CO-DEPENDENCY ...... (42)
smoky: When two half completed people meet up and make a complete circle. As opposed to two complete people joining together to make a delightful partnership.
One sucks the Energy they need from the other. And One vies for Dominance.
What do you all think of this "theory"?
Maybe I was in one of these.One sucks the Energy they need from the other. And One vies for Dominance.
What do you all think of this "theory"?
I thought it was a power struggle.
I had to get out. He kept winning.
breezee: Maybe I was in one of these.
I thought it was a power struggle.
I had to get out. He kept winning.
I thought it was a power struggle.
I had to get out. He kept winning.
A power struggle? ..... sounds like someone needed something you had? Did you need something?
smoky: A power struggle? ..... sounds like someone needed something you had? Did you need something?
Yeah.... Both needed something.But by the end of 3 yrs we both needed a bullet in the head!!
breezee: Yeah.... Both needed something.
But by the end of 3 yrs we both needed a bullet in the head!!
But by the end of 3 yrs we both needed a bullet in the head!!
... And you are a lady who laughs when things go wrong .......?... to cover up deep hurts? .... You think you not a complete person ... because of past experiences. But one day a complete person will arrive to compliment all the good and complete things in you.
(thats my Witch emoticon)
smoky: WOW Conrad ... now that is just so perfectly put! Thank you for taking the time and effort to post that most enlightening post. Brilliant!
It still needs the two "half circles" to meet up .... the Controller (half) and the Dependent one (half) .... and its a recipe for disaster. Both are "needy" of something.
Wish I had written it,but it sums up my "Feelings" and Thoughts on the matter.It still needs the two "half circles" to meet up .... the Controller (half) and the Dependent one (half) .... and its a recipe for disaster. Both are "needy" of something.
smoky: ... And you are a lady who laughs when things go wrong .......?... to cover up deep hurts? .... You think you not a complete person ... because of past experiences. But one day a complete person will arrive to compliment all the good and complete things in you. (thats my Witch emoticon)
CONTINUED
Questionnaire To Identify Signs Of Co-dependency
This condition appears to run in different degrees, whereby the intensity of symptoms are on a spectrum of severity, as opposed to an all or nothing scale. Please note that only a qualified professional can make a diagnosis of co-dependency; not everyone experiencing these symptoms suffers from co-dependency.
1. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?
2. Are you always worried about others’ opinions of you?
3. Have you ever lived with someone with an alcohol or drug problem?
4. Have you ever lived with someone who hits or belittles you?
5. Are the opinions of others more important than your own?
6. Do you have difficulty adjusting to changes at work or home?
7. Do you feel rejected when significant others spend time with friends?
8. Do you doubt your ability to be who you want to be?
9. Are you uncomfortable expressing your true feelings to others?
10. Have you ever felt inadequate?
11. Do you feel like a “bad person” when you make a mistake?
12. Do you have difficulty taking compliments or gifts?
13. Do you feel humiliation when your child or spouse makes a mistake?
14. Do you think people in your life would go downhill without your constant efforts?
15. Do you frequently wish someone could help you get things done?
16. Do you have difficulty talking to people in authority, such as the police or your boss?
17. Are you confused about who you are or where you are going with your life?
18. Do you have trouble saying “no” when asked for help?
19. Do you have trouble asking for help?
20. Do you have so many things going at once that you can’t do justice to any of them?
If you identify with several of these symptoms; are dissatisfied with yourself or your relationships; you should consider seeking professional help. Arrange for a diagnostic evaluation with a licensed physician or psychologist experienced in treating co-dependency.
Questionnaire To Identify Signs Of Co-dependency
This condition appears to run in different degrees, whereby the intensity of symptoms are on a spectrum of severity, as opposed to an all or nothing scale. Please note that only a qualified professional can make a diagnosis of co-dependency; not everyone experiencing these symptoms suffers from co-dependency.
1. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?
2. Are you always worried about others’ opinions of you?
3. Have you ever lived with someone with an alcohol or drug problem?
4. Have you ever lived with someone who hits or belittles you?
5. Are the opinions of others more important than your own?
6. Do you have difficulty adjusting to changes at work or home?
7. Do you feel rejected when significant others spend time with friends?
8. Do you doubt your ability to be who you want to be?
9. Are you uncomfortable expressing your true feelings to others?
10. Have you ever felt inadequate?
11. Do you feel like a “bad person” when you make a mistake?
12. Do you have difficulty taking compliments or gifts?
13. Do you feel humiliation when your child or spouse makes a mistake?
14. Do you think people in your life would go downhill without your constant efforts?
15. Do you frequently wish someone could help you get things done?
16. Do you have difficulty talking to people in authority, such as the police or your boss?
17. Are you confused about who you are or where you are going with your life?
18. Do you have trouble saying “no” when asked for help?
19. Do you have trouble asking for help?
20. Do you have so many things going at once that you can’t do justice to any of them?
If you identify with several of these symptoms; are dissatisfied with yourself or your relationships; you should consider seeking professional help. Arrange for a diagnostic evaluation with a licensed physician or psychologist experienced in treating co-dependency.
smoky: When two half completed people meet up and make a complete circle. As opposed to two complete people joining together to make a delightful partnership.
One sucks the Energy they need from the other. And One vies for Dominance.
What do you all think of this "theory"?
One sucks the Energy they need from the other. And One vies for Dominance.
What do you all think of this "theory"?
Two complete people have no need to vie for dominance!
smoky: okay, this one is rather "off-beat" and deals mainly with dependents of alcoholics.
What I have experienced and seen is the one most prevalent in ordinary marriages .. where you get, I think it is, 4 different scenarios enacted .....
One is the Controller, or the Interrogator
and they are usually partnered by the ...
"Oh woe is me", or the "Aloof" one.
And one of them has to run the show, and dominate. The other one completes their "half circle". And they both need the half they dont have, so competition begins.... and there is no Harmony in the relationship.
The next Article deals with the Problem on a somewhat broader BaseWhat I have experienced and seen is the one most prevalent in ordinary marriages .. where you get, I think it is, 4 different scenarios enacted .....
One is the Controller, or the Interrogator
and they are usually partnered by the ...
"Oh woe is me", or the "Aloof" one.
And one of them has to run the show, and dominate. The other one completes their "half circle". And they both need the half they dont have, so competition begins.... and there is no Harmony in the relationship.
I do agree with this definition to some extent.
But generally, don't you think that supposedly complete, normal, sane people are capable of displaying all or many of the negative tendencies mentioned in the thread with no real threat to the relationship? Isn't that often just difference of opinion and the power struggle to win your corner?
You will see this behaviour in young children - we all want to convince another that our opinion/view is the right one and we will fight for it if we believe we are right. That's human nature.
Why are some people only half complete anyway? Why can't two 'incomplete' people equalise?
But generally, don't you think that supposedly complete, normal, sane people are capable of displaying all or many of the negative tendencies mentioned in the thread with no real threat to the relationship? Isn't that often just difference of opinion and the power struggle to win your corner?
You will see this behaviour in young children - we all want to convince another that our opinion/view is the right one and we will fight for it if we believe we are right. That's human nature.
Why are some people only half complete anyway? Why can't two 'incomplete' people equalise?
Conrad,an awesome piece of work,well done,very enlightening. I,m sure that I,and maybe others,have demonstrated at least some of the aforementioned symptons at some time in our past lives. However,I,m not quite ready for the trick cyclists couch just yet. It,s nice to an emotional/psychologlical map of human behaviour sometimes just to keep ourselves on track. Excellent.
Jan1305: I do agree with this definition to some extent.
But generally, don't you think that supposedly complete, normal, sane people are capable of displaying all or many of the negative tendencies mentioned in the thread with no real threat to the relationship? Isn't that often just difference of opinion and the power struggle to win your corner?
You will see this behaviour in young children - we all want to convince another that our opinion/view is the right one and we will fight for it if we believe we are right. That's human nature.
Why are some people only half complete anyway? Why can't two 'incomplete' people equalise?
But generally, don't you think that supposedly complete, normal, sane people are capable of displaying all or many of the negative tendencies mentioned in the thread with no real threat to the relationship? Isn't that often just difference of opinion and the power struggle to win your corner?
You will see this behaviour in young children - we all want to convince another that our opinion/view is the right one and we will fight for it if we believe we are right. That's human nature.
Why are some people only half complete anyway? Why can't two 'incomplete' people equalise?
Well said Jan.
Excellent, Conrad
Thanks
Thanks
breezee: Excellent, Conrad
Thanks
You're welcome.Thanks
Didn't mean to Hijack the Thread like this,though
Conrad73: You're welcome.
Didn't mean to Hijack the Thread like this,though
Didn't mean to Hijack the Thread like this,though
Radders we like to be hijacked sometimes.
One thing worries me a little though, you a pro psychiatrist or wot ? An if you are,you analysing us all?
Conrad73: You're welcome.
Didn't mean to Hijack the Thread like this,though
But you didn't hijack!!!Didn't mean to Hijack the Thread like this,though
You were right on track and took us all to a totally relevant destination
smoky:
It still needs the two "half circles" to meet up .... the Controller (half) and the Dependent one (half) .... and its a recipe for disaster. Both are "needy" of something.
Most definitely,and they seem to have a knack to find each other.It still needs the two "half circles" to meet up .... the Controller (half) and the Dependent one (half) .... and its a recipe for disaster. Both are "needy" of something.
Sometimes the Roles reverse for a while,often through sheer Force.
Heard a saying among some Friends that something like that is Not A Relationship,But A Hostage Situation!!
They hold each other Hostage with their "NEED".
It happens more often in Situations where a Physical Addiction is present,but there are many People with a Spiritual/Mental Makeup of Addiction without a Physical Dependency.
breezee: But you didn't hijack!!!
You were right on track and took us all to a totally relevant destination
!!You were right on track and took us all to a totally relevant destination
He,s avoiding the question,so I gues that means yes on both counts.
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One sucks the Energy they need from the other. And One vies for Dominance.
What do you all think of this "theory"?