Why do you need someone to touch you to feel again.
Surely that is not a requirement to feel alive.
I don't need anyone to be able to function, I never have, because everyone will always leave.
So why now?

Yes I know the psychology behind it, I am a nurse, so I get it.

So after losing a child, a father, a sister, and getting divorced twice...it makes no sense now..this numb feeling is so strange.

In order to give to others you need to have something to give, there's always been a lot to give, but today if you cut me open I wouldn't even bleed.

Love yourself first I am told, but where did I go.
I am a house full of Xmas lights and if you switch on the lights inside the Xmas lights will go off, so you leave the inside in darkness.