Blonde Jokes (8)
Feel free to add to this one.
This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification.
The blonde driver looks all around in her purse and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.”
“Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.
The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”
“Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”
This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification.
The blonde driver looks all around in her purse and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.”
“Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.
The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”
“Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”
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Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton ?? Because it said "concentrate".
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Did you hear about the blonde who tried to kill a bird!!! .. She threw it of a cliff!!!
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How does a blond man find his glasses?
He puts in his contacts.
Why can't the blond man see now?
He put on his glasses
He puts in his contacts.
Why can't the blond man see now?
He put on his glasses
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Happy. V.
How do you get a blonde to marry you?? Tell her she's pregnant!
How do you get a blonde to marry you?? Tell her she's pregnant!
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HappyValerie: How does a blond man find his glasses?
He puts in his contacts.
Why can't the blond man see now?
He put on his glasses
He puts in his contacts.
Why can't the blond man see now?
He put on his glasses
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allthegoodnamest: Happy. V.
How do you get a blonde to marry you?? Tell her she's pregnant!
what did the blonde say when the doctor told her she was pregnant?How do you get a blonde to marry you?? Tell her she's pregnant!
Is it mine?
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Created: Jun 2015
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One day this cop pulls over a blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license.
''You cops should get it together" she said, "One day you take away my license and the next day you ask me to show it.''
Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape. The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution. By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ." The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
A girl came skipping home From school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. "Mommy, Mommy," She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,b, c, d, e, f, g!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No, Honey, it's because you're 25."
Q: How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day?
A: She has a tampon behind her ear and can't find her pencil.