The Ex Won,the Kids Lost,Where Do You Go From Here? (123)
dcj22Somewhere, Tennessee USA102 Threads 3 Polls 11,581 PostsCan we please stay on topic for this one discussion? This is serious. The man has lost his children. Other people are pouring their hearts out to try to help this man. Petty squabbles and personal disagreements have no place in this thread.
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Dear OP,
No one is making light of the sad situation you find yourself in,
it must be devestating ,
my prayers are with you for a solution .
Best of luck
No one is making light of the sad situation you find yourself in,
it must be devestating ,
my prayers are with you for a solution .
Best of luck
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livinglarge: Dear OP,
No one is making light of the sad situation you find yourself in,
it must be devestating ,
my prayers are with you for a solution .
Best of luck
No one is making light of the sad situation you find yourself in,
it must be devestating ,
my prayers are with you for a solution .
Best of luck
thank you Moderaters for leaving this one on,
I ment it from the bottom of my hart !!
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RayfromUSA: I had to start over like that once.
It surely does suck, doesn't it?
It's not looking after yourself that's hard.
It's not having the ones you love to look after.
There isn't any easy formula or quick cure.
It's gonna take time.
And it's gonna change you.
Like one song says:
"Life's heartaches can be hard to take
They can make you bitter,
or they can make you break"
That sort of "breaking" has a good side.
It deepens your capacity for understanding and comforting others.
But it hurts so bad.
I hope you have at least one close friend you can confide in through this period.
It surely does suck, doesn't it?
It's not looking after yourself that's hard.
It's not having the ones you love to look after.
There isn't any easy formula or quick cure.
It's gonna take time.
And it's gonna change you.
Like one song says:
"Life's heartaches can be hard to take
They can make you bitter,
or they can make you break"
That sort of "breaking" has a good side.
It deepens your capacity for understanding and comforting others.
But it hurts so bad.
I hope you have at least one close friend you can confide in through this period.
Amen to that!
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well jona just to let you know you already begin by continue being the father no matter how hard it is. keep your head high and dont let nothing stop you, i know ive ben there. this web site is also a good start. in two days being on this site i think i met someone who i really was looking for without even meeting them in person. i hope this helps and good luck.
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To add to what I wrote about before, I just discovered last night that my oldest son is now married (I went snooping on his step mom's my space page). I wasn't informed or invited to the wedding.
Yes, I cried for being left out. But I also said a deeply heartfelt prayer that they will have a long and happy marriage.
Then I decided to try and email my new daughter-in-law (she's listed as one of my son's friends). My hope is that she'll read it, pass on the information & how she felt about it to my son, and that maybe someday he'll re-establish contact & I'll get to meet her.
Until then, as I've said before & others have said, just have to carry on. So basically, if I can do it and survive all this that I've gone through, you can Jonah.
Yes, I cried for being left out. But I also said a deeply heartfelt prayer that they will have a long and happy marriage.
Then I decided to try and email my new daughter-in-law (she's listed as one of my son's friends). My hope is that she'll read it, pass on the information & how she felt about it to my son, and that maybe someday he'll re-establish contact & I'll get to meet her.
Until then, as I've said before & others have said, just have to carry on. So basically, if I can do it and survive all this that I've gone through, you can Jonah.
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hrt4lse: To add to what I wrote about before, I just discovered last night that my oldest son is now married (I went snooping on his step mom's my space page). I wasn't informed or invited to the wedding.
Yes, I cried for being left out. But I also said a deeply heartfelt prayer that they will have a long and happy marriage.
Then I decided to try and email my new daughter-in-law (she's listed as one of my son's friends). My hope is that she'll read it, pass on the information & how she felt about it to my son, and that maybe someday he'll re-establish contact & I'll get to meet her.
Until then, as I've said before & others have said, just have to carry on. So basically, if I can do it and survive all this that I've gone through, you can Jonah.
Yes, I cried for being left out. But I also said a deeply heartfelt prayer that they will have a long and happy marriage.
Then I decided to try and email my new daughter-in-law (she's listed as one of my son's friends). My hope is that she'll read it, pass on the information & how she felt about it to my son, and that maybe someday he'll re-establish contact & I'll get to meet her.
Until then, as I've said before & others have said, just have to carry on. So basically, if I can do it and survive all this that I've gone through, you can Jonah.
Big hugs to you sister! I've been kept away from children before too. And now the oldest one hardly ever comes around. I couldn't possibly imagination what you're going through being left out of your own child's wedding. I have no words............
Merky
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hopefloats: Big hugs to you sister! I've been kept away from my own children before too. And now the oldest one hardly ever comes around. I couldn't possibly imagination what you're going through being left out of your own child's wedding. I have no words............
Merky
Merky
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DCJ,Hope Floats and others...thanks so much for your empathy. It was the most important court hearing of my life and I wish I had the best lawyer,but I didnt. I mean,I understand lawyers don't want to fight,make waves,etc...but in my case with all the crap I have been through in the last year,I needed one that was willing to fight for me,not to go with the flow. I hate to digress on this thread,but one poster talked about my Mom? and me wanting to look after Myself? My mom lived in a different city and I haven't lived with her since I was 18yrs old? Also,the notation about my saying I have to look after myself now...it so true. I have only done everything for my kids for the last 10yrs. I don't regret one second of it,and I know it will come back to me...but NOW I have to actually learn to care for myself again,like I did before they were born and before I got married. I will always love my kids and care for them,but I DON'T CARE for them now...meaning,I can't take them to school,doctor,etc. like I have been for so many years. It is the same thing I had to do when I got divorced...look after me. It is hard for some people to do that...I am so much into caring for certain people and it is hard to LET GO! We have to or we will be crushed like I am now. Losing my Mom and my kids in 2wks is soooo much to handle at one time. I hope most people are close to their Moms,you only have one...and your kids,you only have them. Picking up the pieces is going to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Bill Murray comes to mind..."baby steps",I need to take baby steps,not jump into something. I believe moving is the best thing to do first,not out of the state or country,but out of my current address. Would love your thoughts on that. BTW,I am Wayne,jonahtrials is my username and my son....perfect,huh? jonah...trials
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jonahstrials: DCJ,Hope Floats and others...thanks so much for your empathy. It was the most important court hearing of my life and I wish I had the best lawyer,but I didnt. I mean,I understand lawyers don't want to fight,make waves,etc...but in my case with all the crap I have been through in the last year,I needed one that was willing to fight for me,not to go with the flow. I hate to digress on this thread,but one poster talked about my Mom? and me wanting to look after Myself? My mom lived in a different city and I haven't lived with her since I was 18yrs old? Also,the notation about my saying I have to look after myself now...it so true. I have only done everything for my kids for the last 10yrs. I don't regret one second of it,and I know it will come back to me...but NOW I have to actually learn to care for myself again,like I did before they were born and before I got married. I will always love my kids and care for them,but I DON'T CARE for them now...meaning,I can't take them to school,doctor,etc. like I have been for so many years. It is the same thing I had to do when I got divorced...look after me. It is hard for some people to do that...I am so much into caring for certain people and it is hard to LET GO! We have to or we will be crushed like I am now. Losing my Mom and my kids in 2wks is soooo much to handle at one time. I hope most people are close to their Moms,you only have one...and your kids,you only have them. Picking up the pieces is going to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Bill Murray comes to mind..."baby steps",I need to take baby steps,not jump into something. I believe moving is the best thing to do first,not out of the state or country,but out of my current address. Would love your thoughts on that. BTW,I am Wayne,jonahtrials is my username and my son....perfect,huh? jonah...trials
I understood what you were saying. I'm close to my parents too. In fact they went to every single court date with me, which really helped because I was always a bundle of nerves.
Like you, while I had my kids, everything I did was for them. I think having to get used to a quiet house was one of the hardest things I had to do. For the longest time, after losing custody and visitation, I had taken all their pictures down. They're back up now.
So yes, baby steps. Moving would be good, as long as you make sure Jonah knows how to contact you. I'm still in the same state, but I'm like 3 hours north of were I used to live. My decision to move was made after the youngest told me he didn't want to see me anymore. So moving & getting away from people who were always asking about him seemed the best thing to do.
Picking up the pieces IS hard, but you do it. You have to continue on for the day when you're son is able to make his own decisions. Hang in there Wayne.
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