Im a bit confused - any input would be greatly aprecciated...... (74)
trish123: ok, so, my little CS family...... I have issues to deal with today and could really do with your help....
I met somebody yesterday, he isnt a member of CS..........
there are lots of things I like about him but the whole encounter has left more questions than its answered.......
I have been wrong in the past so to a certain extent, I have to be wary of my own judgment and the other thing is that I know I dont have to make my mind up after just one meeting......
does that whole rush of attraction have to be there from the start or will it grow on me? theres a lot I like about the guy or I wouldnt have even had one date, is it gonna take a few or at least one more date to know this or what - Im confused, I like the guys lifestyle, it would suit me down to the ground, but Im sure not going to go for it on that basis - maybe this is just a close call................
I dont know if the bits that I didnt like are down to a first meeting being a bit like an interview - aaaarggghhhhhhhhhh
I met somebody yesterday, he isnt a member of CS..........
there are lots of things I like about him but the whole encounter has left more questions than its answered.......
I have been wrong in the past so to a certain extent, I have to be wary of my own judgment and the other thing is that I know I dont have to make my mind up after just one meeting......
does that whole rush of attraction have to be there from the start or will it grow on me? theres a lot I like about the guy or I wouldnt have even had one date, is it gonna take a few or at least one more date to know this or what - Im confused, I like the guys lifestyle, it would suit me down to the ground, but Im sure not going to go for it on that basis - maybe this is just a close call................
I dont know if the bits that I didnt like are down to a first meeting being a bit like an interview - aaaarggghhhhhhhhhh
well that´s a goooood start
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trish123: ok, so, my little CS family...... I have issues to deal with today and could really do with your help....
I met somebody yesterday, he isnt a member of CS..........
there are lots of things I like about him but the whole encounter has left more questions than its answered.......
I have been wrong in the past so to a certain extent, I have to be wary of my own judgment and the other thing is that I know I dont have to make my mind up after just one meeting......
does that whole rush of attraction have to be there from the start or will it grow on me? theres a lot I like about the guy or I wouldnt have even had one date, is it gonna take a few or at least one more date to know this or what - Im confused, I like the guys lifestyle, it would suit me down to the ground, but Im sure not going to go for it on that basis - maybe this is just a close call................
I dont know if the bits that I didnt like are down to a first meeting being a bit like an interview - aaaarggghhhhhhhhhh
I met somebody yesterday, he isnt a member of CS..........
there are lots of things I like about him but the whole encounter has left more questions than its answered.......
I have been wrong in the past so to a certain extent, I have to be wary of my own judgment and the other thing is that I know I dont have to make my mind up after just one meeting......
does that whole rush of attraction have to be there from the start or will it grow on me? theres a lot I like about the guy or I wouldnt have even had one date, is it gonna take a few or at least one more date to know this or what - Im confused, I like the guys lifestyle, it would suit me down to the ground, but Im sure not going to go for it on that basis - maybe this is just a close call................
I dont know if the bits that I didnt like are down to a first meeting being a bit like an interview - aaaarggghhhhhhhhhh
Trish, good morning.
It is so difficult sometimes, however I have learnt that not to analyse it all, is a help.
I have chatted to guys, some from here, some that I meet in my new adopted country, some here in my home town, but because I am so sure of what I want now, there could be something as simple as one sentence that puts me off.
On my return to the UK for the summer, I met a journalist at check in, we sat next to each other on the flight, we exchanged details, we met the following week, we had dinner, we chatted, gorgeous man to look at, tall, a sportsman, good job loved his daughters, but then, he did not wash his hands before taking out his contact lenses, got horribly drunk in the restaurant, I was put off by the mess in his car, and I thought to myself, I could not live like this. So I ended it.
It is about what you want my darling, if he has done nothing to put you off, and you feel you can get to know him, you like him, then simply get to know him, I think it is fairly easy to get to know men, we women are good at that, we look for alot more earlier than men do, I do not mean relationship term, I mean, spinach stuck in the teeth, badly bitten fingernails. I do anyway.
What were the bits that you did not like?
Have you known him before the first date?
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Make a list of pro's and cons and just take it from there. That will give you a better idea.
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gongman: well that´s a goooood start
Yes but theres the rub - Im frightened that the lifestyle may be what is attracting me - I think you may know how appealing a little cottage in 3 acres of national park would be to me, a couple of miles from any roads and I could play in the garden till my little heart was content..... he's built windturbines, the water is from a spring etc - its just my ideal lifestyle.............
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trish123: ok, so, my little CS family...... I have issues to deal with today and could really do with your help....
I met somebody yesterday, he isnt a member of CS..........
there are lots of things I like about him but the whole encounter has left more questions than its answered.......
I have been wrong in the past so to a certain extent, I have to be wary of my own judgment and the other thing is that I know I dont have to make my mind up after just one meeting......
does that whole rush of attraction have to be there from the start or will it grow on me? theres a lot I like about the guy or I wouldnt have even had one date, is it gonna take a few or at least one more date to know this or what - Im confused, I like the guys lifestyle, it would suit me down to the ground, but Im sure not going to go for it on that basis - maybe this is just a close call................
I dont know if the bits that I didnt like are down to a first meeting being a bit like an interview - aaaarggghhhhhhhhhh
I met somebody yesterday, he isnt a member of CS..........
there are lots of things I like about him but the whole encounter has left more questions than its answered.......
I have been wrong in the past so to a certain extent, I have to be wary of my own judgment and the other thing is that I know I dont have to make my mind up after just one meeting......
does that whole rush of attraction have to be there from the start or will it grow on me? theres a lot I like about the guy or I wouldnt have even had one date, is it gonna take a few or at least one more date to know this or what - Im confused, I like the guys lifestyle, it would suit me down to the ground, but Im sure not going to go for it on that basis - maybe this is just a close call................
I dont know if the bits that I didnt like are down to a first meeting being a bit like an interview - aaaarggghhhhhhhhhh
Hiya Trish 
... sounds very promising... I have a really good feeling about it in fact... am thrilled for you..Don't question just move forward in confidence.. and enjoy each moment for what it is.. a moment.. and don't worry that you don't have this huge powerful attraction for him... while these experiences can be intoxicating.. they are quite often short lived... all my long term significant others (2 ok not so many) were slow burners in the sense that initially I wasn't wow!!... but it was the people they were and the things we had in common that was the basis initially.. the attraction and passion came later... and it didn't disappoint
.. just enjoy Trish.. am thrilled for you.. really I am.. ------ This thread is Archived ------
trish123: Yes but theres the rub - Im frightened that the lifestyle may be what is attracting me - I think you may know how appealing a little cottage in 3 acres of national park would be to me, a couple of miles from any roads and I could play in the garden till my little heart was content..... he's built windturbines, the water is from a spring etc - its just my ideal lifestyle.............
So you have common ground Trish.
A person's lifestyle is a contributing factor to what I am attracted to, however gorgeous a person is then if his life is a mess, I do not want to be a mother.
I see nothing wrong in being attracted to his lifestyle at all. You have a base in which to build on.
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trish123: ok, so, my little CS family...... I have issues to deal with today and could really do with your help....
I met somebody yesterday, he isnt a member of CS..........
there are lots of things I like about him but the whole encounter has left more questions than its answered.......
I have been wrong in the past so to a certain extent, I have to be wary of my own judgment and the other thing is that I know I dont have to make my mind up after just one meeting......
does that whole rush of attraction have to be there from the start or will it grow on me? theres a lot I like about the guy or I wouldnt have even had one date, is it gonna take a few or at least one more date to know this or what - Im confused, I like the guys lifestyle, it would suit me down to the ground, but Im sure not going to go for it on that basis - maybe this is just a close call................
I dont know if the bits that I didnt like are down to a first meeting being a bit like an interview - aaaarggghhhhhhhhhh
I met somebody yesterday, he isnt a member of CS..........
there are lots of things I like about him but the whole encounter has left more questions than its answered.......
I have been wrong in the past so to a certain extent, I have to be wary of my own judgment and the other thing is that I know I dont have to make my mind up after just one meeting......
does that whole rush of attraction have to be there from the start or will it grow on me? theres a lot I like about the guy or I wouldnt have even had one date, is it gonna take a few or at least one more date to know this or what - Im confused, I like the guys lifestyle, it would suit me down to the ground, but Im sure not going to go for it on that basis - maybe this is just a close call................
I dont know if the bits that I didnt like are down to a first meeting being a bit like an interview - aaaarggghhhhhhhhhh
Trish, you know the score...let me check him out first.
Speak to you later
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trish123: ok, so, my little CS family...... I have issues to deal with today and could really do with your help....
I met somebody yesterday, he isnt a member of CS..........
there are lots of things I like about him but the whole encounter has left more questions than its answered.......
I have been wrong in the past so to a certain extent, I have to be wary of my own judgment and the other thing is that I know I dont have to make my mind up after just one meeting......
does that whole rush of attraction have to be there from the start or will it grow on me? theres a lot I like about the guy or I wouldnt have even had one date, is it gonna take a few or at least one more date to know this or what - Im confused, I like the guys lifestyle, it would suit me down to the ground, but Im sure not going to go for it on that basis - maybe this is just a close call................
I dont know if the bits that I didnt like are down to a first meeting being a bit like an interview - aaaarggghhhhhhhhhh
I met somebody yesterday, he isnt a member of CS..........
there are lots of things I like about him but the whole encounter has left more questions than its answered.......
I have been wrong in the past so to a certain extent, I have to be wary of my own judgment and the other thing is that I know I dont have to make my mind up after just one meeting......
does that whole rush of attraction have to be there from the start or will it grow on me? theres a lot I like about the guy or I wouldnt have even had one date, is it gonna take a few or at least one more date to know this or what - Im confused, I like the guys lifestyle, it would suit me down to the ground, but Im sure not going to go for it on that basis - maybe this is just a close call................
I dont know if the bits that I didnt like are down to a first meeting being a bit like an interview - aaaarggghhhhhhhhhh
The whole rush of attraction comes out of desperation. Relax and give yourself some time to get to know this man. Who knows? He just might turn out to be your best friend.
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trish123: Yes but theres the rub - Im frightened that the lifestyle may be what is attracting me - I think you may know how appealing a little cottage in 3 acres of national park would be to me, a couple of miles from any roads and I could play in the garden till my little heart was content..... he's built windturbines, the water is from a spring etc - its just my ideal lifestyle.............
I would take your time. If there is one thing that I have learned is that no matter what the other person has, you still many not love the guy.
I dated a guy that had a house on a couple of acres, he was good looking, played music, and he really liked me, but there was no connection. I tried, but it did not work.
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Sommerauer71: Trish, good morning.
It is so difficult sometimes, however I have learnt that not to analyse it all, is a help.
I have chatted to guys, some from here, some that I meet in my new adopted country, some here in my home town, but because I am so sure of what I want now, there could be something as simple as one sentence that puts me off.
On my return to the UK for the summer, I met a journalist at check in, we sat next to each other on the flight, we exchanged details, we met the following week, we had dinner, we chatted, gorgeous man to look at, tall, a sportsman, good job loved his daughters, but then, he did not wash his hands before taking out his contact lenses, got horribly drunk in the restaurant, I was put off by the mess in his car, and I thought to myself, I could not live like this. So I ended it.
It is about what you want my darling, if he has done nothing to put you off, and you feel you can get to know him, you like him, then simply get to know him, I think it is fairly easy to get to know men, we women are good at that, we look for alot more earlier than men do, I do not mean relationship term, I mean, spinach stuck in the teeth, badly bitten fingernails. I do anyway.
What were the bits that you did not like?
Have you known him before the first date?
It is so difficult sometimes, however I have learnt that not to analyse it all, is a help.
I have chatted to guys, some from here, some that I meet in my new adopted country, some here in my home town, but because I am so sure of what I want now, there could be something as simple as one sentence that puts me off.
On my return to the UK for the summer, I met a journalist at check in, we sat next to each other on the flight, we exchanged details, we met the following week, we had dinner, we chatted, gorgeous man to look at, tall, a sportsman, good job loved his daughters, but then, he did not wash his hands before taking out his contact lenses, got horribly drunk in the restaurant, I was put off by the mess in his car, and I thought to myself, I could not live like this. So I ended it.
It is about what you want my darling, if he has done nothing to put you off, and you feel you can get to know him, you like him, then simply get to know him, I think it is fairly easy to get to know men, we women are good at that, we look for alot more earlier than men do, I do not mean relationship term, I mean, spinach stuck in the teeth, badly bitten fingernails. I do anyway.
What were the bits that you did not like?
Have you known him before the first date?
Hi, Good Morning and you make some very good points, thank you
The bits I didnt like, well, there was a kind of veil and I knew it was covering his past hurts but Im not sure if its a veil of gossamer or of impenetrable woven steel...... thats one bit.......
I only spoke to him for a few days before agreeing to meet up but Im pretty quick to get somebodys number (no, not their phone number
) and I was right on that score too - he was every bit the caring and considerate person I had figured he was, no spinach in his teeth or other observable bad manners - he looks after his sons (grown now, almost) and spoke very, in fact, extremely respectably about his two ex's............ maybe it is that I want to know more but am just bowled over cos I have been on my own so long now......... 
oh yes, and although it would be an idyllic lifestyle for me, could I really live up to it............ so many questions......------ This thread is Archived ------
trish123: Hi, Good Morning and you make some very good points, thank you
The bits I didnt like, well, there was a kind of veil and I knew it was covering his past hurts but Im not sure if its a veil of gossamer or of impenetrable woven steel...... thats one bit.......
I only spoke to him for a few days before agreeing to meet up but Im pretty quick to get somebodys number (no, not their phone number ) and I was right on that score too - he was every bit the caring and considerate person I had figured he was, no spinach in his teeth or other observable bad manners - he looks after his sons (grown now, almost) and spoke very, in fact, extremely respectably about his two ex's............ maybe it is that I want to know more but am just bowled over cos I have been on my own so long now......... oh yes, and although it would be an idyllic lifestyle for me, could I really live up to it............ so many questions......
The bits I didnt like, well, there was a kind of veil and I knew it was covering his past hurts but Im not sure if its a veil of gossamer or of impenetrable woven steel...... thats one bit.......
I only spoke to him for a few days before agreeing to meet up but Im pretty quick to get somebodys number (no, not their phone number ) and I was right on that score too - he was every bit the caring and considerate person I had figured he was, no spinach in his teeth or other observable bad manners - he looks after his sons (grown now, almost) and spoke very, in fact, extremely respectably about his two ex's............ maybe it is that I want to know more but am just bowled over cos I have been on my own so long now......... oh yes, and although it would be an idyllic lifestyle for me, could I really live up to it............ so many questions......
Ok, lets look at this biologically.
He has his veil? Regardless of what it is, it is there, we all have our self protection modes.
The fact that he is respectful of his previous partners. would be something that I would find attractive, much better than bitterness and anger. We all have pasts and those partners that were involved in our lives, have contributed to who we are, I really do not have a problem probing about a person's past, it where we go from here that counts and part of getting to know a person and what they are all about.
This man sounds lovely Trish, as for you living up to it? Up to what? You are not getting married or planning to move in with him, those are your issues, not his and something you have to work through as you get closer to him, if you do.
That is fear and your insecurities, get through those, if he likes what he sees then he will not be thinking that, he could well be thinking that you are exactly what he wants. Shoooo those insecurities away, send him a text and thank him for a lovely evening and that you look forward to doing it again.
That is my view. And that is exactly what I would do.
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Follow your heart trish. I know it's cliche, but it's true.
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bob1959: the guy was probably nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs
I will steal that for my personal use,if I may. Brilliant.
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You mentioned that you have reservations. Were they gut instincts about who he is, how he behaves, how he was around you, small things, big things???????
Your gut instinct on those kind of things is much more reliable than your thoughts on whether his lifestyle suits you.
What gave you the reservations???
Your gut instinct on those kind of things is much more reliable than your thoughts on whether his lifestyle suits you.
What gave you the reservations???
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trish,
"Bowled over because you've been on your own so long" Sort of the same as the "bad judgement in the past" It's part of who you are at this point. Your showing good decision making skill. I think you may be mixing up thinking things through with being confused. Your doing good. Relax!
Bob
"Bowled over because you've been on your own so long" Sort of the same as the "bad judgement in the past" It's part of who you are at this point. Your showing good decision making skill. I think you may be mixing up thinking things through with being confused. Your doing good. Relax!
Bob
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skimpydoo: Make a list of pro's and cons and just take it from there. That will give you a better idea.
Good idea Skimpy thanks - its crazy this - if it was anybody else I would be full of sound advice
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Aries01: Hiya Trish ... sounds very promising... I have a really good feeling about it in fact... am thrilled for you..
Don't question just move forward in confidence.. and enjoy each moment for what it is.. a moment.. and don't worry that you don't have this huge powerful attraction for him... while these experiences can be intoxicating.. they are quite often short lived... all my long term significant others (2 ok not so many) were slow burners in the sense that initially I wasn't wow!!... but it was the people they were and the things we had in common that was the basis initially.. the attraction and passion came later... and it didn't disappoint .. just enjoy Trish.. am thrilled for you.. really I am..
Don't question just move forward in confidence.. and enjoy each moment for what it is.. a moment.. and don't worry that you don't have this huge powerful attraction for him... while these experiences can be intoxicating.. they are quite often short lived... all my long term significant others (2 ok not so many) were slow burners in the sense that initially I wasn't wow!!... but it was the people they were and the things we had in common that was the basis initially.. the attraction and passion came later... and it didn't disappoint .. just enjoy Trish.. am thrilled for you.. really I am..
Thanks Aries
yes, Im happy really that there isnt the great overwhelming attraction going on and there is definitely basis for friendship which cant be bad 
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bodleing: Trish, you know the score...let me check him out first. Speak to you later
You're right Gra
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trish123: Good idea Skimpy thanks - its crazy this - if it was anybody else I would be full of sound advice
Easy when it's somebody else, isn't it?
Hey, am I still allowed to have an online crush on you?
Your big hulking yank,
Bob.
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I met somebody yesterday, he isnt a member of CS..........
there are lots of things I like about him but the whole encounter has left more questions than its answered.......
I have been wrong in the past so to a certain extent, I have to be wary of my own judgment and the other thing is that I know I dont have to make my mind up after just one meeting......
does that whole rush of attraction have to be there from the start or will it grow on me? theres a lot I like about the guy or I wouldnt have even had one date, is it gonna take a few or at least one more date to know this or what - Im confused, I like the guys lifestyle, it would suit me down to the ground, but Im sure not going to go for it on that basis - maybe this is just a close call................
I dont know if the bits that I didnt like are down to a first meeting being a bit like an interview - aaaarggghhhhhhhhhh