Having an Opinion (18)
Smoky you are so right. Politeness means that one can offer an opinion, criticism (constructive) without offence.
It is not something that a lot of people can do unfortunately, as has been seen so many times here on CS.
Polite people do not usually offend but with non native speakers of English even polite people can run into difficulties. The skill then is to explain what was actually meant...again politely.
It is not something that a lot of people can do unfortunately, as has been seen so many times here on CS.
Polite people do not usually offend but with non native speakers of English even polite people can run into difficulties. The skill then is to explain what was actually meant...again politely.
well put ladies and you are so so right be happy and enjoygood manners and politeness cost nothing but show the type of person you are-
Jan1305: Smoky you are so right. Politeness means that one can offer an opinion, criticism (constructive) without offence.
It is not something that a lot of people can do unfortunately, as has been seen so many times here on CS.
Polite people do not usually offend but with non native speakers of English even polite people can run into difficulties. The skill then is to explain what was actually meant...again politely.
It is not something that a lot of people can do unfortunately, as has been seen so many times here on CS.
Polite people do not usually offend but with non native speakers of English even polite people can run into difficulties. The skill then is to explain what was actually meant...again politely.
smoky: There seems to be some confusion about the rights of a person to have an Opinion? And the right to insult other people?
Bla bla bla
Hope this helps those who are hesitant or confused about the difference.
Bla bla bla
Hope this helps those who are hesitant or confused about the difference.
Disagree. Sorry. Will elaborate later.
smoky: There seems to be some confusion about the rights of a person to have an Opinion? And the right to insult other people?
As the people on this site come from a vast walk of life, and not all of them are native english speakers .... maybe I can clarify this difference?
To have an opinion is everyones right - your own feelings are what you are entitled to.
When you make a statement directed at a particular person/ethnic or religious group, or any individual other than yourself - that can be insulting and you are not entitled to do that.
In a court of law, the judge can ask you for your opinion of something - that is allowed.
The judge, on the other hand, will never ask you to say something about someone else - that is hearsay, and not allowed. Only what personally affects yourself is what you are allowed to comment on.
Being polite: Being polite is to not insult anything belonging to someone else, ie. their country, their clothes, their appearance, their family or friends.... those are their own personal property.
Hope this helps those who are hesitant or confused about the difference.
As the people on this site come from a vast walk of life, and not all of them are native english speakers .... maybe I can clarify this difference?
To have an opinion is everyones right - your own feelings are what you are entitled to.
When you make a statement directed at a particular person/ethnic or religious group, or any individual other than yourself - that can be insulting and you are not entitled to do that.
In a court of law, the judge can ask you for your opinion of something - that is allowed.
The judge, on the other hand, will never ask you to say something about someone else - that is hearsay, and not allowed. Only what personally affects yourself is what you are allowed to comment on.
Being polite: Being polite is to not insult anything belonging to someone else, ie. their country, their clothes, their appearance, their family or friends.... those are their own personal property.
Hope this helps those who are hesitant or confused about the difference.
Thank you for taking the time to try and shed some light on this, Smoky, and I agree with you for the most part.
However, you can make statements directed at a particular person without causing offence - as in constructive criticism or compliments, and such. The latter especially is, if you think about it, actually done a lot here on the forums!
I also agree with what Jan said; it is not always easy to express yourself in a precise manner in your native tongue, and much less so in a foreign language - so in this international environment on CS, we need to keep this in mind.
Another aspect to factor in, is the cultural differences - different (even seemingly similar) cultures can have very different views on what is polite/rude, how people act towards each other, etc. One person's honest, straightforward opinion may sound like harsh criticism in another's ear, simply due to cultural differences. I have experienced this over and over again, and you don't have to go very far from your own country to experience considerable differences.
Lastly, one also needs to keep in mind the vast spectrum of personalities here - some people are a bit more thick-skinned, and some people are very sensitive
Marivanna_the_II: Disagree. Sorry. Will elaborate later.
And you have every right to disagree! .... however, there still remains a given code of conduct for humans. Animals mostly have this as an instinct - humans are usually taught as they grow up. Those who are not taught well enough have a hard time when they grow up, and have to interact with other individuals. Being shunned by society is one of the penalties they pay..... Which hopefully teaches them.
It is easy and understandable for people who do not yet belong to a group to percieve the people who are in the group as arrogant, much as sometimes we feel, when in the company of others more intelligent than us, that those people are arrogant,when in fact they are not. It is one of the ways in which we conserve our own feelings of self esteem, to put better able people down (who does he or she think he or she is) and sometimes to even try to destroy those better able people. Get rid of the king, and then I be the king. Such is life. JMO.
Elley: It is easy and understandable for people who do not yet belong to a group to percieve the people who are in the group as arrogant, much as sometimes we feel, when in the company of others more intelligent than us, that those people are arrogant,when in fact they are not. It is one of the ways in which we conserve our own feelings of self esteem, to put better able people down (who does he or she think he or she is) and sometimes to even try to destroy those better able people. Get rid of the king, and then I be the king. Such is life. JMO.
Well,maybe approaching People more with the Attitude that I might be able to learn something from them,ought to help over the first "Getting Acquainted Jitters" .
It takes a while nevertheless,to lose some of those "Fifth Wheel On The Cart Feelings".
And the Kings usually turn into their very own Fools without much "HELP" from anyone
Conrad73: Well,maybe approaching People more with the Attitude that I might be able to learn something from them,ought to help over the first "Getting Acquainted Jitters" .
It takes a while nevertheless,to lose some of those "Fifth Wheel On The Cart Feelings".
And the Kings usually turn into their very own Fools without much "HELP" from anyone
It takes a while nevertheless,to lose some of those "Fifth Wheel On The Cart Feelings".
And the Kings usually turn into their very own Fools without much "HELP" from anyone
Conrad73: Well,maybe approaching People more with the Attitude that I might be able to learn something from them,ought to help over the first "Getting Acquainted Jitters" .
It takes a while nevertheless,to lose some of those "Fifth Wheel On The Cart Feelings".
And the Kings usually turn into their very own Fools without much "HELP" from anyone
It takes a while nevertheless,to lose some of those "Fifth Wheel On The Cart Feelings".
And the Kings usually turn into their very own Fools without much "HELP" from anyone
Conrad73: Well,maybe approaching People more with the Attitude that I might be able to learn something from them,ought to help over the first "Getting Acquainted Jitters" .
It takes a while nevertheless,to lose some of those "Fifth Wheel On The Cart Feelings".
And the Kings usually turn into their very own Fools without much "HELP" from anyone
give them enough rope so to speak,and they hang themselves i like that.It takes a while nevertheless,to lose some of those "Fifth Wheel On The Cart Feelings".
And the Kings usually turn into their very own Fools without much "HELP" from anyone
wedward: give them enough rope so to speak,and they hang themselves i like that.
I think it's nice to be able to disagree with somebody without getting nasty......... there are many instances in 'chat rooms' where supposedly intelligent people gang up on somebody if they, for instance, mention the word 'religion' - especially amongst intellectuals or pseudo-intellectuals.
Once one person insults another person just because they hold a different opinion that makes debate difficult if not impossible.
An example would be somebody saying:
'All religions are man-made and anybody who believes in a religious faith is a brain-washed idiot!'
The same, supposedly intelligent person, could give their opinion less emotively by saying:
'I am an atheist. It is my belief that all religions are man-made. What makes YOU believe in YOUR religion and why do you believe your religion comes from some 'external force' and has not just been invented by somebody who wished to create himself/herself personal power as a 'priest' of a particular religion?'
The first statement states that anybody else who holds a different opinion is wrong and foolish; the second states an opinion (or belief) without causing offense to a religious person being addressed.
Welcome back!
One correction if I may. I wrote "So FORUMS (plural)....arrogance." I didn't mean posters in the specific forum are arrogant-just noted from my overall experience.
Also, I don't have something against "regulars", in this or any other forum, all the contrary there'd be no forums without them-us actually. But unless, one is accustomed to the environment (feeling in "home ground") it's difficult not to show self-restraint.
You all have a nice day
One correction if I may. I wrote "So FORUMS (plural)....arrogance." I didn't mean posters in the specific forum are arrogant-just noted from my overall experience.
Also, I don't have something against "regulars", in this or any other forum, all the contrary there'd be no forums without them-us actually. But unless, one is accustomed to the environment (feeling in "home ground") it's difficult not to show self-restraint.
You all have a nice day
Conrad73: Well,maybe approaching People more with the Attitude that I might be able to learn something from them,ought to help over the first "Getting Acquainted Jitters" .
It takes a while nevertheless,to lose some of those "Fifth Wheel On The Cart Feelings".
And the Kings usually turn into their very own Fools without much "HELP" from anyone
It takes a while nevertheless,to lose some of those "Fifth Wheel On The Cart Feelings".
And the Kings usually turn into their very own Fools without much "HELP" from anyone
Wise words. I remember my first few days on CS after I discovered the Forums - sitting and reading everything, not having the courage to post something. When I did eventually get up the courage I was very careful to not get personal with anyone, or look for trouble. I took things rather seriously and tried to not make too much of a bungling fool of myself. When people were nice back to me - that was such a good feeling - it made me feel I sort of "belonged", and helped me to relax more and sometimes to just jump into threads carelessly. Tis hard to remember the initial politeness engendered in meeting all you strangers.... who became good friends.
smoky: Wise words. I remember my first few days on CS after I discovered the Forums - sitting and reading everything, not having the courage to post something. When I did eventually get up the courage I was very careful to not get personal with anyone, or look for trouble. I took things rather seriously and tried to not make too much of a bungling fool of myself. When people were nice back to me - that was such a good feeling - it made me feel I sort of "belonged", and helped me to relax more and sometimes to just jump into threads carelessly. Tis hard to remember the initial politeness engendered in meeting all you strangers.... who became good friends.
Reminds me of the saying
"Strangers are just friends you have not met yet."
Nina3: Reminds me of the saying
"Strangers are just friends you have not met yet."
"Strangers are just friends you have not met yet."
and..........
'Enemies are strangers you just never bothered befriending' ????
(I made that one up - unless you didn't guess!)
It's when you meet a complete stranger and you smile and they look away as if you never existed and you think:
'How dare you?'
'You disregarded my smile, dammit!'
'Do you think I'm the village idiot?'
'Hmmmm...... so you think you're to good and noble to acknowledge my presence, huh?'
'Hey, buddy - who do YOU think YOU are?'
'You're not my friend. I don't want you to be my friend!'
'I want you to be my enemy!'
'Now you're my enemy I can poke you in the eye!'
AND ALL WITHOUT SAYING A SINGLE WORD OUT LOUD YOU CAN TURN A STRANGER INTO AN ENEMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Awwwwwwwwwwwwww! Ain't that just so cute?
smoky: There seems to be some confusion about the rights of a person to have an Opinion? And the right to insult other people?
As the people on this site come from a vast walk of life, and not all of them are native english speakers .... maybe I can clarify this difference?
To have an opinion is everyones right - your own feelings are what you are entitled to.
When you make a statement directed at a particular person/ethnic or religious group, or any individual other than yourself - that can be insulting and you are not entitled to do that.
In a court of law, the judge can ask you for your opinion of something - that is allowed.
The judge, on the other hand, will never ask you to say something about someone else - that is hearsay, and not allowed. Only what personally affects yourself is what you are allowed to comment on.
Being polite: Being polite is to not insult anything belonging to someone else, ie. their country, their clothes, their appearance, their family or friends.... those are their own personal property.
Hope this helps those who are hesitant or confused about the difference.
its simple your opinion is your view how you see things some will disagree so thats lifeAs the people on this site come from a vast walk of life, and not all of them are native english speakers .... maybe I can clarify this difference?
To have an opinion is everyones right - your own feelings are what you are entitled to.
When you make a statement directed at a particular person/ethnic or religious group, or any individual other than yourself - that can be insulting and you are not entitled to do that.
In a court of law, the judge can ask you for your opinion of something - that is allowed.
The judge, on the other hand, will never ask you to say something about someone else - that is hearsay, and not allowed. Only what personally affects yourself is what you are allowed to comment on.
Being polite: Being polite is to not insult anything belonging to someone else, ie. their country, their clothes, their appearance, their family or friends.... those are their own personal property.
Hope this helps those who are hesitant or confused about the difference.
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As the people on this site come from a vast walk of life, and not all of them are native english speakers .... maybe I can clarify this difference?
To have an opinion is everyones right - your own feelings are what you are entitled to.
When you make a statement directed at a particular person/ethnic or religious group, or any individual other than yourself - that can be insulting and you are not entitled to do that.
In a court of law, the judge can ask you for your opinion of something - that is allowed.
The judge, on the other hand, will never ask you to say something about someone else - that is hearsay, and not allowed. Only what personally affects yourself is what you are allowed to comment on.
Being polite: Being polite is to not insult anything belonging to someone else, ie. their country, their clothes, their appearance, their family or friends.... those are their own personal property.
Hope this helps those who are hesitant or confused about the difference.