anxiety attack! (89)
Elegsabiff: now you made me cry.
Proving I'm a gold-plated loon, and not your national bird, either. The human type. Bloody hell, what's WRONG with me?
Proving I'm a gold-plated loon, and not your national bird, either. The human type. Bloody hell, what's WRONG with me?
Hey you, no tears.
Try not to get yourself too wound up about it...I know, easier said than done but I think you need this challenge and to overcome it. Go on the trip and once you get there, you'll be wondering what all the fuss was about. 
pedalguy59: The irony is, you went and bought a new Bathing suit because you did not want to go.
Yup. Trying to get in the mood!
Guess what, it didn't work ..
Elegsabiff: now you made me cry.
Proving I'm a gold-plated loon, and not your national bird, either. The human type. Bloody hell, what's WRONG with me?
Proving I'm a gold-plated loon, and not your national bird, either. The human type. Bloody hell, what's WRONG with me?
Nothing is 'wrong' with you.
Perhaps this scenario is just tapping into something important to you.
2intrigued: Hey you, no tears. Try not to get yourself too wound up about it...I know, easier said than done but I think you need this challenge and to overcome it. Go on the trip and once you get there, you'll be wondering what all the fuss was about.
Tripping over my lip, but I KNOW you're right. Or I will have the gloomy satisfaction of coming back and telling you that you were wrong.
Elegsabiff: Thinking ....
Previous holidays I have been staying with someone and had little or no control. But I didn't want to go from the beginning, let myself get talked into this. Maybe it IS latent resentment flaring big-time. Second childhood time and I'm throwing a toddler tantrum? against myself?
Previous holidays I have been staying with someone and had little or no control. But I didn't want to go from the beginning, let myself get talked into this. Maybe it IS latent resentment flaring big-time. Second childhood time and I'm throwing a toddler tantrum? against myself?
Now I'm hearing you turning this on yourself in a self-blame sort of a way.
jac_the_gripper: Nothing is 'wrong' with you. Perhaps this scenario is just tapping into something important to you.
I'm sure as hell not being rational here. At least I've realized it's not the flying, it's the holiday itself which is bumming me out. Boohoo poor me having to go stay in a villa in Spain with a relative I like.
There's no REASON to feel so frightened, and that's what's so frightening. Idiot, idiot, idiot Elegsabiff.
Elegsabiff: Tripping over my lip, but I KNOW you're right. Or I will have the gloomy satisfaction of coming back and telling you that you were wrong.
That's alright but I have a feeling once you get past the hurdle, you're gonna enjoy yourself. I look forward to your gloomy dissatisfaction of having to admit you were anxious for nothing. 
jac_the_gripper: Now I'm hearing you turning this on yourself in a self-blame sort of a way.
Hard to blame anyone else ...
2intrigued: That's alright but I have a feeling once you get past the hurdle, you're gonna enjoy yourself. I look forward to your gloomy dissatisfaction of having to admit you were anxious for nothing.
I'll drink to that.
Elegsabiff: I'm sure as hell not being rational here. At least I've realized it's not the flying, it's the holiday itself which is bumming me out. Boohoo poor me having to go stay in a villa in Spain with a relative I like.
There's no REASON to feel so frightened, and that's what's so frightening. Idiot, idiot, idiot Elegsabiff.
There's no REASON to feel so frightened, and that's what's so frightening. Idiot, idiot, idiot Elegsabiff.
So, on top of self-blame, I'm hearing self-admonishment.
Is Biffy being an ungrateful little tyke and it's all her fault...?
Is this what you're repeating to yourself?
jac_the_gripper: What does the fear remind you of?
You know what? Just realized I felt it - not as badly, but the same anxiety bubbles, which I pushed away - when my LDR guy was coming here for a month, the previous longest we'd spent together was a fortnight. I knew it would be a disaster, and it was. BUT that was partly a self-fulfilling prophecy. I was so convinced it would be disastrous that I pushed the situation into touch just to get it over and done with. So what do I learn from this?
Um. I must have learned something from this!
jac_the_gripper: So, on top of self-blame, I'm hearing self-admonishment. Is Biffy being an ungrateful little tyke and it's all her fault...? Is this what you're repeating to yourself?
No. That's not it. No flash of recognition.
Elegsabiff: Hard to blame anyone else ...
Is it necessary to blame anyone?
Y'know, my mum had some very odd behaviours resulting from experiencing war time Germany in her formative years. Survival was a day to day touch and go thing. That's not her fault, I don't blame her for her behaviours, but it certainly had an impact upon me.
As children we tend to internalise things and think it's all to do with us. Tracing back helps us understand, shake off self-blame and find new coping strategies when our childhood ones no longer work.
You have made the decision to go and that in itself could not have been easy.
Now that you have, try focusing on the positive, because the negative will not change anything, only cause more anxiety.
I have lived near Alicante for 14 years, and I can assure you once you feel the warmth, see the lovely blue sea, sit eating whilst watching the world go by, visit the lovely shops, explore different places, your anxiety will fade away.
Now that you have, try focusing on the positive, because the negative will not change anything, only cause more anxiety.
I have lived near Alicante for 14 years, and I can assure you once you feel the warmth, see the lovely blue sea, sit eating whilst watching the world go by, visit the lovely shops, explore different places, your anxiety will fade away.
Elegsabiff: You know what? Just realized I felt it - not as badly, but the same anxiety bubbles, which I pushed away - when my LDR guy was coming here for a month, the previous longest we'd spent together was a fortnight. I knew it would be a disaster, and it was. BUT that was partly a self-fulfilling prophecy. I was so convinced it would be disastrous that I pushed the situation into touch just to get it over and done with. So what do I learn from this?
Um. I must have learned something from this!
Um. I must have learned something from this!
Entrapment again?
Do you need to know there's an escape route to feel comfortable with a situation?
jac_the_gripper: Is it necessary to blame anyone?
Y'know, my mum had some very odd behaviours resulting from experiencing war time Germany in her formative years. Survival was a day to day touch and go thing. That's not her fault, I don't blame her for her behaviours, but it certainly had an impact upon me.
As children we tend to internalise things and think it's all to do with us. Tracing back helps us understand, shake off self-blame and find new coping strategies when our childhood ones no longer work.
Y'know, my mum had some very odd behaviours resulting from experiencing war time Germany in her formative years. Survival was a day to day touch and go thing. That's not her fault, I don't blame her for her behaviours, but it certainly had an impact upon me.
As children we tend to internalise things and think it's all to do with us. Tracing back helps us understand, shake off self-blame and find new coping strategies when our childhood ones no longer work.
Tracing back is where a poll is so good, because people like you make suggestions that would never occur to me normally, and make me think.
I know I am being irrational about this holiday, if I could find something to 'blame' I could rationalise it and stop overreacting. As it is, I'd better go do some sorting, as the clothes are currently spread all over my bed. Get that over now rather than at bedtime. Back in 20, and hopefully not a gibbering wreck
jac_the_gripper: Entrapment again? Do you need to know there's an escape route to feel comfortable with a situation?
Now THAT rang a bell. Yes I do!
rebel2: You have made the decision to go and that in itself could not have been easy. Now that you have, try focusing on the positive, because the negative will not change anything, only cause more anxiety.
I have lived near Alicante for 14 years, and I can assure you once you feel the warmth, see the lovely blue sea, sit eating whilst watching the world go by, visit the lovely shops, explore different places, your anxiety will fade away.
I have lived near Alicante for 14 years, and I can assure you once you feel the warmth, see the lovely blue sea, sit eating whilst watching the world go by, visit the lovely shops, explore different places, your anxiety will fade away.
Aha, the gent in the kilt. Want me to bring you a haggis? Off to sort clothes. Tell me more ...
Elegsabiff: Aha, the gent in the kilt. Want me to bring you a haggis? Off to sort clothes. Tell me more ...
Now you cannot fool me, I know they are not in season! 
It is a beautiful time of year out here. The weather is just right and it is so tranquil.
Long lazy days, followed by long lazy evenings.
Elegsabiff: Now THAT rang a bell. Yes I do!
Okay, maybe two options then:
1. Create an escape route so you can go and enjoy your holiday;
2. Work out what's behind you needing an escape route and an alternative coping strategy from that.
...or just go on a Holiday, and no psycho analysis is needed.
Elegsabiff: Tracing back is where a poll is so good, because people like you make suggestions that would never occur to me normally, and make me think.
I know I am being irrational about this holiday, if I could find something to 'blame' I could rationalise it and stop overreacting. As it is, I'd better go do some sorting, as the clothes are currently spread all over my bed. Get that over now rather than at bedtime. Back in 20, and hopefully not a gibbering wreck
I know I am being irrational about this holiday, if I could find something to 'blame' I could rationalise it and stop overreacting. As it is, I'd better go do some sorting, as the clothes are currently spread all over my bed. Get that over now rather than at bedtime. Back in 20, and hopefully not a gibbering wreck
I don't think there's any such thing as 'overreacting'. I think it's just a glib expression designed to get people (or ourselves) to suppress our feelings.
I reckon it's more productive to listen to our feelings and seek resolution.
Likewise, blame may perpetuate, or even exacerbate those feelings, whereas understanding may dissipate them.
I'm a great believer in laying your cards on the table and having a bloody good look at them (and shuffling them into a more pleasing order if necessary), rather than sticking them back on the shelf to fester and haunt.
rebel2: Now you cannot fool me, I know they are not in season!
It is a beautiful time of year out here. The weather is just right and it is so tranquil.
Long lazy days, followed by long lazy evenings.
It is a beautiful time of year out here. The weather is just right and it is so tranquil.
Long lazy days, followed by long lazy evenings.
I've got a youngster, coming along very nicely.
You're helping, Rebel. You're really helping!
jac_the_gripper: Okay, maybe two options then:
1. Create an escape route so you can go and enjoy your holiday;
2. Work out what's behind you needing an escape route and an alternative coping strategy from that.
1. Create an escape route so you can go and enjoy your holiday;
2. Work out what's behind you needing an escape route and an alternative coping strategy from that.
okay - that's making sense -
pedalguy59: ...or just go on a Holiday, and no psycho analysis is needed.
You want another skelp? Why?
Elegsabiff: I've got a youngster, coming along very nicely.
You're helping, Rebel. You're really helping!
Always pleased to help You're helping, Rebel. You're really helping!
I have just finished my coffee on the terrace and it is 20 degrees, still and calm. I can see the moon reflecting on the calm sea.
Tomorrow I will stroll across to the café and have a coffee or two with a tostadas. Then a stroll down to the beach, a swim in the sea, followed by a tapas, just watching the local wildlife
What will I do in the afternoon? I do not know and it doesn't matter.
You will enjoy it, I know you will
Elegsabiff: okay - that's making sense -
tell you what..i.ll meet you, getting on the plane....then whack you on the head with a bit of 2x2 wood...you wont remember a thing...promice yer.... 
jac_the_gripper: I don't think there's any such thing as 'overreacting'. I think it's just a glib expression designed to get people (or ourselves) to suppress our feelings.
I reckon it's more productive to listen to our feelings and seek resolution.
Likewise, blame may perpetuate, or even exacerbate those feelings, whereas understanding may dissipate them.
I'm a great believer in laying your cards on the table and having a bloody good look at them (and shuffling them into a more pleasing order if necessary), rather than sticking them back on the shelf to fester and haunt.
I reckon it's more productive to listen to our feelings and seek resolution.
Likewise, blame may perpetuate, or even exacerbate those feelings, whereas understanding may dissipate them.
I'm a great believer in laying your cards on the table and having a bloody good look at them (and shuffling them into a more pleasing order if necessary), rather than sticking them back on the shelf to fester and haunt.
Understanding is ALWAYS the key, for me anyway. That's why I'm digging, and I think I'm getting there. I thought of something while I was sorting clothes that was so childish and obvious I'm too shy to say it here after all this angst. That - and Rebel making Spain sound pretty cool - is getting me over the hump. The cards are shuffling ...
Elegsabiff: You want another skelp? Why?
Remmber Karma my darling be careful'
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I'm not Scottish by birth, I'm originally from South Africa, so sun isn't quite the siren call it should be. Been there, done that, even had the skin cancer ... man, I am just one bundle of fun tonight. And should be sorting out what clothes I'm going to take. THAT's what triggered the current panic attack ...