Hilarious church bloopers (14)
britishcolumbian: Here they are:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals..
—————————————
The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water.
The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
—————————————
Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
—————————————
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you .
—————————————
Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help .
—————————————
Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
—————————————
For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs .
—————————————
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
—————————————
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
—————————————
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
—————————————
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
—————————————
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
—————————————
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
—————————————
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
—————————————
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
—————————————
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
—————————————
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
—————————————
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
—————————————
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
—————————————
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
—————————————
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
—————————————
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
—————————————
The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday:
” I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals..
—————————————
The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water.
The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
—————————————
Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
—————————————
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you .
—————————————
Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help .
—————————————
Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
—————————————
For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs .
—————————————
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
—————————————
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
—————————————
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
—————————————
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
—————————————
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
—————————————
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
—————————————
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
—————————————
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
—————————————
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
—————————————
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
—————————————
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
—————————————
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
—————————————
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
—————————————
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
—————————————
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
—————————————
The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday:
” I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.
Good ones!
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mykingdomforanam: Good ones!
Hi King Me thinks just what we need to lighten up a bit
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britishcolumbian: Hi King Me thinks just what we need to lighten up a bit
It made me smile Jenny.
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lindsyjones: It made me smile Jenny.
That is just what the doctor ordered Lindsey
Canada has gone into a deepfreeze over a lange part of Canada.
I live in the West and are doing good
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Reasons churches don't ask clown ministries to return:
1. They force people to smile during the 8 am service.
2. It's hard to say with dignity, "The sermon today will be given by Brother Umpa-Doody."
3. Whoopee cushions inevitably appear under pew cushions
4. Sermons take a lot longer when they are in pantomime.
5. Many denominations do not recognizeReasons Churches Don't Ask Clown Ministries to Return seltzer water baptism.
6. Dribble glasses used during the communion service.
7. They have to pay janitors extra to get all of the silly string off the ceiling.
8. The kids pop their balloons during closing prayer.
1. They force people to smile during the 8 am service.
2. It's hard to say with dignity, "The sermon today will be given by Brother Umpa-Doody."
3. Whoopee cushions inevitably appear under pew cushions
4. Sermons take a lot longer when they are in pantomime.
5. Many denominations do not recognizeReasons Churches Don't Ask Clown Ministries to Return seltzer water baptism.
6. Dribble glasses used during the communion service.
7. They have to pay janitors extra to get all of the silly string off the ceiling.
8. The kids pop their balloons during closing prayer.
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KarloradoFL: Reasons churches don't ask clown ministries to return:
1. They force people to smile during the 8 am service.
2. It's hard to say with dignity, "The sermon today will be given by Brother Umpa-Doody."
3. Whoopee cushions inevitably appear under pew cushions
4. Sermons take a lot longer when they are in pantomime.
5. Many denominations do not recognizeReasons Churches Don't Ask Clown Ministries to Return seltzer water baptism.
6. Dribble glasses used during the communion service.
7. They have to pay janitors extra to get all of the silly string off the ceiling.
8. The kids pop their balloons during closing prayer.
1. They force people to smile during the 8 am service.
2. It's hard to say with dignity, "The sermon today will be given by Brother Umpa-Doody."
3. Whoopee cushions inevitably appear under pew cushions
4. Sermons take a lot longer when they are in pantomime.
5. Many denominations do not recognizeReasons Churches Don't Ask Clown Ministries to Return seltzer water baptism.
6. Dribble glasses used during the communion service.
7. They have to pay janitors extra to get all of the silly string off the ceiling.
8. The kids pop their balloons during closing prayer.
Did you make these up yourself?Jenny
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britishcolumbian: Did you make these up yourself?
Jenny
Jenny
No but I did go to a Church where the Minister was a circus clown, magician, fire eater, and juggler when he was younger.
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KarloradoFL: No but I did go to a Church where the Minister was a circus clown, magician, fire eater, and juggler when he was younger.
Lol Sounds like a fun church
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Brilliant Jenny....so funny
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Hi Deedee going through my Documents I found them and they still made me laugh so decided to send them
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ok ok ... it's 2017 ... no more candles it's a OH&S thing 
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Lookin4missright: ok ok ... it's 2017 ... no more candles it's a OH&S thing
KRIST!! Sorry about the big pic
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Lookin4missright: KRIST!! Sorry about the big pic
ALol after affects of the party all is good
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Created: Dec 2017
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Related Forums
- The weird and the random facts around the world
- who shaped your life?
- See It All The Time
- What happened to CS while i was away.. (Long time)
- biggest lie
- Democrats destroyed America
- One week of the most outrageous GOP leadership!
- Are the ads on here as phony as some of the profiles?
- Who will be The Last Person To Post... VERSION FOUR
- your favorite topic?
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals..
—————————————
The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water.
The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
—————————————
Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
—————————————
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you .
—————————————
Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help .
—————————————
Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
—————————————
For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs .
—————————————
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
—————————————
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
—————————————
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
—————————————
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
—————————————
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
—————————————
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
—————————————
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
—————————————
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
—————————————
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
—————————————
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
—————————————
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
—————————————
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
—————————————
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
—————————————
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
—————————————
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
—————————————
The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday:
” I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.