Daily Chuckle ... ( Archived) (3,607)

Jun 28, 2020 8:41 PM CST Daily Chuckle ...
KarloradoFL
KarloradoFLKarloradoFLDeLeon Springs, Florida USA50 Threads 3 Polls 9,475 Posts
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Jun 28, 2020 8:43 PM CST Daily Chuckle ...
KarloradoFL
KarloradoFLKarloradoFLDeLeon Springs, Florida USA50 Threads 3 Polls 9,475 Posts
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Jun 28, 2020 8:49 PM CST Daily Chuckle ...
KarloradoFL
KarloradoFLKarloradoFLDeLeon Springs, Florida USA50 Threads 3 Polls 9,475 Posts
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Jun 28, 2020 8:55 PM CST Daily Chuckle ...
KarloradoFL
KarloradoFLKarloradoFLDeLeon Springs, Florida USA50 Threads 3 Polls 9,475 Posts
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Jul 1, 2020 2:30 AM CST Daily Chuckle ...
KarloradoFL
KarloradoFLKarloradoFLDeLeon Springs, Florida USA50 Threads 3 Polls 9,475 Posts
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Jul 1, 2020 2:49 PM CST Daily Chuckle ...
galrads
galradsgalradsDublin, Ohio USA2,264 Threads 279 Polls 36,283 Posts
UP

This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as an , , , or .


It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.


At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UPtrouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.


To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.


And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UPat night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!


To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.


If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.


When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, the earth soaks it UP. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now . . . my time is UP!


Oh . . . one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?


UP !


Did that one crack you UP?

Don't screw UP. Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book . . . or not . . . it's UP to you.

Now I'll shut UP!
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Jul 1, 2020 11:53 PM CST Daily Chuckle ...
GeneralBeacon
GeneralBeaconGeneralBeaconNew York, USA2,381 Posts
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Jul 1, 2020 11:57 PM CST Daily Chuckle ...
GeneralBeacon
GeneralBeaconGeneralBeaconNew York, USA2,381 Posts
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Jul 2, 2020 12:02 AM CST Daily Chuckle ...
GeneralBeacon
GeneralBeaconGeneralBeaconNew York, USA2,381 Posts
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Jul 3, 2020 5:51 PM CST Daily Chuckle ...
galrads
galradsgalradsDublin, Ohio USA2,264 Threads 279 Polls 36,283 Posts
^^^^^^^ laugh thumbs up


Quote from a pensioner 'As I'd done many times before. After I applied my lipstick
and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper
good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the
toilet paper good-bye....
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Jul 4, 2020 6:51 AM CST Daily Chuckle ...
KarloradoFL
KarloradoFLKarloradoFLDeLeon Springs, Florida USA50 Threads 3 Polls 9,475 Posts
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Jul 4, 2020 9:25 AM CST Daily Chuckle ...
An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and began to redesign and build improvements.
After a while, they had toilets that flushed, air conditioning, and escalators. Everyone grew very fond of him. One day God called to Satan to mock him, "So, how's it going down there in Hell?"
Satan replied, "Hey, things are great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God was surprised, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake. He should never have gotten down there in the first place. Send him back up here." "No way," replied Satan. "I like having an engineer, and I'm keeping him."
God threatened, "Send him back up here now or I'll sue!"
Satan laughed and answered, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
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Jul 4, 2020 9:28 AM CST Daily Chuckle ...
mikey4691
mikey4691mikey4691Knoxville, Tennessee USA8 Threads 6,868 Posts
Conrad73: An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and began to redesign and build improvements.
After a while, they had toilets that flushed, air conditioning, and escalators. Everyone grew very fond of him. One day God called to Satan to mock him, "So, how's it going down there in Hell?"
Satan replied, "Hey, things are great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God was surprised, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake. He should never have gotten down there in the first place. Send him back up here." "No way," replied Satan. "I like having an engineer, and I'm keeping him."
God threatened, "Send him back up here now or I'll sue!"
Satan laughed and answered, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
laugh
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Jul 4, 2020 6:08 PM CST Daily Chuckle ...
Inthewoods
InthewoodsInthewoodsColorado Springs, Colorado USA9,896 Posts
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Jul 4, 2020 6:38 PM CST Daily Chuckle ...
galrads
galradsgalradsDublin, Ohio USA2,264 Threads 279 Polls 36,283 Posts
Conrad73: An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and began to redesign and build improvements.
After a while, they had toilets that flushed, air conditioning, and escalators. Everyone grew very fond of him. One day God called to Satan to mock him, "So, how's it going down there in Hell?"
Satan replied, "Hey, things are great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God was surprised, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake. He should never have gotten down there in the first place. Send him back up here." "No way," replied Satan. "I like having an engineer, and I'm keeping him."
God threatened, "Send him back up here now or I'll sue!"
Satan laughed and answered, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
rolling on the floor laughing
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Jul 4, 2020 9:31 PM CST Daily Chuckle ...
GeneralBeacon
GeneralBeaconGeneralBeaconNew York, USA2,381 Posts
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Jul 4, 2020 9:38 PM CST Daily Chuckle ...
GeneralBeacon
GeneralBeaconGeneralBeaconNew York, USA2,381 Posts
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Jul 4, 2020 9:43 PM CST Daily Chuckle ...
GeneralBeacon
GeneralBeaconGeneralBeaconNew York, USA2,381 Posts
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Jul 4, 2020 9:50 PM CST Daily Chuckle ...
GeneralBeacon
GeneralBeaconGeneralBeaconNew York, USA2,381 Posts
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Jul 4, 2020 10:01 PM CST Daily Chuckle ...
GeneralBeacon
GeneralBeaconGeneralBeaconNew York, USA2,381 Posts
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