CAN LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK? ( Archived) (41)

Nice to hear people have tried, or are trying!

Lusciousmile, what happened? Did he/or you didn't want to move together?

mbcasey: can I ask if you see each other often? Will you live together at some point?

I met a fantastic girl recently (not here though), she's from the UK, but she is really scared that we get involved because of the heart ache she had with her previous boyfriend.

I am going to travel as much as possible to see her, and ultimately, she will be coming back in Malta -it's just she is unsure when yet.

I am going to try my best, date first, see how it's like. After all, a trip to the UK is very cheap from here.

True!

From what i've read here, most people seem ready to move, for love. The problem is, waiting to make this move, because most smart people won't pack up and jump on a plane, after only a few months of 'dating'.

I am single, but thanks for asking...

Try 6 weeks

Of course it can work....for some. In my experience, men seem to have issues with it and it doesn't last so it's not for everyone. I look at it like this, though: my mom basically raised me by herself because my dad was infantry. He was gone so much that for the first 8 years of my life, I didn't call him dad. (he remustered to the Air Force to change that and promptly ended up assigned to a ship) Last November they celebrated their 38th anniversary and they're both just as giggly over each other as they were then. So it's all about perspective and how much effort both partners are willing to put into the relationship.

Too many people DO pack up and move in together, with too short a relationship!! Only to read the heartbreak story on CS in a few months

The best to you, if you can make it work...It is hard enough to make things work locally.....

It's like trying to snog a shark.

I personally think it's an even better test than a 'local' relationship. In the sense that you can really sense if the bond is solid or not, sense the dedication of your partner. After all, sometimes we move in with someone with hardly have seen having endured tough moments with us.

We 'dated' for around 5 months, and no, it had not gotten to the point of 'moving'. I'm however, not quitting school for love, or money. He was everything i felt i wanted, but i felt the communication we had wasn't enough. Perhaps i just felt i missed him so much, i couldn't handle just chatting. LDR are easier for people already working, and ready to make crazy leaps.

Good luck.

Sorry to hear that. :(
Yes, it's true once you are working you do have more freedom (financially also). She is dead bored of London, I have to keep pushing her, no problem.

Very true. A lot of planning sounds like the major part of it, this, and i would say constant (but not suffocating) interaction. Won't be too hard afterwards in terms of decision making. Her whole family seem to want her back here, and the same goes for her.

OOps. Crossed my wires. Was responding to sassy49senior.

I have heard of some that have worked out just fine. But I know of quit a few that didn't work out so well. I know that I would need someone near by, because I am not big about talking on the phone and I some times refuse to go onto the internet. Only because I need to go into town to get on the computer.

Yes, and i can't wait to be done with school!

Make sure you propose to her, on your first week of dating. That should secure things for you.

some years ago i met this young man from shelby nc on the internet. we talked and talked and eventually i ended up traveling back and forth to see him. initially when i saw him i wasn't impressed but he broke the ice with his warm smile and friendly embrace. i was head over heels from that moment on. but most of the effort was on my part. we were both in love, but what turned me off was that he claimed he was afraid of airplanes so he never came to the bahamas. i flew there over and over and the minute i asked him to come over was the last time i saw him. i refused to go back there unless he made an effort to fly over here. i even offered to fly with him. he claimed he was afraid but i think it was the fear of sacrifice more than the fear of flying. it can work if both parties put their 100% into it. the relationship ended abruptly but it was sweet and beautiful nonetheless and i have no regrets other than not moving over there when he asked me to.

you can say that again!!