Emotionally stable (192)
Ambrose2007: Well, I think feeling exactly the same way all the time would be rather absurd, and not an ideal at all. Different emotions seem entirely appropriate - if not inescapably attached - to different circumstances. Would you truly not wish to experience the special joy of (say) a wonderful lovemaking session, a hike to the top of a gorgeous mountain, or an exhilarating ski run - as opposed to the emotions generated by being stuck in traffic, dragging yourself out of bed Monday morning, or enduring the death of a close friend?
Stability cannot sensibly refer to a "monotonal" emotional state - that would be the province of zombies.
Stability cannot sensibly refer to a "monotonal" emotional state - that would be the province of zombies.
so ... only zombies are emotionally stable
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Ambrose2007: Well, I think feeling exactly the same way all the time would be rather absurd, and not an ideal at all. Different emotions seem entirely appropriate - if not inescapably attached - to different circumstances. Would you truly not wish to experience the special joy of (say) a wonderful lovemaking session, a hike to the top of a gorgeous mountain, or an exhilarating ski run - as opposed to the emotions generated by being stuck in traffic, dragging yourself out of bed Monday morning, or enduring the death of a close friend?
Stability cannot sensibly refer to a "monotonal" emotional state - that would be the province of zombies.
Stability cannot sensibly refer to a "monotonal" emotional state - that would be the province of zombies.
Ah, you have been succint there Jeff, and you raise good points.
I am an emotional person, in that I feel, so joy, passion, smiling, being happy is part of my daily life, I am that way, so in that I glean enjoyment from something as simple as walking down the street, sadness and upset are part of that day as well, all of the emotions that I feel, I embrace, none of them are bad emotions to me, they are part of life, my life.
So when I say, I am the same, it is not monotonal, it is the way I am, I feel and hurt like the next person, it is just that I am tooled enough to be able to deal with them.
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If a person cries, feels sadness, then does that make them emotionally unstable?
No.
There is nothing unstable about showing any kind of emotion, nothing at all.
No.
There is nothing unstable about showing any kind of emotion, nothing at all.
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Kitten2988: I think most potential partners want someone who is emotionally stable.
Who wants drama?
Who wants drama?
LOTS of people love drama. More accurately, they like its positive elements (for instance, falling in love is almost always dramatic), but don't like it's negative consequences.
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JacobGrimm: so ... only zombies are emotionally stable
If by "stable" one means "emotionally invariant."
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Sommerauer71: Ah, you have been succint there Jeff, and you raise good points.
I am an emotional person, in that I feel, so joy, passion, smiling, being happy is part of my daily life, I am that way, so in that I glean enjoyment from something as simple as walking down the street, sadness and upset are part of that day as well, all of the emotions that I feel, I embrace, none of them are bad emotions to me, they are part of life, my life.
So when I say, I am the same, it is not monotonal, it is the way I am, I feel and hurt like the next person, it is just that I am tooled enough to be able to deal with them.
I am an emotional person, in that I feel, so joy, passion, smiling, being happy is part of my daily life, I am that way, so in that I glean enjoyment from something as simple as walking down the street, sadness and upset are part of that day as well, all of the emotions that I feel, I embrace, none of them are bad emotions to me, they are part of life, my life.
So when I say, I am the same, it is not monotonal, it is the way I am, I feel and hurt like the next person, it is just that I am tooled enough to be able to deal with them.
Right, Sommer, and that's what I assumed was the case - much like what Laura was saying.
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Ambrose2007: If by "stable" one means "emotionally invariant."
You're mixing meat-a-phors
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Ambrose2007: LOTS of people love drama. More accurately, they like its positive elements (for instance, falling in love is almost always dramatic), but don't like it's negative consequences.
It is dramatic yes and a feeling that we become addicted to.
I have learnt from the negatives from my marriage and my last long relationship, because it was something that I knew I had played my part in.
Which takes me back to acceptance, accepting that any relationship is not usually the fault of one party, it takes two to make a relationship work and two to make one fail.
My ex husband left me for woman ten years younger than me, I could have sat in that misery for years, emotional stability and intelligence made me face up to the part I played in that break up and it did, it was not all of his fault, he ran to another for comfort and I stayed alone. Because I knew I had to, to recover. I did. But I hold no issue with him and his partner now, we are quite the nuclear family with us all getting along nicely.
That is emotional stability, acceptance. Being tooled enough to know that we can and will recover. The negatives are there when it goes wrong, but we need to feel the negatives to learn and recover.
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Ambrose2007: Right, Sommer, and that's what I assumed was the case - much like what Laura was saying.
Yes, Laura was right, there are no wrong or right answers are there Jeff? Only views, opinions and experience.
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Ambrose2007: Well, I think feeling exactly the same way all the time would be rather absurd, and not an ideal at all. Different emotions seem entirely appropriate - if not inescapably attached - to different circumstances. Would you truly not wish to experience the special joy of (say) a wonderful lovemaking session, a hike to the top of a gorgeous mountain, or an exhilarating ski run - as opposed to the emotions generated by being stuck in traffic, dragging yourself out of bed Monday morning, or enduring the death of a close friend?
Stability cannot sensibly refer to a "monotonal" emotional state - that would be the province of zombies.
Stability cannot sensibly refer to a "monotonal" emotional state - that would be the province of zombies.
Well of course, I agree with this, we all have surges of emotional instability when we encounter such things. This is positive instability and to be rejoiced, except of course the sad facts of life we all have to meet eventually like bereavement. However, my previous post, when referring to instability, does not mean the same thing at all.
I was talking about the instability which arises from extreme, negative trauma and addictions (alcohol, drugs etc). These things do not have the temporary high associated with the things you mention, but often a severe character change/moods which prevents any long-term, successful interraction with another.
And sorry to say, but there is without doubt a large proportion of membership here in this boat, suffering this type of emotional instability.
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Sommerauer71: It is dramatic yes and a feeling that we become addicted to.
I have learnt from the negatives from my marriage and my last long relationship, because it was something that I knew I had played my part in.
Which takes me back to acceptance, accepting that any relationship is not usually the fault of one party, it takes two to make a relationship work and two to make one fail.
My ex husband left me for woman ten years younger than me, I could have sat in that misery for years, emotional stability and intelligence made me face up to the part I played in that break up and it did, it was not all of his fault, he ran to another for comfort and I stayed alone. Because I knew I had to, to recover. I did. But I hold no issue with him and his partner now, we are quite the nuclear family with us all getting along nicely.
That is emotional stability, acceptance. Being tooled enough to know that we can and will recover. The negatives are there when it goes wrong, but we need to feel the negatives to learn and recover.
I have learnt from the negatives from my marriage and my last long relationship, because it was something that I knew I had played my part in.
Which takes me back to acceptance, accepting that any relationship is not usually the fault of one party, it takes two to make a relationship work and two to make one fail.
My ex husband left me for woman ten years younger than me, I could have sat in that misery for years, emotional stability and intelligence made me face up to the part I played in that break up and it did, it was not all of his fault, he ran to another for comfort and I stayed alone. Because I knew I had to, to recover. I did. But I hold no issue with him and his partner now, we are quite the nuclear family with us all getting along nicely.
That is emotional stability, acceptance. Being tooled enough to know that we can and will recover. The negatives are there when it goes wrong, but we need to feel the negatives to learn and recover.
Right - and I've always been amazed by - and admire you for - that accomplishment. Few people can pull that off (my love, gg, is one of them).
JB made an excellent point on another thread a day or so ago about the addictive side of the "love drama." Drama in general creates entertainment, excitement, and often a feeling of powerful bonding. That's the plus (potentially addictive) side. It can be hard to see the excitement in a relationship diminishing, so there can be a temptation to artificially maintain it through unhealthy or unnatural machinations.
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Ambrose2007: Right - and I've always been amazed by - and admire you for - that accomplishment. Few people can pull that off (my love, gg, is one of them).
JB made an excellent point on another thread a day or so ago about the addictive side of the "love drama." Drama in general creates entertainment, excitement, and often a feeling of powerful bonding. That's the plus (potentially addictive) side. It can be hard to see the excitement in a relationship diminishing, so there can be a temptation to artificially maintain it through unhealthy or unnatural machinations.
JB made an excellent point on another thread a day or so ago about the addictive side of the "love drama." Drama in general creates entertainment, excitement, and often a feeling of powerful bonding. That's the plus (potentially addictive) side. It can be hard to see the excitement in a relationship diminishing, so there can be a temptation to artificially maintain it through unhealthy or unnatural machinations.
I agree with JB, love is a drama in itself, we do become addicted to these feelings, especially at first, and yes, when a relationship begins to diminish then it is hard, but then it depends on how the people involved deal with it, if I felt my relationship was diminishing and he was losing interest, then I would ask him.
Wild horses will not make a person be with me if he does not want to be and I would be foolish to think otherwise. However much it hurts me.
And GG, is a lucky woman.
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Well, I think feeling exactly the same way all the time would be rather absurd, and not an ideal at all. Different emotions seem entirely appropriate - if not inescapably attached - to different circumstances. Would you truly not wish to experience the special joy of (say) a wonderful lovemaking session, a hike to the top of a gorgeous mountain, or an exhilarating ski run - as opposed to the emotions generated by being stuck in traffic, dragging yourself out of bed Monday morning, or enduring the death of a close friend?
Stability cannot sensibly refer to a "monotonal" emotional state - that would be the province of zombies.[/quote]
I would agree very much with what you are saying here, but would go further, and say that mental and emotional instability is an inability to express appropriate emotions consistant with the occasion.
For instance it would be showing instability in our emotional expression to smile if you were angry or being beaten or tortured, just as it would be wrong to not be able to express a feeling of joy with a whoop or laugh or shout or scream.
Many of the natural responses that small children have are actually appropriate responses emotionally to various situations, and many people spend most of their parental lives, taming down or eradicating these emotional responses in them, to socialise them, something I believe is wrong and screws people up in later life.
Many of the successful methods used to correct mental instability and emotional instability in adults, is to make them scream and cry and shout and do ridiculous things that make them laugh. They are also taught to re-live painful memories and express the appropriate responses in order to get better, even if what they express appears extreme.
I think that if one needs to shout, or dance around the kitchen, or scream, or beat hell out of a set of drums, cry, laugh or whatever the feeling inside you dictates, then it is appropriate to do it at that time, in keeping with what your holistic self needs to stay emotionally healthy.
Stability cannot sensibly refer to a "monotonal" emotional state - that would be the province of zombies.[/quote]
I would agree very much with what you are saying here, but would go further, and say that mental and emotional instability is an inability to express appropriate emotions consistant with the occasion.
For instance it would be showing instability in our emotional expression to smile if you were angry or being beaten or tortured, just as it would be wrong to not be able to express a feeling of joy with a whoop or laugh or shout or scream.
Many of the natural responses that small children have are actually appropriate responses emotionally to various situations, and many people spend most of their parental lives, taming down or eradicating these emotional responses in them, to socialise them, something I believe is wrong and screws people up in later life.
Many of the successful methods used to correct mental instability and emotional instability in adults, is to make them scream and cry and shout and do ridiculous things that make them laugh. They are also taught to re-live painful memories and express the appropriate responses in order to get better, even if what they express appears extreme.
I think that if one needs to shout, or dance around the kitchen, or scream, or beat hell out of a set of drums, cry, laugh or whatever the feeling inside you dictates, then it is appropriate to do it at that time, in keeping with what your holistic self needs to stay emotionally healthy.
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Ambrose2007: "Well, I think feeling exactly the same way all the time would be rather absurd, and not an ideal at all. Different emotions seem entirely appropriate - if not inescapably attached - to different circumstances. Would you truly not wish to experience the special joy of (say) a wonderful lovemaking session, a hike to the top of a gorgeous mountain, or an exhilarating ski run - as opposed to the emotions generated by being stuck in traffic, dragging yourself out of bed Monday morning, or enduring the death of a close friend?
Stability cannot sensibly refer to a "monotonal" emotional state - that would be the province of zombies".
Stability cannot sensibly refer to a "monotonal" emotional state - that would be the province of zombies".
Sorry quotes from ambrose didn't work in the last one...
I would agree very much with what you are saying here, but would go further, and say that mental and emotional instability is an inability to express appropriate emotions consistant with the occasion.
For instance it would be showing instability in our emotional expression to smile if you were angry or being beaten or tortured, just as it would be wrong to not be able to express a feeling of joy with a whoop or laugh or shout or scream.
Many of the natural responses that small children have are actually appropriate responses emotionally to various situations, and many people spend most of their parental lives, taming down or eradicating these emotional responses in them, to socialise them, something I believe is wrong and screws people up in later life.
Many of the successful methods used to correct mental instability and emotional instability in adults, is to make them scream and cry and shout and do ridiculous things that make them laugh. They are also taught to re-live painful memories and express the appropriate responses in order to get better, even if what they express appears extreme.
I think that if one needs to shout, or dance around the kitchen, or scream, or beat hell out of a set of drums, cry, laugh or whatever the feeling inside you dictates, then it is appropriate to do it at that time, in keeping with what your holistic self needs to stay emotionally healthy.
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gingerb: Well, I think feeling exactly the same way all the time would be rather absurd, and not an ideal at all. Different emotions seem entirely appropriate - if not inescapably attached - to different circumstances. Would you truly not wish to experience the special joy of (say) a wonderful lovemaking session, a hike to the top of a gorgeous mountain, or an exhilarating ski run - as opposed to the emotions generated by being stuck in traffic, dragging yourself out of bed Monday morning, or enduring the death of a close friend?
Stability cannot sensibly refer to a "monotonal" emotional state - that would be the province of zombies.
I would agree very much with what you are saying here, but would go further, and say that mental and emotional instability is an inability to express appropriate emotions consistant with the occasion.
For instance it would be showing instability in our emotional expression to smile if you were angry or being beaten or tortured, just as it would be wrong to not be able to express a feeling of joy with a whoop or laugh or shout or scream.
Many of the natural responses that small children have are actually appropriate responses emotionally to various situations, and many people spend most of their parental lives, taming down or eradicating these emotional responses in them, to socialise them, something I believe is wrong and screws people up in later life.
Many of the successful methods used to correct mental instability and emotional instability in adults, is to make them scream and cry and shout and do ridiculous things that make them laugh. They are also taught to re-live painful memories and express the appropriate responses in order to get better, even if what they express appears extreme.
I think that if one needs to shout, or dance around the kitchen, or scream, or beat hell out of a set of drums, cry, laugh or whatever the feeling inside you dictates, then it is appropriate to do it at that time, in keeping with what your holistic self needs to stay emotionally healthy.
Stability cannot sensibly refer to a "monotonal" emotional state - that would be the province of zombies.
I would agree very much with what you are saying here, but would go further, and say that mental and emotional instability is an inability to express appropriate emotions consistant with the occasion.
For instance it would be showing instability in our emotional expression to smile if you were angry or being beaten or tortured, just as it would be wrong to not be able to express a feeling of joy with a whoop or laugh or shout or scream.
Many of the natural responses that small children have are actually appropriate responses emotionally to various situations, and many people spend most of their parental lives, taming down or eradicating these emotional responses in them, to socialise them, something I believe is wrong and screws people up in later life.
Many of the successful methods used to correct mental instability and emotional instability in adults, is to make them scream and cry and shout and do ridiculous things that make them laugh. They are also taught to re-live painful memories and express the appropriate responses in order to get better, even if what they express appears extreme.
I think that if one needs to shout, or dance around the kitchen, or scream, or beat hell out of a set of drums, cry, laugh or whatever the feeling inside you dictates, then it is appropriate to do it at that time, in keeping with what your holistic self needs to stay emotionally healthy.
Yes, Ginger, that's what I was getting at. Different emotional states are appropriate for different circumstances. Thanks for spelling it out so well.
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X_REBEL: yes i agree...for some it's a good thing and it works for them. And i never claimed to be fully imune against it...i'm just at a level where most people are not...and i resolve all my issues myself...and it works for me and i'm content with that. I'm not closed for new viewpoints too resolve issues...and i'm not saying this outa arrrogance...
i totally agree with you 100%, noone else is going to resolve your problems, and we are pen to new viewpoints too resolve issues!!!
We are not invisible, even tho we think we are!!!
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gingerb: Sorry quotes from ambrose didn't work in the last one...
I would agree very much with what you are saying here, but would go further, and say that mental and emotional instability is an inability to express appropriate emotions consistant with the occasion.
For instance it would be showing instability in our emotional expression to smile if you were angry or being beaten or tortured, just as it would be wrong to not be able to express a feeling of joy with a whoop or laugh or shout or scream.
Many of the natural responses that small children have are actually appropriate responses emotionally to various situations, and many people spend most of their parental lives, taming down or eradicating these emotional responses in them, to socialise them, something I believe is wrong and screws people up in later life.
Many of the successful methods used to correct mental instability and emotional instability in adults, is to make them scream and cry and shout and do ridiculous things that make them laugh. They are also taught to re-live painful memories and express the appropriate responses in order to get better, even if what they express appears extreme.
I think that if one needs to shout, or dance around the kitchen, or scream, or beat hell out of a set of drums, cry, laugh or whatever the feeling inside you dictates, then it is appropriate to do it at that time, in keeping with what your holistic self needs to stay emotionally healthy.
I would agree very much with what you are saying here, but would go further, and say that mental and emotional instability is an inability to express appropriate emotions consistant with the occasion.
For instance it would be showing instability in our emotional expression to smile if you were angry or being beaten or tortured, just as it would be wrong to not be able to express a feeling of joy with a whoop or laugh or shout or scream.
Many of the natural responses that small children have are actually appropriate responses emotionally to various situations, and many people spend most of their parental lives, taming down or eradicating these emotional responses in them, to socialise them, something I believe is wrong and screws people up in later life.
Many of the successful methods used to correct mental instability and emotional instability in adults, is to make them scream and cry and shout and do ridiculous things that make them laugh. They are also taught to re-live painful memories and express the appropriate responses in order to get better, even if what they express appears extreme.
I think that if one needs to shout, or dance around the kitchen, or scream, or beat hell out of a set of drums, cry, laugh or whatever the feeling inside you dictates, then it is appropriate to do it at that time, in keeping with what your holistic self needs to stay emotionally healthy.
this is so true, i have a 5 yr old son, who i bring up to allow him to experience what he feels in emotions, I as a dad, would never interfer with his learning experiences in life, and I would never correct him into thinking, what he is feeling, is wrong... only time, i get involved with his feeling, is when he has a bad dream, explaining it is only a dream in the mind, thats its alright...free thinking for a child is pureness, its inoncent, we can learn so much from it, and this way of thinking helps him in later life, as he knows how to be independant...
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Big_John: Hell if I was emotionally stable I wouldn't be on this web site.
My friends and family thinks I nuts!!!
My friends and family thinks I nuts!!!
Yeah, sometimes i wonder if you guys really exist
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Sommerauer71: Hi Kitten..
As a matter of interest, what is drama?
As a matter of interest, what is drama?
Kitten got scared!
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I always thought of being emotionally stable as not being angered easily, being able to deal with worries and anxieties.
No one can avoid unwanted emotions in emotionally unstable world, but being able to deal with it and being able to have control over it would mean emotional stability to me.
Exactly.