To all the single people that has a hard time during the holiday season ( Archived) (48)

I myself have a very hard time during the holiday season. If your feeling down or need someone to talk to I am here and a shoulder to cry on or to listen. I always choose to work on Christmas so that I am not alone. Sure I have grown children that I could spend time with. But I would rather work and let the ones with small children be at home with them.
Since my divorce 10 years ago things are not the same. I'll admit that at times like this I want to think back to the happy times when we were all a happy family. But the reality is that was then and this is now! Times have changed and I just need to move on. But is it really that easy?
Maybe what I am about to say is to much information for some. But I just feel the need tonight to say it so here it goes.
And I hope that if it will save at least 1 person during the holidays it was worth it.
I was involved with a man from the UK for 2 years. We were doing the K1 visa and life was good or I thought. Many visits across the pond for him and lots of times together. He called at least 2 if not 3 times a day during these 2 years. ( Mind you it was always his doing do pay for the visa). He had 4 sons that he was very close to and I had talked to on the phone and exchanged letters, cards and pictures.
When it came time for the interview he told me that he could not leave his country nor his sons.
My oldest daughter and I have had a rocky relationship due to me being basically a child raising her. I was 17 when she was born. And when I got divorced (he was not her father) she felt her money source was gone. So she turned on me and it was all about "dad" and she had never called him that during my 19 years of marriage. Now things are great with her and it has taken a lot of time and her going through counseling to get to this point though.
But the guy in the UK and been involved in a terrible automobile accident with his friend. And his friend was killed due to a drunk driver this was in Dec 2004.
I was invited out for New Years 2004 with friends from work. It all seemed good till I saw all the happy couples at the stroke of midnight kissing and having a good time. I felt so alone at that time and was not happy at all. I wanted my partner I guess with me. So on Jan 3 I was very depressed and called him. He asked if I had been drinking which I answered honestly....YES. he told me he had no time for a "drunk" due to his friend just dying to a drunk driver. My oldest daughter that I have spoken of called me on Christmas while I was at work and told me she would be better off if I were dead. I was at the pits of hell at this time I can assure you.
So I drank ALOT that night and decided to end my life with quite a few pills. I was found and taken to the the hospital that I work at and put on life support. I was transferred after several days in ICU to a much larger facility that would handle my problems. ARDS along with mucus plug and many other respiratory problems. I stayed on life support for a total of 17 days!
Thank God on day 17 they were able to wen me off the vent and I was able to breath on my own. My family was told during all this to prepare for my funeral and that if I lived I would need to be in a nursing home at the least. And learn how to do everything again.
You might be thinking why is this WV lady telling all this right now as you read it. I am because I know their is another man or woman like me that will going through some mental and emotional trauma this holiday season.
And I just want to say it is OK to fell the hurt and pain that is going on. But please never try to end your life due to it. I was a lucky one to be able to have a life again. If during the holidays your down and depressed go to your local er or call your best friend.! Nothing that we experience is worth ending it all.
God Bless you all!

Thank you for sharing that, Shirley. You're very brave to share all of that for the sake of others.

This is the time of year that a lot of people commit, or think about, suicide because they think that their lives are worthless and they feel so alone.

It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and just not worth it. I'm here too for anyone that needs someone to reach out to...especially on the actual holidays. I have no family to spend them with, so I'll be here.

Nobody is alone, and if you really feel that way, reach out and we'll let you know that somebody cares that you're here. Start a thread...you'll get the solace you need. Virtual hugs feel almost as good, and are certainly as comforting, as RL ones...I've certainly found that out here myself.



to all.

Thank you for replying. I know it is really putting myself out their where most people would never dare to go. But I just wanted anyone to know that their are people that cares.......

And it is ok is your sad and feeling down. Their are people here that will take you under their wing. Just reach out .............

Absolutely...I have wide wings, and I am here too.

Many don't. I post my story when it relates to a thread because I know that there are others who have had similar experiences, and if I help one person, it's worth sharing it. Plus, somehow it's easier to share online with "virtual" friends than in person.

But to start a thread and put your story out there like that takes a lot of guts...and a ton of heart. Blessings, Shirley.

Shirley,

Thank you. I understand the despair that can go on. Earlier this year, I also felt the need to end it all. I had everything mapped out, how they were going to find my body, how I was going to commit the suicide and even the point of who got what of my belongings.

At that dark moment, something inside of me told me to wake up and that I had a purpose still and to, if I can reach out, give hope to those that needed it.

I woke up, shook off the despair and laughed at what was going to take me down. My best friend even came over and watched over me to make sure I recovered. To this day, he is more of a brother to me, then a friend. I have never really told anyone what occurred with me, but since you shared your story, I felt it was right for me to share mine.

After that, my favorite qoute that I came up with was - Hug a single friend, you might have prevented a suicide.

So, I hope you have a wonderful holidays and I am here too, if you or someone needs to talk to.



-Robert

I under stand what you are saying, I my self was going to swall a 12 gage slug, But I didn't wont my family to clean up the mess