Is it better to be loved or to love ???? :) (160)
virgosign: hi giuri,
i think we are on the same plane but looking at it from different angles. i agree with your post if i was seeing things from your angle, but from where i stand, i reiterate that really 'falling in love' with somebody puts one in a position where they probably cannot rationalise the situation and therefore there is no choice to be made.
don't we know cases where people in a decent and happy marriage/relationship still fall for a third person with the inevitable disastrous (for all concerned) result . . . .
i think we are on the same plane but looking at it from different angles. i agree with your post if i was seeing things from your angle, but from where i stand, i reiterate that really 'falling in love' with somebody puts one in a position where they probably cannot rationalise the situation and therefore there is no choice to be made.
don't we know cases where people in a decent and happy marriage/relationship still fall for a third person with the inevitable disastrous (for all concerned) result . . . .
There are always extenuating circumstances in this instance, in that the marriage was not happy or one or other of the person's needs was not being met, or there was no love in the first place of the kind that just gives from both sides, or whatever, ........but the partner who strays has to be willing to be led astray first for it to happen.
It is a choice. It is often selfish in it's base too, like 'A' would make me happier than 'B'. So no unslefish love there for their partner or self respect themselves. Also no communication with the partner they have that their needs are not being met or comparomises made.
virgosign: cannot agree 100% with you on this one.
love hits you (that's why it is depicted with a bow and arrowed cupid).
imo, looking for a particular kind of person in a particular way - when / if found - and if reciprocated, then these two have to work towards falling in love with each other. initially it's mutual respect, a lot of attraction and working together to make the relationship work by adding the 'falling in love' part
love hits you (that's why it is depicted with a bow and arrowed cupid).
imo, looking for a particular kind of person in a particular way - when / if found - and if reciprocated, then these two have to work towards falling in love with each other. initially it's mutual respect, a lot of attraction and working together to make the relationship work by adding the 'falling in love' part
In response to: (that's why it is depicted with a bow and arrowed cupid).
That Little Idiot can't Shoot Straight!
virgosign: cannot agree 100% with you on this one.
love hits you (that's why it is depicted with a bow and arrowed cupid).
imo, looking for a particular kind of person in a particular way - when / if found - and if reciprocated, then these two have to work towards falling in love with each other. initially it's mutual respect, a lot of attraction and working together to make the relationship work by adding the 'falling in love' part
love hits you (that's why it is depicted with a bow and arrowed cupid).
imo, looking for a particular kind of person in a particular way - when / if found - and if reciprocated, then these two have to work towards falling in love with each other. initially it's mutual respect, a lot of attraction and working together to make the relationship work by adding the 'falling in love' part
Falling in love is a choice too........be it at the beginning or later.
And why does it have to be Either -Or all the time?
Conrad73: That Little Idiot can't Shoot Straight!
Those storytellers have a lot to answer for..........
Hi Conrad.
Conrad73: That Little Idiot can't Shoot Straight!
hi conrad.
Conrad73: And why does it have to be Either -Or all the time?
Falling in love?
gingerb:
ps Giving love also takes many forms...........
ps Giving love also takes many forms...........
I'm in total agreement sweetcheeks..theres volley-ball and snooker for starters..
gingerb: This is exactly what I was talking about, people believing and thinking to themselves their own scenarios, ........excuses for why they are in a mess. It is often way beyond what a person feels comfortable with, to take responsibility for their own pickle that they got themselves into, or why they stay in it.
But, reality is, it is no one's fault but their own. We are all ultimately only responsible for our own lives and happiness.....
No one makes you do anything. If they did they would be in prison. We all do these things to ourselves. We f@ck up. It might sound calous, but we do make that bed. Thing is, if we can access sommon sense we can get up out of it and move on with a bit of experience we can use later in life......
It's about accountability....
But, reality is, it is no one's fault but their own. We are all ultimately only responsible for our own lives and happiness.....
No one makes you do anything. If they did they would be in prison. We all do these things to ourselves. We f@ck up. It might sound calous, but we do make that bed. Thing is, if we can access sommon sense we can get up out of it and move on with a bit of experience we can use later in life......
It's about accountability....
Hi ginge, it's wonderful to be able to share opinions here.
I wonder if for some marriage does indeed become a prison? Not so much because of a lack of the nerve to face up to the mess one might have made as you suggest, but more because, for example, an extended family forces a, perhaps misplaced, sense of duty on the concerned party and he or she fears the consequences.
I have also heard of a case in which a marriage was a prison because the trapped person feared for their safety. I wonder if sometimes choice is not available - or better said, the choice is between staying in the marriage or risking death - I find your sentiments with respect to choice admirable but in reality I have to question the simplicity with which you present them.
gingerb: Those storytellers have a lot to answer for..........
Hi Conrad.
You Bet!Hi Conrad.
Hi Ginger
virgosign: hi conrad.
Hello 
Sereneadvocate: Any thoughts
My mom used to tell me....."get marry with the man who loves you, not that you love".....never did that.....my mistake, she was so right, now i did what she told me....and is great, you will be always pampered, and flattered, then the flame of the love is always on.....is when you realy begin to love your man.......it wont be just pasion.
(that is what i think)
Conrad73: Hello
hi Conrad.
please keep that cold weather up theremexikanska: My mom used to tell me....."get marry with the man who loves you, not that you love".....never did that.....my mistake, she was so right, now i did what she told me....and is great, you will be always pampered, and flattered, then the flame of the love is always on.....is when you realy begin to love your man.......it wont be just pasion.
(that is what i think)
(that is what i think)
hello again Mexi
I am going to keep you to the offer of posting authentic Mexican food recipes
Conrad73: That Little Idiot can't Shoot Straight!
Why you think "Cupid" rymes with "Stupid".....?
There`s a song called Stupid Cupid ........
guiriman: hi Conrad. please keep that cold weather up there
Damn thing's spreading like Marmalade!
smoky: Why you think "Cupid" rymes with "Stupid".....?
There`s a song called Stupid Cupid ........
There was a Warner Brothers Cartoon once,with Elmer Fudd playing the Stoopid Cupid!There`s a song called Stupid Cupid ........
Now back to our Previous Programming,if I could remember what it was.
guiriman: Hi ginge, it's wonderful to be able to share opinions here.
I wonder if for some marriage does indeed become a prison? Not so much because of a lack of the nerve to face up to the mess one might have made as you suggest, but more because, for example, an extended family forces a, perhaps misplaced, sense of duty on the concerned party and he or she fears the consequences.
Fear.........The ultimate four letter word.........
I have also heard of a case in which a marriage was a prison because the trapped person feared for their safety. I wonder if sometimes choice is not available - or better said, the choice is between staying in the marriage or risking death - I find your sentiments with respect to choice admirable but in reality I have to question the simplicity with which you present them.
I wonder if for some marriage does indeed become a prison? Not so much because of a lack of the nerve to face up to the mess one might have made as you suggest, but more because, for example, an extended family forces a, perhaps misplaced, sense of duty on the concerned party and he or she fears the consequences.
Fear.........The ultimate four letter word.........
I have also heard of a case in which a marriage was a prison because the trapped person feared for their safety. I wonder if sometimes choice is not available - or better said, the choice is between staying in the marriage or risking death - I find your sentiments with respect to choice admirable but in reality I have to question the simplicity with which you present them.
Any choice based on a negative emotion and not on reason, is doomed to failure. That is a hard-won lesson in life that I learned.
There are scenarios where people are in relationships based on fear of leaving. I used to be in one of those...........
All the emotional blackmail was laid on with a trowel, and I feared for my life, my kids, that I was going to destroy everyones life, hurt people, disappoint people, lose the love of my kids, the list is endlesss because I feared everything, the ultimate worrier.......until........I realised that I could either buy into that, or start taking charge of my own life and it's consequences.
BUT, and it is a big but........ you have to be willing!!!
If you are willing, then you look for ways to make it work and not excuses for still doing the same old thing. When you look, ther are many ways of dealing with those kinds of situations, and plenty of help out there.
There are plenty of good people willing to help, but it is like some kind of unseen code. It's like a switch goes on when you are ready and willing........Nothing happens until you make that choice, then help comes out of the woodwork. It was there all the time, but you couldn't see it for all the barriers you put up in your brain as to why not to do it. Fear again. When you move it out of the way, then life can be good, in fact great, for everyone, and you can get what you need.
You will find , too , that people get over themselves and move on because you did. And it doesn't have to get to a life threatening stage before that happens.
It's just that for some people, that's what it takes to shift them into gear.
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Base line is, that you put yourself in the way of wanting love from a particular kind of person in a particular way.
Love doesn't choose you. You choose where you find it, and then think and feel your way into it, believing your own scenario as to what it is.
People only say love is blind because they can't live with the fact they made the wrong choice..........Its people who are blind.
cannot agree 100% with you on this one.
love hits you (that's why it is depicted with a bow and arrowed cupid).
imo, looking for a particular kind of person in a particular way - when / if found - and if reciprocated, then these two have to work towards falling in love with each other. initially it's mutual respect, a lot of attraction and working together to make the relationship work by adding the 'falling in love' part