frequency of e-mails ( Archived) (21)

For those of us trying to find someone here, how frequently do you think you should write someone to show that you are interested? And vice versa. Reason I ask is I've gotten messages from people, say they like the profile, are interested in knowing more, yada yada yada, so I write back, and maybe four or five days will go by without hearing from them again. Seems to me to really get to know someone, which is my goal, it's going to take more than one or two messages a week to accomplish that. I'm at the computer probably far too often, including at work, and maybe some people don't have that access, but, what are some thoughts out there about what we should expect?

Good approach~~

I don't chase anyone~~~I'm soooo past it. And......actually, at this time, I'm here just for the entertainment value

Not that I'd know really, but I think it might be more about how you tell them you are interested, or what it is about them that you like or something like that. Anyone who was polite would write you back fairly soon, say a day or so, unless they have a valid reason like they are on vacation or something. Generally if a woman doesn't write back then she is not interested in what you are offering or saying. Like I said I am no expert.

I "as a woman" send a flower saying that I like their profle and I like it or just compliment the person and if that person gets back to me, I like it and then if i don't hear from them back , I scrap it. JMO

Sometimes, I'm sure, one email is enough to realize that this person is not what you're looking for. (Views totally clash, etc)

Secondly, correspondence is, essentially, a conversation. If I do write back, and I get a reply back with no further questions, I just assume the person is not interested (since he doesn't want to find out more), and then I just don't bother anymore. It's up to the man to show his interest properly, and if he doesn't want to, I'm not going to chase anyone. (so all the "passive" ones, "I never make the first move" ones, "I've been burned enough times" ones etc are automatically out)

It depends on the email..I honestly try to answer as many as I can but tend to get busy with work and then sometimes just want be browse the forums to vege out after surgery..
I will not answer emails that simply contain very short lines like 'how are u?' ... they just annoy me.

Hi Chimike..!!

I think one has to bear in mind that not everyone has the same amount of free time with which to spend on the computer. So a little lee-way may be needed, but only to an extent. I have found some mails become rather sporadic after a period of time and, whilst it may be down to a busy life-style, with some I have had replies to MY e-mails and yet no instigation with the communication on their part. I take from that they are simply being polite in replying to me but the interest is not necessarily there.

There are, of course, instances whereby their lack of enthusiasm in keeping the lines of communication open may denote a serious lack of interest and one is just being humoured or it serves to be an ego-boost on their part.

And, in my experience, it has become clear that there are those (regardless of what they claim) very much in a relationship, therefore, not having ready access to the computer for communicating with others.

I personally, attempt at inter-action with others but if it becomes clear it is not reciprocated in the same manner, I simply don't bother.... rather than embarrass myself.