Where Does That Leave You?? ( Archived) (34)

I know i've talked about dating people with/without children...but this is one part of it i'd like to address separately...

When i read profiles...I am amazed at the amount of parents that put on there that their children are the most important thing to them, and that they take priority....

If one is a parent themself, they will know that goes without saying...or so i assumed...but the wording itself always throws me off...do they mean to imply that whoever chooses to be part of their life needs to understand from the get go that they will ALWAYS take second place in their life???

Though the fact may be that your children will always take priority..is it necessary to say so in your profile??

I wondered that too. I am dating a man who is devoted to his children. We talked about it for awhile. He said you would be amazed of how many woman who lost interest in him because he couldn't just go out whenever he felt like it. Some people apparently feel like if you are dating them, you should put your kids aside as much as possible while you persue the relationship. I don't think so. No, I am not 2nd best but I know the kids come first and I get time around them.

Good point. One can assume that one would be somewhere on the other's list. Maybe not at the top or the front page but if it is like a set of enclopedias one could find it in the index.

I would have thought from my own experiences, if you truly love the person you are with, then you would love the children equally, since those children are also part of them (genetically speaking)?

I have kids and they don't live with me , but they are important to me. I talk with them everyday even know I don't live with them , at least they know that I am there for them when they need me. It's hard to , after 15 years but they understand. Thats why I stayed in marriage for so long for the sake of my kids. This way they were older and would understand..

I don't worry about it. I won't date a man who has minor children who are living with him.

Why is that, just curious.

well i wouldnt date a man that has no kids .......

I don't know if it's necessary, but as a single man with no children I can honestly say that it doesn't bother me to see it there.

The sad truth is we are not all the same, and not everyone loves their children. When I am dating a woman with children, I watch how she treats them, I listen too how she speaks of them, and I make myself aware of where they stand in her priorities. It is my opinion that no woman will ever love me more than her children. Therefore her treatment of them, is the best that I can hope for regarding her treatment of me, over the long term. If she treats me better than them, I know that it is only because I have the ability to walk away. Our interactions will degenerate to at least the level of her children, as soon as she feels she can get away with it, or she feels she can more easily get what she wants somewhere else.

Given the rather dark nature of that last paragraph, it seems worth mentioning, I think most people love their children very much, and do their best to raise them well.