is true love hard to find??? (127)

No, I like the light relief of one discussion which stops the other getting too much like hard work. Its one of the things that I like about these forums - off topic discussions are recognised as being functional, whether they're off-shoots of the original discussion that then feed back into the original OP, chatting, or simply flirting.

May I ask Sassy, when did you know it was true love for you and your husband?

Well Jac, Most will call this crazy but here it is anyway. When he walked in the small cafe where I was working my heart started beating fast and I felt such a warmth come over me. He ordered a glass of iced tea (come to find out later he did not even like iced tea). He took me home that night, went in to meet my parents. I was in the kitchen with Momma chatting about him when we heard him tell my Dad, sir, I love your daughter and I would like to marry her. I just grabbed my Momma, hugged her and started crying. It was just there Miss Jac, just there.

I think /\/\/\/\/\ that's the poetic version of my rather academic approach.

Also nice. ::handshake:

No, I don't think its crazy because it obviously worked out for you both. My own parents didn't speak the same language when they got married and that started with my dad buying an extraordinary number of birthday cards for his sisters (he had three sisters, not an extraordinary number ) from the shop where my mother worked. Fifty-five years on, they're still together, but I don't know that they've always been in love all the time.

Okay, next question if you don't mind: Stories like yours and my parents' appear to me to be more common in your generation and before, than since. What do you think the difference is?

Also, had you experienced anything like that before and it didn't work out and become true love? The description that wash2u and Dee gave of instant chemistry and 'sparks' to my mind is infatuation, which may, or may not grow to become a life-long loving relationship. Most of us have experienced some kind of zippidy-doo-dah feelings when meeting someone, but as most of us on here aren't widowed, it didn't develop into a life-long loving relationship.

Was it really true love at first sight with you and your husband? Or was it an instant chemistry that lead to true love? What do you think was key in that development, if so?

A* grade as ever, Soph.

Its good to see you, my friend.

Oh no, I did have true love Jac, and its never left me. The feeling is still there and always will be. But circumstances got in the way. Not willing to go into detail here for all and sundry to read. But I think i can honestly say that I wouldnt find it here. But Im on a dating site purely to meet people for dating and for friendship....but def not looking to find true love on here.

Does anyone on here know exactly what they are looking for in all honesty. ????

Tell me, whats your definition of true love / love. Did you experience true love?

What are you expecting to find it on a free chat site? I would say people who are seriously trying to find someone would in fact go onto a paying site where they are all genuine people looking for lurv....well, of course, apart from the odd scammer on them lol sure they get everywhere... lol

Yes Wash, 1000kms is miles apart and I know that long distance is hard to keep up with (unless one is willing to move). But as I said in my reply to Jac, sometimes circumstances dont allow this which is unfortunate. But nevertheless, doesnt make the heart forget that person and what could of been. And why not stay the best of friends?? there is such things also as true friends :-)

So finding true love doesn't necessarily involve reciprocation, either, but it does involve an exchange of money? Uh huh.

I don't have a definition of love, ergo I can't have a definition of true love, or genuine true love, or untrue love, or really, really, awfully, terribly anything else love.

There are so many forms of love - I love my dog, I love my daughter and granddaughter, I love tomatoes. Which one is untrue love?

How can I anticipate how I might feel about someone in the future given it will be unique to that person and in that time? A first flush of attraction is not the same as how you might feel towards someone if they die in your arms after a long illness. To me, its not only a logical fallacy to try and impose some kind of vague rule about whether a feeling of love is true, or not, is an injustice to the person that you are relating to. Its predetermining how they should be, that they should induce a certain feeling, or thoughts in me, to be worthy of trueness.

In answer to your question, "What am I expecting to find on a free chat site?", I'm expecting to find the working means to chat without paying. Call me old fashioned.

True love.....or ......love.....it's all the same.

What's not the same is "being in love" and "loving someone".

I love by daughter and her dogs.

I love chocolate cake and fried chicken.

There are many things and many people you can "love" but when you are talking about romance, the idea is to be "in love" with one person.

Very big difference.

You either love the person or you don't love them. The word "true" comes in when the couple has been together for 50 years. "True" is to imply that even though the couple went through hard times, they stayed together all those years. They were "true" to each other.

Much like saying the color of her shirt is a true blue....it's real.

You don't find ..."true love".

You find love and after years of devotion it becomes "true love", meaning they stayed together; they didn't give up; they lived for each other.

So hang on, if you dont know what the meaning of true love is, what are you banging on and on about lol. The question to this thread was "is it hard to find true love"?...Simple question and should be simple answers lol. You seem to condemn anything that anyone is saying on here, yet you cant answer the question :-)

Are you a politician by any chance

Yes, I think true love is hard to find.

For me it is sharing a life with someone and being happy with him.

I think love just is - you meet someone and you get on, you are on the same wavelenght in what is important for you and things just fall in place. It's not complicated to be with that person. I think if things are complicated right from the start, forget about it.

Obviously it's not a guarantee for forever.

Hi girlie...another woman who knows what she's talking about

If you don't know what something is, how can you find it?

Noone has defined 'true love' with any level of logic, ergo its not logical to think you can find it, or put a measure upon finding it.

Looking for something indefinable and somehow ultimate, will lead to disappointment because you will always be wondering whether its true, or genuinely true, of really, really true, or quite true enough.

Surely that's exactly the mindset which leads to the constant looking which you complain about and believe people to be incapable of 'true love' for? That seems a little ironic, to me.

I tried to keep it simple - it's getting fairly complicated from what I can see!

I almost missed you post Dee. Somehow it got caught in the middle of my post and I saw it by accident. Thanks anyway.