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Should we tell people what we REALLY think? (47)

Jun 30, 2020 5:56 AM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
bodleing2online today!
bodleing2online today!bodleing2Manchester, Greater Manchester, England UK39 Threads 3,573 Posts
Tulefell: They say that a truth told with bad intentions is worse, than a lie told with good intentions. I agree with it.

Ask yourself about your intentions. If they are good, you'll find the right way and the right words to tell your mind without hurting the counterpart.
thumbs up
Jun 30, 2020 2:15 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
It depends if that person can handle the truth
and what type of position it would put y’all in
and who will it benefit from it
Jun 30, 2020 4:58 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
Happygolucky4u
Happygolucky4uHappygolucky4uTreasure Coast, Florida USA27 Threads 3 Polls 7,518 Posts
Lasagna: I'm torn between speaking my mind to a person and just say nothing.
Not sure how it could be taken by that person.
Do you think one should speak with total honesty even when the consecuence of that would be the end of all communication with that person?

Serious replies only, thank you.
What she said grin

Tulefell: They say that a truth told with bad intentions is worse, than a lie told with good intentions. I agree with it.

Ask yourself about your intentions. If they are good, you'll find the right way and the right words to tell your mind without hurting the counterpart.
Jun 30, 2020 5:25 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
should tell the truth, as we can only be responsible for our own activities, in same way others are/should be responsible for theirs.
I've often found it hard to hear others respond cognitively when my opinion differs from theirs.
Take the current world wide common flu that's been given flesh-eating sounding label and is been used in a world wide trade war by (so called) leaders of nations (servants of the people) on both sides of the trade-war divide talking bullshit, lying / not telling the truth.
Whereas I say oh its all bullshit, respondents holding different opinions haven't been guarding their mind and so believe every single word they have been listening to.
They cannot even see the organized winding down of the line of crap broadcast across the glob because they believed what they were listening to and I say it all been a load of crap, cause people die of the flu, in America alone last year 60,100 people died from the flu and 23 million Americans presented to hospitals with the flu.

Here in Australia they (like in America) had been dishing out flu injections, 2018 flu season the vaccination injection contained five variants of flu and 124 people are known to have died after having the injection.

That's what i believe and believe me my motivation is lot better than some,,,
Jul 1, 2020 2:26 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
Lasagna
LasagnaLasagnaBuenos Aires, Argentina11 Threads 298 Posts
galrads: Unless it involves your feelings, If the person can live without knowing what you feel reserved about mentioning to them and you value your relationship with them, why say anything?
Actually it involves the feelings of a third person. My point is to make sure that what happened to the third person doesn't happen again.
Jul 1, 2020 2:28 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
Lasagna
LasagnaLasagnaBuenos Aires, Argentina11 Threads 298 Posts
Cranky_Geezer: It all depends on the importance of the subject both to you and the other party. Is it important enough to you to chance ending the communication/friendship? Only you can make that judgement.
Well, I wouldn't want our friendship to be based on my ability to look the other way when things are wrong.
Jul 1, 2020 2:31 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
Lasagna
LasagnaLasagnaBuenos Aires, Argentina11 Threads 298 Posts
MetaMaus: From my recent own experience, speak your mind
I'll be kicking myself for the rest of my living days because I didn't or waited to do so.
Exactly, I don't wanna be ''that" person who waits years before saying something and then it just blows up like Coke and mothballs.
teddybear
Jul 1, 2020 2:34 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
Lasagna
LasagnaLasagnaBuenos Aires, Argentina11 Threads 298 Posts
Mercedes_00: For me definitely..I prefer verbal rather than typed words..I can't stand a bull shit artist who will agree with everything or be nice all the time then when that person does get all shitty that person will spill it's shit.

I'm allergic to pretenders.
The person in question is extremely complicated but tries to help people. In my opinion is doing more damage than actually helping, I wanna be honest without tearing the person apart.
Jul 1, 2020 2:35 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
Lasagna
LasagnaLasagnaBuenos Aires, Argentina11 Threads 298 Posts
GeneralBeacon: Doggie style is very popular in Serbia I hear.
What is THAT got to do with my original question? confused
Jul 1, 2020 2:41 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
Lasagna
LasagnaLasagnaBuenos Aires, Argentina11 Threads 298 Posts
HexagonKeySet: Do whatever you wish - so long as you are willing to accept the consequences of your own actions.

What that means is that YOU must accept the responsibility for the outcome and DO NOT TRY TO BLAME the other person if they respond harshly towards you !

It's not exactly rocket science ~
It's a risk I'm willing to take, perhaps our friendship needs to be sacrificed for the good of others.
Jul 1, 2020 2:43 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
Lasagna
LasagnaLasagnaBuenos Aires, Argentina11 Threads 298 Posts
lookn2share: Lasagna: In a respectful, civil manner. Some deserve a good telling off!
Chosing the right words can be difficult sometimes. I don't aim to hurt, only to speak truth.
Jul 1, 2020 2:46 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
Lasagna
LasagnaLasagnaBuenos Aires, Argentina11 Threads 298 Posts
rainbowsandstars: In all kinds of relationships good communication is needed if you fear loosing someone over speaking honestly maybe they are not the right person for you. I always try to be honest with someone and if they don’t like it or listen to what you are saying then it’s time to walk away.
I was thinking the same thing. However I don't wanna drop a bomb and then run away.
Jul 1, 2020 2:48 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
Lasagna
LasagnaLasagnaBuenos Aires, Argentina11 Threads 298 Posts
PeKaatje: not saying what you really think is like lying.
Tell me the truth, the truth mothafacka.
In my experience telling the truth all the time more often than not lives one isolated from other human beings.
Jul 1, 2020 2:50 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
Lasagna
LasagnaLasagnaBuenos Aires, Argentina11 Threads 298 Posts
secretagent09: Recently, in a moment of anger, someone told me what was on their mind. It wasn't pleasant for me and I was hurt by their words. I haven't heard from that person since that day. I have tried to contact them but to no avail. I don't think they gave any thought to how badly their words would have an affect on me.

Someone in my family never filters anything she says and has said some hurtful things to me. I always let it go. Mainly because I don't like to argue with anyone but more so because if I said what I was thinking the consequence would be worse than what they said. So I pay the price and live with it.

Retaliation is only good for the moment. When you think about what you did you might be regretful.

In the forums when someone goes out of their way to insult me I take it with a grain of salt. It doesn't bother me because I don't know the poster personally.

I don't think you always need to say what you are thinking. Put those thoughts in a file cabinet in the back of your brain and let it stay there until the desire to speak up fades away.
Hopefully my words are clear enough and not hurtful as to help that person see what I mean without causing hard feelings.
Jul 1, 2020 2:55 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
Lasagna
LasagnaLasagnaBuenos Aires, Argentina11 Threads 298 Posts
Packersbabe1: It depends if that person can handle the truth
and what type of position it would put y’all in
and who will it benefit from it
That made me giggle giggle as it remind me of that movie with Jack Nicholson, and the famous "you can't handle the truth!" line laugh It's risky business as I know this individual to be quite difficult and stubborn. sigh
Jul 1, 2020 3:05 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
Lasagna
LasagnaLasagnaBuenos Aires, Argentina11 Threads 298 Posts
robplum: should tell the truth, as we can only be responsible for our own activities, in same way others are/should be responsible for theirs.
I've often found it hard to hear others respond cognitively when my opinion differs from theirs.
Take the current world wide common flu that's been given flesh-eating sounding label and is been used in a world wide trade war by (so called) leaders of nations (servants of the people) on both sides of the trade-war divide talking bullshit, lying / not telling the truth.
Whereas I say oh its all bullshit, respondents holding different opinions haven't been guarding their mind and so believe every single word they have been listening to.
They cannot even see the organized winding down of the line of crap broadcast across the glob because they believed what they were listening to and I say it all been a load of crap, cause people die of the flu, in America alone last year 60,100 people died from the flu and 23 million Americans presented to hospitals with the flu.

Here in Australia they (like in America) had been dishing out flu injections, 2018 flu season the vaccination injection contained five variants of flu and 124 people are known to have died after having the injection.

That's what i believe and believe me my motivation is lot better than some,,,
I know what you mean, often times pride takes over and people close their ears. However I hope my words are loving and the message gets through. wine

Definitely something fishy going on there, lots of conflicting data on the so called age of information.
In my country a more "strict" form of lockdown has been imposed until July 17th. Harsh controls on trains, buses and subways, only essential workers are allowed out. Many stores closing down, lots of unemployment.

Unfortunately if the so called disease doesn't kill you, the economical crisis will. sigh
Jul 1, 2020 3:06 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
Lasagna
LasagnaLasagnaBuenos Aires, Argentina11 Threads 298 Posts
GeneralBeacon: She really must be from Sweden.
Who? What are you talking about? confused
Jul 1, 2020 3:11 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
Lasagna: Well, I wouldn't want our friendship to be based on my ability to look the other way when things are wrong.
First off, what I posted doesn't imply you always look away when things are wrong. You judge whether or not to open your mouth based on how important it is. Second, it sounds like you've already made up your mind, why ask?

Third, based on your responses it sounds like your inserting yourself into a situation with between two friends. Is that true?
Jul 1, 2020 3:13 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
Lasagna
LasagnaLasagnaBuenos Aires, Argentina11 Threads 298 Posts
Tulefell: They say that a truth told with bad intentions is worse, than a lie told with good intentions. I agree with it. Ask yourself about your intentions. If they are good, you'll find the right way and the right words to tell your mind without hurting the counterpart.
I see @Bodleign2 and @Happygolucky4u agreed with this post by @Tulefell

I hear ya and I agree to a certain extent. I guess we can never know for sure how someone will react to what we have to say, even when done with the best intention at heart. Since what I have to say involves the well being of a third party, I will have to take that step and hope for the best.
Jul 1, 2020 3:22 PM CST Should we tell people what we REALLY think?
Lasagna
LasagnaLasagnaBuenos Aires, Argentina11 Threads 298 Posts
Cranky_Geezer: First off, what I posted doesn't imply you always look away when things are wrong. You judge whether or not to open your mouth based on how important it is. Second, it sounds like you've already made up your mind, why ask?

Third, based on your responses it sounds like your inserting yourself into a situation with between two friends. Is that true?
The answers here were quite helpful and no I have not made up my mind completely as of YET.
But I do need to come to a conclusion by friday morning.
Not really, they are not friends per say, one tries to help the other, (its sort of their calling) but failed miserably without even realizing how their help made the other worse. Sometimes good intentions are not enough.
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