Rejection is very painful for sure.................... (74)
Rejection is one problem I don't have.
I have been rejected so much, I am use to it!!
I have been rejected so much, I am use to it!!
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I am usually the one who rejects...
I know me bad..
but not worthy to anyone
I know me bad..
but not worthy to anyone
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mbcasey: Rejection is one problem I don't have.
I have been rejected so much, I am use to it!!
I have been rejected so much, I am use to it!!
I hope I will never get desensitized like that Ken.
I want to feel it no matter how often.
I never blame the next person for what the last one did to me.
I start all over again.
Do I leave myself open to get hurt more?
Yep I do, but it would not be me to do otherwise.
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Not always easy but we can always learn from these experiences. If it doesn't kill ya, it makes ya stronger. I truely believe that....
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shyatfirst: Not always easy but we can always learn from these experiences. If it doesn't kill ya, it makes ya stronger. I truely believe that....
I soo agree. It became a fore runner for worse to come in later life.
Yes I became stronger, not hard or bitter.
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hollandgirl: I hope I will never get desensitized like that Ken.
I want to feel it no matter how often.
I never blame the next person for what the last one did to me.
I start all over again.
Do I leave myself open to get hurt more?
Yep I do, but it would not be me to do otherwise.
I want to feel it no matter how often.
I never blame the next person for what the last one did to me.
I start all over again.
Do I leave myself open to get hurt more?
Yep I do, but it would not be me to do otherwise.
You will never desensitize Jenny...you have been blessed to be accepted more than once in your life. The "big" life occurances have happened for you.
In life experiences, feeling the pain of rejection is a good thing. Becoming numb to it is disheartening.
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hollandgirl: This is very painful to say the least.
What did I do to deserve this? is the first thing we ask.
What did I do wrong? Could I have done something to prevent it from
happening?
We blame ourselves first and can get stuck in that question.
Well maybe we are really not to be blamed but the other person is.
In my case is was my mother first, she would tell me that I irritated her.
Found out later my mother had to give up her first born or my dad would not have married her. She resented me for that reason.
This first baby came about after a 8 year long engament.
The man dropped my mom when she became pregnant.
The second rejection came when the man I had met at fourteen and came to Canada with, started to cheat to bolster his ego.
So there I was 28 years old and had no clue about dating etc.
I always had my husband to take care of things and now at this age I stood alone for the first time.
I was unbelieveable naive and been told just a few days ago, can still be so today.
So many smaller in comparison rejections, but they don't count.
What did I do to deserve this? is the first thing we ask.
What did I do wrong? Could I have done something to prevent it from
happening?
We blame ourselves first and can get stuck in that question.
Well maybe we are really not to be blamed but the other person is.
In my case is was my mother first, she would tell me that I irritated her.
Found out later my mother had to give up her first born or my dad would not have married her. She resented me for that reason.
This first baby came about after a 8 year long engament.
The man dropped my mom when she became pregnant.
The second rejection came when the man I had met at fourteen and came to Canada with, started to cheat to bolster his ego.
So there I was 28 years old and had no clue about dating etc.
I always had my husband to take care of things and now at this age I stood alone for the first time.
I was unbelieveable naive and been told just a few days ago, can still be so today.
So many smaller in comparison rejections, but they don't count.
That's why I learned a long time ago to quit asking those questions...they can't be answered....probably don't need to be...because the answers aren't gonna change the outcome....It's easier to just deal with the way things are....accept them....do the work necessary to get you to a place of peace and look at how you can do things differently the next time....there doesn't have to be blame for healing enough to move onto the next relationship but by doing the inner work necessary on yourself...it improves not only you but also your chances of not attracting the same kind of partner!!!!!!!!
That's why I learned a long time ago to quit asking those questions...they can't be answered....probably don't need to be...because the answers aren't gonna change the outcome
The fixation with having to answer unanswerable questions will keep you stuck in a sea of resentment and negativity and leave you with the inability to heal and move on....
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As someone with avoidant personality disorder, I understand that pain all too well.
Feel better holly :] We wont reject you any! (and don't pay attention to those who do, they suck)
Feel better holly :] We wont reject you any! (and don't pay attention to those who do, they suck)
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Just like any pain rather emotionally , physical or matters of the heart you just heal the best you can , get up and brush your self off. Put the past behind you, cause so long as you live there you aren't living greatly in the present.
Make every moment worthwhile and the future will take care of it self.
Make every moment worthwhile and the future will take care of it self.
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The best way to avoid rejection is to not put yourself in a position to be rejected!!
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If & when one rejects me, I simply do not take it personally.. Why would I want someone in my life that does not want to be there?
It ain't got nuttin do with me.....
It ain't got nuttin do with me.....
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mbcasey: You will never desensitize Jenny...you have been blessed to be accepted more than once in your life. The "big" life occurances have happened for you.
In life experiences, feeling the pain of rejection is a good thing. Becoming numb to it is disheartening.
In life experiences, feeling the pain of rejection is a good thing. Becoming numb to it is disheartening.
Thank you Ken for your kind words.
Yes I hear you and pray that one day soon you too will find
someone too love and a love that is lasting.
I have been told that in general people when older become
hard and bitter.
That is why I want/need to feel the pain Ken
as I never hope to become thus.
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hollandgirl: I realized later in life the things that had been done to her.
It helped to forgive her.
Eventhough on my last visit to Holland she kicked me out at 11 o'clock at night.
I had served guest a drink in the wrong glass, according to her.
She phoned my sisters the next day, where I had gone by taxi, and they told her they had not seen me.
Jenny most likely went to the Salvation Army they told her.
She said she did not care and was not a bit sorry she had told me to get out.
People often pass on what they have learned in their own childhood.
Some do the very opposite, others repeat the pattern
It helped to forgive her.
Eventhough on my last visit to Holland she kicked me out at 11 o'clock at night.
I had served guest a drink in the wrong glass, according to her.
She phoned my sisters the next day, where I had gone by taxi, and they told her they had not seen me.
Jenny most likely went to the Salvation Army they told her.
She said she did not care and was not a bit sorry she had told me to get out.
People often pass on what they have learned in their own childhood.
Some do the very opposite, others repeat the pattern
some pretty horrible things have happened me jenny n i wud never ever in a million yrs do on my daughter wot she done on me im the total opposite i tell my daughter every day how much i love her i hug n have snuggles everyday with her the final straw wit my mother was when she threw me n my 6week old daughter out on the street in the freezin cold because i put her handbag on the floor to sit down n feed my daughter
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hollandgirl: T
I have been told that in general people when older become
hard and bitter.
I have been told that in general people when older become
hard and bitter.
Just look at me for example....
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HJFinAZ: If & when one rejects me, I simply do not take it personally.. Why would I want someone in my life that does not want to be there?
It ain't got nuttin do with me.....
It ain't got nuttin do with me.....
Pat I agree with you. I wouldn't want someone in my life who didn't really and truly want to be with me.
I'd much rather be lonely and alone then with be with someone who didn't really love me and still be alone.
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somechick: Pat I agree with you. I wouldn't want someone in my life who didn't really and truly want to be with me.
I'd much rather be lonely and alone then with be with someone who didn't really love me and still be alone.
I'd much rather be lonely and alone then with be with someone who didn't really love me and still be alone.
I may"live" alone (except for mom), but I am never alone and surely not lonely..
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hollandgirl: I hope I will never get desensitized like that Ken.
I want to feel it no matter how often.
I never blame the next person for what the last one did to me.
I start all over again.
Do I leave myself open to get hurt more?
Yep I do, but it would not be me to do otherwise.
I want to feel it no matter how often.
I never blame the next person for what the last one did to me.
I start all over again.
Do I leave myself open to get hurt more?
Yep I do, but it would not be me to do otherwise.
Bless you, Jenny, for being so open like that. I, too, start from scratch each time. I don't hold on to the baggage from the last one because I realize that each is different.
However, I understand what Ken is saying too...rejection doesn't hurt as much after you've felt it enough.
And Jenny...I share the rejection from your mother issue. I read a magazine of hers once and found a survey she'd taken...only to find that although she really never wanted children, the one she wanted least was me. She'd had a miscarriage before getting pregnant with me, and had not been ready to be pregnant again. I was 40 when I got the first real hug from her that I can remember (as opposed to those "socialite"-type fake ones)...but at least I have that memory. It did help me to understand her even better, and to forgive a lot of the things she'd done...that, along with acceptance that she really didn't remember any of it, and that I can't change who she is. I love her dearly, and she taught me to be strong. That early strength carried me through other, harder, things. Because of her, I am a survivor...and I triumph over the bad things in my life.
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There are usually at least a half dozen people in & out of my house everyday. there have been times when I was gone, and someone would show up and put the coffee on so it is ready when I get there..
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The fixation with having to answer unanswerable questions will keep you stuck in a sea of resentment and negativity and leave you with the inability to heal and move on....
For myself I have learned to accept these rejections and dealt with it.
No resentment or negativity here, as I have forgiven a long time ago because I learned to understand where it was coming from.
For myself I have learned to accept these rejections and dealt with it.
No resentment or negativity here, as I have forgiven a long time ago because I learned to understand where it was coming from.
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Created: Oct 2008
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What did I do to deserve this? is the first thing we ask.
What did I do wrong? Could I have done something to prevent it from
happening?
We blame ourselves first and can get stuck in that question.
Well maybe we are really not to be blamed but the other person is.
In my case is was my mother first, she would tell me that I irritated her.
Found out later my mother had to give up her first born or my dad would not have married her. She resented me for that reason.
This first baby came about after a 8 year long engament.
The man dropped my mom when she became pregnant.
The second rejection came when the man I had met at fourteen and came to Canada with, started to cheat to bolster his ego.
So there I was 28 years old and had no clue about dating etc.
I always had my husband to take care of things and now at this age I stood alone for the first time.
I was unbelieveable naive and been told just a few days ago, can still be so today.
So many smaller in comparison rejections, but they don't count.