...because sometimes we are not given the option of making things "right" or telling someone how much we love them before they are taken away from us...
ColdlakePrincess mentioned it...our "tomorrow's are never guaranteed"..not for me, not for you...not for your fiancee...and not for your dad...
Knowing now that each and every day is a gift...do you really want to spend your days hurting over "words"..?
Healing is a sometimes long and slow process...but the journey of a million miles begins with the first step...do what you know is the right thing to do...it will start the healing process...I know...I've been there...
You started out the thread with the fact that you were in a car accident and it took the life of your beloved fiance...in that split second all your dreams and hopes of a future with this man was gone...because sometimes we are not given the option of making things "right" or telling someone how much we love them before they are taken away from us...
ColdlakePrincess mentioned it...our "tomorrow's are never guaranteed"..not for me, not for you...not for your fiancee...and not for your dad...
Knowing now that each and every day is a gift...do you really want to spend your days hurting over "words"..?
Healing is a sometimes long and slow process...but the journey of a million miles begins with the first step...do what you know is the right thing to do...it will start the healing process...I know...I've been there...
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I dropped out of my families site for seven years over a fight. After we made ammends, my dad died a year later, I never got that chance to say "I loved him and appreciated his way of bringing me up". Don't make the same mistake!!!! I still regret never having the chance and it's been over 15 years.
Now I have a rebellious Daughter of my own, and even tho we don't see eye to eye on her way of living and her outlooks on life, we stopped seeing each other, I am still relieved when she call's.
You only have one dad, and one mom, make your ammends, you will never know if tommorrow will be to late, then how will you feel? That car wreck changed your life, how you deal with it will be on you, other people didn't change, look at it from all the different veiws and you'll see it.
Make the call!!!!!!! your CS family isn't wrong, are we gang....
Now I have a rebellious Daughter of my own, and even tho we don't see eye to eye on her way of living and her outlooks on life, we stopped seeing each other, I am still relieved when she call's.
You only have one dad, and one mom, make your ammends, you will never know if tommorrow will be to late, then how will you feel? That car wreck changed your life, how you deal with it will be on you, other people didn't change, look at it from all the different veiws and you'll see it.
Make the call!!!!!!! your CS family isn't wrong, are we gang....
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As you have seen in your short life how life can be taken away from us at any given moment........Life is precious and a gift....In your heart do what feel best for you,leaving no regret.....My heartfelt condolenses for your loss.....
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You come in with your heart on your sleeve
say honest things, stir sympathy through
familiarity without dramatic poor me posing,
make it easy to detach, become a catalyst
for inner dialogue, and you thank ME?!
Sneaky Serendipitous Therapist
ain't unbeknownst Brilliance the Best
Bless YOU Sam! Bless you for seeking!
Brave Girl.
say honest things, stir sympathy through
familiarity without dramatic poor me posing,
make it easy to detach, become a catalyst
for inner dialogue, and you thank ME?!
Sneaky Serendipitous Therapist
ain't unbeknownst Brilliance the Best
Bless YOU Sam! Bless you for seeking!
Brave Girl.
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most if not all you have read here is pretty sound advise....
my only problem with it is what about you....what have you gotton from all this?
and are you seeking some professional help.
in a way this trauma offers you alot of perspective...take them...find them
i lost my "family" and it was a good thing so "family" in the conventional sense is not always all it's cracked up to be...
you said you and your father were very close...so were you and your fiance...
the 2 most important males in your life...when we are in so much pain that our lives have been damaged...the mechanism goes into' protect' in high gear.
we will reject before we are rejected
our conservation instinct gets whacked!!
we wonder who is left inside at all!!
and everything seems circumspect...(or not)
for at least one whole year the grieving process is in full force... slowly it wanes
you are grieving the loss of your lover , your profession. and your father and brother!!
they may not be really gone but for you they were.. forgive yourself first...
do your best to end the "what if's". and "if only"
take your time...be honest/painfully honest with what your priorities are and take steps to meet them...
in such a state ...be gentle with your self...imagine a person who is burned all over, even a breeze will sting let alone a gentle touch...take care and offer yourself the space and the guidance you need to get thru this...
of course we are all here in the peanut gallery to throw our 2bits in whenever you ask!
take care
alex