OK, so it over - how do you let somebody down gently? (102)
You being you, how would you handle the scenario of letting an employee go that simply has not worked out...?
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Yes, yes, yes Trish......
No easy way to part from someone.
But however gently you try to let them down,
if they hurt then some will get nasty,
mostly I have not had too much unpleasentness
though.
I wouldn't recomend doing by text though!
how you doing up there?
No easy way to part from someone.
But however gently you try to let them down,
if they hurt then some will get nasty,
mostly I have not had too much unpleasentness
though.
I wouldn't recomend doing by text though!
how you doing up there?
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Just tell me straight Trish,
I can take it!!!
I can take it!!!
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solitare: You being you, how would you handle the scenario of letting an employee go that simply has not worked out...?
Id have the sit down and talk it through before deciding if the situation was inevitable - cards on the table along with their options and if theres no other way just the cards and a handshake
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SirenLydia: Yes, yes, yes Trish......
No easy way to part from someone.
But however gently you try to let them down,
if they hurt then some will get nasty,
mostly I have not had too much unpleasentness
though.
I wouldn't recomend doing by text though!
how you doing up there?
No easy way to part from someone.
But however gently you try to let them down,
if they hurt then some will get nasty,
mostly I have not had too much unpleasentness
though.
I wouldn't recomend doing by text though!
how you doing up there?
It has to be the wettest August on record Lydia - I think we've had a couple of days of sunshine and thats been it - grey skies all the way and just about the worst summer i remember weather wise - sounds bizarre doesnt it but Ive had better Novembers
Im glad you havent had too much unpleasantness
and yes, that text bust up just about has to be the worst ever idea - the swines 
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bodleing: Just tell me straight Trish,
I can take it!!!
I can take it!!!
Thats real big of you Gra, sorry for being so public about it - hope you dont mind too much
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trish123: Id have the sit down and talk it through before deciding if the situation was inevitable - cards on the table along with their options and if theres no other way just the cards and a handshake
The best way; emotions are basically the same just a different scenario Honesty and civility are usually the best way...%)
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solitare: The best way; emotions are basically the same just a different scenario Honesty and civility are usually the best way...%)
I agree Solitare, I actually deleted that from the original post cos I was answering my own question
What Im thinking about more so, is when these situations turn 'tricky'....... more than a couple of people I know have ended up with stalkers who totally refuse to take 'no' or 'its over' into their heads - was wondering more I guess if theres ways round those situations - other than calling the cops
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trish123: I agree Solitare, I actually deleted that from the original post cos I was answering my own question
What Im thinking about more so, is when these situations turn 'tricky'....... more than a couple of people I know have ended up with stalkers who totally refuse to take 'no' or 'its over' into their heads - was wondering more I guess if theres ways round those situations - other than calling the cops
What Im thinking about more so, is when these situations turn 'tricky'....... more than a couple of people I know have ended up with stalkers who totally refuse to take 'no' or 'its over' into their heads - was wondering more I guess if theres ways round those situations - other than calling the cops
I feel that if someone will not take no for an
answer and begins stalking, then they have
a mental problem and the only way may
be for the police to be involved for safeties sake.
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trish123: I agree Solitare, I actually deleted that from the original post cos I was answering my own question
What Im thinking about more so, is when these situations turn 'tricky'....... more than a couple of people I know have ended up with stalkers who totally refuse to take 'no' or 'its over' into their heads - was wondering more I guess if theres ways round those situations - other than calling the cops
What Im thinking about more so, is when these situations turn 'tricky'....... more than a couple of people I know have ended up with stalkers who totally refuse to take 'no' or 'its over' into their heads - was wondering more I guess if theres ways round those situations - other than calling the cops
Apparently some people like stalkers, they want someone who will chase them in the beginning, come and get me, hurt yourself doing it; so it wouldn't be odd for the stalker to continue the behavior after .. wanting to be loved and wanting to be stalked are 2 different things.
I know we joke about here, all in good fun; but in RL needing that groping, never let go, run thrut the fires of hell, keep it up until your body crumbles just isn't healthy. I think theres self esteem issues in the needer and the stalker here. I guess its possible to fall prey to it as well, as we all want to be loved, but I think it shows pretty early so... Personally I would be ok with it as long as there are signs they want change, but if not, ummm bye..
Ending .. Generally, I would try to talk it through, without giving any wrong 'hope' signals, but it has only happened to me once. Haven't normally been the 'ender' unless its early in a relationship and I just saw things that looked irreconcilable, either not compatible or stubbornly in a control rut and I just dont see any desire in them to get out of it.
Ya, not a lot of how to end it help there ...
good luck to you and gra ... I think some well thought separation is a good thing
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BnaturAl: Apparently some people like stalkers, they want someone who will chase them in the beginning, come and get me, hurt yourself doing it; so it wouldn't be odd for the stalker to continue the behavior after .. wanting to be loved and wanting to be stalked are 2 different things.
I know we joke about here, all in good fun; but in RL needing that groping, never let go, run thrut the fires of hell, keep it up until your body crumbles just isn't healthy. I think theres self esteem issues in the needer and the stalker here. I guess its possible to fall prey to it as well, as we all want to be loved, but I think it shows pretty early so... Personally I would be ok with it as long as there are signs they want change, but if not, ummm bye..
Ending .. Generally, I would try to talk it through, without giving any wrong 'hope' signals, but it has only happened to me once. Haven't normally been the 'ender' unless its early in a relationship and I just saw things that looked irreconcilable, either not compatible or stubbornly in a control rut and I just dont see any desire in them to get out of it.
Ya, not a lot of how to end it help there ...
good luck to you and gra ... I think some well thought separation is a good thing
I know we joke about here, all in good fun; but in RL needing that groping, never let go, run thrut the fires of hell, keep it up until your body crumbles just isn't healthy. I think theres self esteem issues in the needer and the stalker here. I guess its possible to fall prey to it as well, as we all want to be loved, but I think it shows pretty early so... Personally I would be ok with it as long as there are signs they want change, but if not, ummm bye..
Ending .. Generally, I would try to talk it through, without giving any wrong 'hope' signals, but it has only happened to me once. Haven't normally been the 'ender' unless its early in a relationship and I just saw things that looked irreconcilable, either not compatible or stubbornly in a control rut and I just dont see any desire in them to get out of it.
Ya, not a lot of how to end it help there ...
good luck to you and gra ... I think some well thought separation is a good thing
Gra will have forgotten it by now - I think United are playing tonight
I just see so much of it around and really wonder at all this broken heart stuff and was thinking if there are ways to ease the pain in the first place - the only thing I can think of just now is the way we tend to let our imaginations run away with our expectations - but isnt hindsight forever the late arrival...........
and I have to wonder if some of the pain of the talking it over at the end could saved by more talking it over on the way through - or is it those rose coloured glasses that get in the way ? and as you say, red flags do show pretty early on and we ignore them to our cost.....
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SirenLydia: I feel that if someone will not take no for an
answer and begins stalking, then they have
a mental problem and the only way may
be for the police to be involved for safeties sake.
answer and begins stalking, then they have
a mental problem and the only way may
be for the police to be involved for safeties sake.
I think its really sad......... People who exhibit this kind of behaviour are totally convinced that they are justified in terrorising another person, that their victim (ex) deserves all they get and that they brought it on themselves......
we really do have to be so cautious in our choices.........
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In the morning, I give them a cup of coffee and say, "You know, this just isn't working out for me."
I don't even give them a hint before hand and I never say anything about them...I just blame it on me.
I don't even give them a hint before hand and I never say anything about them...I just blame it on me.
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arabella: In the morning, I give them a cup of coffee and say, "You know, this just isn't working out for me."
I don't even give them a hint before hand and I never say anything about them...I just blame it on me.
I don't even give them a hint before hand and I never say anything about them...I just blame it on me.
I always blame it on me too!
It's me that can't wait to see the back of them......
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"Gra will have forgotten it by now - I think United are playing tonight"
------------------------------------------
Too true, I'm just going to put some rizla's together
and watch the match.
------------------------------------------
Too true, I'm just going to put some rizla's together
and watch the match.
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arabella: In the morning, I give them a cup of coffee and say, "You know, this just isn't working out for me."
I don't even give them a hint before hand and I never say anything about them...I just blame it on me.
I don't even give them a hint before hand and I never say anything about them...I just blame it on me.
I tried that one, once, yrs ago and he just wouldnt accept it and kept saying he would change and got really upset so I gave in and kept seeing him a bit longer - he did the same thing next time too cos of course, Id given in once....... I was only about 16 or so and my next move there was to just hide from him and not show up.........
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bodleing: "Gra will have forgotten it by now - I think United are playing tonight"
------------------------------------------Too true, I'm just going to put some rizla's together
and watch the match.
------------------------------------------Too true, I'm just going to put some rizla's together
and watch the match.
Gra, did you get my mail? - its about my ceremony
enjoy the match n stuff
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trish123: Gra, did you get my mail? - its about my ceremony
enjoy the match n stuff
enjoy the match n stuff
Yes, will ring you about that.
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Created: Aug 2008
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Does it always have to get hurtful or otherwise horrible and does 'letting them down easy' inevitably turn mean and nasty?
How can we put things that somebody may not want to hear, into words which wont break their hearts and how much of ourselves do we invest in this before the role changes to that of parent or carer instead of lover and friend
No, Im not about to burst somebodys bubble, Im just wondering for the simple reason that a lot of us have gone through this stuff or seen it in others' relationships - have we learnt anything and can we learn more?
and, wouldnt getting out sooner rather than later, in some situations, be the better choice?