advice (42)
uptallQuiet village..., Durham, England UK57 Threads 1 Polls 12,860 PostsHi, Has anyone had the misfortune to have loved very much, an alcoholic, And why do they always phone you in the early hours of the morning and say nothing ?Also why do they love the bottle more than you ?????????????
uptall: Hi, Has anyone had the misfortune to have loved very much, an alcoholic, And why do they always phone you in the early hours of the morning and say nothing ?Also why do they love the bottle more than you ?????????????
They dont love the bottle more than you, that much I do know - they are simply helpless to show it while under the influence of their addiction...............
Im guessing at the phone calls thing cos I guess everyone has their own reasons but maybe the person is simply showing love in the only way they know, maybe words are just beyond them or maybe they hope you will have some of the answers the list could go on and on but why do you think they do the phone call thing?
uptall: Hi, Has anyone had the misfortune to have loved very much, an alcoholic, And why do they always phone you in the early hours of the morning and say nothing ?Also why do they love the bottle more than you ?????????????
Love the bottle more than you???? Well, you'll obviously never been addicted to drugs and you're not an alcoholic.
Picture this: Have you ever had an itch that you tried to ignore? The more you tried to ignore it the worse it gets until you give in and scratch it?
Cravings are just like that. The body's call for alcohol is strong. It's a physical as well as mental addiction.
That person must have the desire to stop drinking otherwise they won't. Unless they deal with the mental issues as to why they are drinking, they will never over come the physical desire to drink.
They may love you with all their heart and soul but their cravings to drink are more powerful without treatment.
Best wishes to your friend.
anglophile: Love the bottle more than you???? Well, you'll obviously never been addicted to drugs and you're not an alcoholic.
Picture this: Have you ever had an itch that you tried to ignore? The more you tried to ignore it the worse it gets until you give in and scratch it?
Cravings are just like that. The body's call for alcohol is strong. It's a physical as well as mental addiction.
That person must have the desire to stop drinking otherwise they won't. Unless they deal with the mental issues as to why they are drinking, they will never over come the physical desire to drink.
They may love you with all their heart and soul but their cravings to drink are more powerful without treatment.
Best wishes to your friend.
Thanks...........Picture this: Have you ever had an itch that you tried to ignore? The more you tried to ignore it the worse it gets until you give in and scratch it?
Cravings are just like that. The body's call for alcohol is strong. It's a physical as well as mental addiction.
That person must have the desire to stop drinking otherwise they won't. Unless they deal with the mental issues as to why they are drinking, they will never over come the physical desire to drink.
They may love you with all their heart and soul but their cravings to drink are more powerful without treatment.
Best wishes to your friend.
...
trish123: They dont love the bottle more than you, that much I do know - they are simply helpless to show it while under the influence of their addiction...............
Im guessing at the phone calls thing cos I guess everyone has their own reasons but maybe the person is simply showing love in the only way they know, maybe words are just beyond them or maybe they hope you will have some of the answers the list could go on and on but why do you think they do the phone call thing?
Im guessing at the phone calls thing cos I guess everyone has their own reasons but maybe the person is simply showing love in the only way they know, maybe words are just beyond them or maybe they hope you will have some of the answers the list could go on and on but why do you think they do the phone call thing?
Thanks,i don't know, why
................my advice is to keep away from addicts,they ruin your life as well as their own and will never stop until they want to, this can take forever
uptall: Thanks,i don't know, why ................
depends on how you have reacted to their calls this far, if you have shouted, maybe they dont want to make you shout again but just want you to know they wish they could make it right - I really dont know, there are so many variables to this kind of behavior but I reckon its usually down to them wanting you to understand but not having the words or feeling they have the right to ask this from you -
it takes the patience of a saint to deal with somebodys addiction but unless they want to help themselves, theres not much you can do, but please dont mistake not wanting to help themself for not being able to - along with the patience thats needed, a few tons of understanding come in pretty handy too.......... all the best with this
Thanks Pat, Will do, i know to do that ok,but i think it's 
and it's such a waste of live!!!!!!!!!!!!!
............
and it's such a waste of live!!!!!!!!!!!!!
............ Hi Trish, Thanks i know all that, and i was very patient and understanding, i worked very hard for two years trying to help her, i was even measuring out the vodka and trying to get it down,
but i would always find a bottle hidden somewhere,and i didn't shout, am not that sort of person.
I know they cant help it, it's it was just on my mind that's all,
like always
......................
but i would always find a bottle hidden somewhere,and i didn't shout, am not that sort of person.
I know they cant help it, it's
it was just on my mind that's all,like always
......................
unless these people want to help themselves, there is no point.you are a decent man and deserve someone who thinks of you also
lisalee1960: i agree mike,get involved with those sort of people and they walk all over you
Thanks for that - Its re-assuring to know someone on here actually agrees with something* *I* said
Mike
mike1937: Thanks for that - Its re-assuring to know someone on here actually agrees with something* *I* said
Mike
Mike
was just browsing and came across this thread and thought id give a little insight to what i know of alcoholics.
i was the child of an alcoholic and lets just say that until the age of 4 my life was horrific..............wont go into details on that score but i ended up being brought up in care and the social work department holding parental rights.
alcoholics are very selfish people who think of no one but themselves and ruin lives into the bargain.
i never lost touch with my mother and its only since i had my kids that she has improved her lifestyle and a lot of that was because i was intolerant of her ways and told her in no uncertain terms that she would have absolutely nothing to with my kids while she was drinking.
my kids adore her and she is wonderful with them and i think in her own way she is trying to make up with what she missed on with me.
that wont ever happen and i suppose in a way i do still hold a bit of a grudge for what i missed out on.
ive been there wirth the phone calls in the middle of the night and being embarrassed when i have had to
go and pick her up from somewhere when she passed out and made a complete fool of herself.
tough love is sometimes the only way and just remove yourself from the situation altogether.
uglysister: was just browsing and came across this thread and thought id give a little insight to what i know of alcoholics.
i was the child of an alcoholic and lets just say that until the age of 4 my life was horrific..............wont go into details on that score but i ended up being brought up in care and the social work department holding parental rights.
alcoholics are very selfish people who think of no one but themselves and ruin lives into the bargain.
i never lost touch with my mother and its only since i had my kids that she has improved her lifestyle and a lot of that was because i was intolerant of her ways and told her in no uncertain terms that she would have absolutely nothing to with my kids while she was drinking.
my kids adore her and she is wonderful with them and i think in her own way she is trying to make up with what she missed on with me.
that wont ever happen and i suppose in a way i do still hold a bit of a grudge for what i missed out on.
ive been there wirth the phone calls in the middle of the night and being embarrassed when i have had to
go and pick her up from somewhere when she passed out and made a complete fool of herself.
tough love is sometimes the only way and just remove yourself from the situation altogether.
i was the child of an alcoholic and lets just say that until the age of 4 my life was horrific..............wont go into details on that score but i ended up being brought up in care and the social work department holding parental rights.
alcoholics are very selfish people who think of no one but themselves and ruin lives into the bargain.
i never lost touch with my mother and its only since i had my kids that she has improved her lifestyle and a lot of that was because i was intolerant of her ways and told her in no uncertain terms that she would have absolutely nothing to with my kids while she was drinking.
my kids adore her and she is wonderful with them and i think in her own way she is trying to make up with what she missed on with me.
that wont ever happen and i suppose in a way i do still hold a bit of a grudge for what i missed out on.
ive been there wirth the phone calls in the middle of the night and being embarrassed when i have had to
go and pick her up from somewhere when she passed out and made a complete fool of herself.
tough love is sometimes the only way and just remove yourself from the situation altogether.
thanks i did..... i just had to let her go i could not do anymore for her and my life was hell.... it's a shame.... but i still get the calls late at night tho..... it's sad... but what can you do when you have done all you can.... and for a very-very long time
it's so sad for them............... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!im afraid i dont agree that its a shame.........its a shame for the people round about them who have to deal with the drunken behaviour and lying on a daily basis. there is plenty of help out there for alcoholics and why dont they take the help?.............because they are selfish and can only think of themselves and where the next bottle is coming from.
uptall: thanks i did..... i just had to let her go i could not do anymore for her and my life was hell.... it's a shame.... but i still get the calls late at night tho..... it's sad... but what can you do when you have done all you can.... and for a very-very long time it's so sad for them............... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
uglysister: im afraid i dont agree that its a shame.........its a shame for the people round about them who have to deal with the drunken behaviour and lying on a daily basis. there is plenty of help out there for alcoholics and why dont they take the help?.............because they are selfish and can only think of themselves and where the next bottle is coming from.
that's very hard and i'm sorry .....but i'm not like that.... i'm a softy and always try to help.... and give people a chance.... but that's me ....and were not all the same are we !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...........................Hi sis..................
uptall: that's very hard and i'm sorry .....but i'm not like that.... i'm a softy and always try to help.... and give people a chance.... but that's me ....and were not all the same are we !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...........................Hi sis..................
hi
im very softhearted too and i would help anyone out if i could but maybe living with alcoholism all of my life has made me very hardened to it.
uptall: Hi, Has anyone had the misfortune to have loved very much, an alcoholic, And why do they always phone you in the early hours of the morning and say nothing ?Also why do they love the bottle more than you ?????????????
Heres....what...I..do...know.Some....alcoholics...drink....because...whats..in...the...bottle...is.
.like....fire...in...their...soul....Some...feel...like...nobody...until...they...breathe...in...this...fire...It...has...to..do..with...a..lack...of...self..esteem...lack...of...self...worth...
This...person...you...speak...of...may...have...love...you,...but..is..lost...and...need...to...find...
her...way...back...Thus...a..long..term....regular/..meeting...with...AA
(Alcoholic.Anonymous),and....some...treatment...in..Rehab.
You....are...considered...to..be..a...co..dependent...when...you...aid...her...in...getting...these.
..drinks...i.e...measuring...and..pouring....However....you...couldnot..have...known...this.
.because...you.thought...you..were...helping...in..a...good...kind...manner,...because...of...your....caring..and..kind...nature.
If...at...any...time...you...need...to...vent...drop...me..a...line..
uptall: Hi, Has anyone had the misfortune to have loved very much, an alcoholic, And why do they always phone you in the early hours of the morning and say nothing ?Also why do they love the bottle more than you ?????????????
Heres....what...I..do...know.Some....alcoholics...drink....because...whats..in...the...bottle...is.
like....fire...in...their...soul....Some...feel...like...nobody...until...they...breathe
...in...this...fire...It...has...to..do..with...a..lack...of...self..esteem
...lack...of...self...worth...
This...person...you...speak...of...may...have...love...you,..
but..is..lost...and...need...to...find.her...way...back...
Thus...a..long..term....regular/..meeting...with...AA
(Alcoholic.Anonymous),and....some...treatment...in..Rehab.
You....are...considered...to..be..a...co..dependent...when...you...aid...her...in.
..getting...these...drinks...i.e...measuring...and..pouring....However....you.
.couldnot..have...known...this..because...you.thought...you..were...helping..
in..a...good...kind...manner,...because...of...your..
..caring..and..kind...nature.
If...at...any...time...you...need...to...vent...drop...me..a...line..
uptall: thanks i did..... i just had to let her go i could not do anymore for her and my life was hell.... it's a shame.... but i still get the calls late at night tho..... it's sad... but what can you do when you have done all you can.... and for a very-very long time it's so sad for them............... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You...had...to...let...go...for..your..own...peace
of...mind,...and...to...have...a...normal...life.
Yes...its....sad....because...everyone....around...them.
..are....affected,by...this...Disease...called....Alcoholism!
More Threads
I'm a 53 YEAR'S YUNG MAN that lives back in the 80s
More Proof The GOP is a Criminal Organization
Democrats destroyed America
Why is this shameful?
s*xual skills
Gal / sdarlagg passed away on April 10, 2024
Kultur-multur
Unions support Democrats!
What happened to CS while i was away.. (Long time)
Ladies
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
Stats for this Thread
2,300 Views
41 Comments
in UK Forums
Created: Sep 2008
Last Viewed: 19 hrs ago
Last Commented: Nov 2008
0 Likes
Related Forums
- I'm a 53 YEAR'S YUNG MAN that lives back in the 80s
- More Proof The GOP is a Criminal Organization
- Democrats destroyed America
- Why is this shameful?
- s*xual skills
- Gal / sdarlagg passed away on April 10, 2024
- Kultur-multur
- Unions support Democrats!
- What happened to CS while i was away.. (Long time)
- Ladies