If you left your partner, then realised you made a big mistake.Would you fight to get him/her back? (55)
dnlrffrosedale, Victoria Australia4 Threads 1 Polls 25 PostsLol kiss....never heard that one before.
dnlrff: Lol kiss....never heard that one before.
hhah yes i have
dnlrff: Lol kiss....never heard that one before.
All seriousness think of kids/you first..
if its only quilt ur feeling why you might want to give her a second chance..think more..
but its ur decision and urs alone..
Best of luck
dnlrff: I left my girlfriend of 5 years, every day i think of her and I feel like Ive made a big mistake. she loved me so much and i realise I have let go of what im looking for now....
i have just gone over this thread to see what the other members have said to you so i am not repeating what has already been said to you
if you feel you both can patch things up go for it i read that you said your x is in recovery and broke down when you broke up
being in recovery she wil be dealing with issues threw the group sessions and listening to other recovering addicts alcahol does that with couples i am also talking from experiance i put my self threw william booth in surry hills i did the hard yards and put my self threw the 12 month program we had women also staying at william booth and the rules were thrown at us
she will have her own counlser and she would have done step four
i say go for it but be open and let her talk and then you say what you need to say forgive her it seems she wil be also missing the kids and i know the kids wil be missing her
i put my first wife threw hell we are know good friends she has forgiven me my son has come around and forgiven me also he is 12yrs old he was taken out of my life at the age of three it was the pot and alcahol that destroyed my relationship with my x wife when she left me in 2000 we had no contac i did not know were she was she kept in touch with my close friends but they did not tell me were she was living in 2003 i hired a solicitor and he tracked her down all i wanted to say was sorry and i missed my son and wanted to say sorry to him
it played on me when i was in william booth listening to the other fathers and mothers who wanted to kick the habit
we tried to patch things up in 2005 it did not work out she could not see her self being with me and i some how felt the same the we lived together for two months we parted but we are very close friends
she is married and has a good guy we talk a lot on the phone i had a real good solicitor i thanked him it oost me but it was worth it
send her letters and phone her and let her know you want her back
sorry for any spelling mistakes my spelling is not that good
good luck you are both adults if you feel you want her back do what you can to win her over but you have been told it wil not be the same it wil be diffrent and you need to listen to her and make sure she goes to the meetings and is around the right people dont judge her or throw what hapend in the past in her face
good luck
damo9
Your right somechick. there are two sides to every story. Its hard to hold an advice poll with both parties on a matter like this though.
somechick: Pat we've only heard one side of this story and I'm not passing any judgement on the mother. I think sometimes we're way too quick to pass judgement on the other person.
dnlrff: Your right somechick. there are two sides to every story. Its hard to hold an advice poll with both parties on a matter like this though.
I know it is very hard as far as trying to hold a advice poll with both parties.
I fully understand your situation.I had a step-father who was a recovering alcoholic and it was a miserable time for both me and my mother.
All I'm going to really say is that you have to do what's best for All of you.
Thanks for your input. seems that you too have been through it and your a survivor. Glad to hear your son is seeing you again he needs it...your a wise man thank you
damo9: i have just gone over this thread to see what the other members have said to you so i am not repeating what has already been said to you if you feel you both can patch things up go for it i read that you said your x is in recovery and broke down when you broke up being in recovery she wil be dealing with issues threw the group sessions and listening to other recovering addicts alcahol does that with couples i am also talking from experiance i put my self threw william booth in surry hills i did the hard yards and put my self threw the 12 month program we had women also staying at william booth and the rules were thrown at us
she will have her own counlser and she would have done step four i say go for it but be open and let her talk and then you say what you need to say forgive her it seems she wil be also missing the kids and i know the kids wil be missing her i put my first wife threw hell we are know good friends she has forgiven me my son has come around and forgiven me also he is 12yrs old he was taken out of my life at the age of three it was the pot and alcahol that destroyed my relationship with my x wife when she left me in 2000 we had no contac i did not know were she was she kept in touch with my close friends but they did not tell me were she was living in 2003 i hired a solicitor and he tracked her down all i wanted to say was sorry and i missed my son and wanted to say sorry to him it played on me when i was in william booth listening to the other fathers and mothers who wanted to kick the habit
we tried to patch things up in 2005 it did not work out she could not see her self being with me and i some how felt the same the we lived together for two months we parted but we are very close friends
she is married and has a good guy we talk a lot on the phone i had a real good solicitor i thanked him it oost me but it was worth it send her letters and phone her and let her know you want her back
sorry for any spelling mistakes my spelling is not that good good luck you are both adults if you feel you want her back do what you can to win her over but you have been told it wil not be the same it wil be diffrent and you need to listen to her and make sure she goes to the meetings and is around the right people dont judge her or throw what hapend in the past in her face good luck
damo9
she will have her own counlser and she would have done step four i say go for it but be open and let her talk and then you say what you need to say forgive her it seems she wil be also missing the kids and i know the kids wil be missing her i put my first wife threw hell we are know good friends she has forgiven me my son has come around and forgiven me also he is 12yrs old he was taken out of my life at the age of three it was the pot and alcahol that destroyed my relationship with my x wife when she left me in 2000 we had no contac i did not know were she was she kept in touch with my close friends but they did not tell me were she was living in 2003 i hired a solicitor and he tracked her down all i wanted to say was sorry and i missed my son and wanted to say sorry to him it played on me when i was in william booth listening to the other fathers and mothers who wanted to kick the habit
we tried to patch things up in 2005 it did not work out she could not see her self being with me and i some how felt the same the we lived together for two months we parted but we are very close friends
she is married and has a good guy we talk a lot on the phone i had a real good solicitor i thanked him it oost me but it was worth it send her letters and phone her and let her know you want her back
sorry for any spelling mistakes my spelling is not that good good luck you are both adults if you feel you want her back do what you can to win her over but you have been told it wil not be the same it wil be diffrent and you need to listen to her and make sure she goes to the meetings and is around the right people dont judge her or throw what hapend in the past in her face good luck
damo9
kissmedeeply: All seriousness think of kids/you first..
if its only quilt ur feeling why you might want to give her a second chance..think more..
but its ur decision and urs alone..
Best of luck
if its only quilt ur feeling why you might want to give her a second chance..think more..
but its ur decision and urs alone..
Best of luck
dnlrff: When i met her she was a surgical nurse at a good hospital. In that 5 years shes gone to drinking and unemployed...Watching it was so sad hopefully after the 6 month detox will sort her and she can work again and enjoy life.
Maybe she needs to change and do a totally different job.
she said that...im not a pushy person and i told her that she should do what she wants to do with work...maybe she should get her own place and job when she comes out build her life back up..then maybe try again
somechick: Maybe she needs to change and do a totally different job.
dnlrff: I left my girlfriend of 5 years, every day i think of her and I feel like Ive made a big mistake. she loved me so much and i realise I have let go of what im looking for now....
She could only get a do over if she did a complete overhaul. I have taken care of hundreds of kids in my life time, and I have seen what happens whe one parent is addicted. It may be hard for you... But you both may have to be seperate but together.Please remember too. Kids remember stuff we do not think they remember, and We usually find out too late that thinds have caused them emotional damage. Sometimes they grow up with serious trust issues.
dnlrff: she said that...im not a pushy person and i told her that she should do what she wants to do with work...maybe she should get her own place and job when she comes out build her life back up..then maybe try again
That may be a better idea and give her some space to think things out and hopefully get her life back on track again.That way you two could take baby steps at getting your lives together.
I wish you well in all you do.
has she told you why she drinks, job pressure,childhood issues,health issues or she just lost all control. possible she was having hard time dealing with working and not being at home with you and the children like she wanted? when she faces what caused her to start drinking in the 1st place she is already healing and wanting to change but her will power isn't strong enough? maybe she was just overwhelmed with everyday life. 
Alcohol effects not only the person, but the people around them. In spite of how she may have behaved while under the influence she apparently felt that you were her support system. When you left her she had no one to be there as you had been. If she is detox now at the end of the day, figurtively speaking she should be on her way to recovery. It would beneficial in her recovery while in detox to know that you love her and will be there when she returns home. People can see the light at the end of the tunnel if the love is there and is strong. My best to you and her. 
In my opinion.. If you don't try and find her, and see if anything can be salvaged.. She will always live on in your mind, as the one that got away... A tough act for any future lady to have to follow ...Try and resolve this with your old g/f first.. and good luck to you......!
If I 've been with a woman for a few years there would have to be a real good reason for me leaving her. If I want to get back with her I would have to concider if it is worth the effort.
If I want to get back with her I would have to concider if it is worth the effort.dnlrff: Your right somechick. there are two sides to every story. Its hard to hold an advice poll with both parties on a matter like this though.
It's a tough position to be in. And cannot be an easy decision for you. Guilt is a harmful emotion. You did what you needed to do, and I believe it was the right decision given the circumstances. Six months is not a very long time to try and conquer an alcohol problem. She's in a controlled environment. The pressure of "real life" can become too much.
I hope whatever you decide there will be a happy ending for everyone. In the long run, we are all obligated to do what is best for us, and children if they are involved.
We only get one chance at this thing called life. Make it count.
Good luck my friend.
I think u should give her another chance but if u do, because she went thru so much to quit drinking you should sacrifice ur drinking as well. If she's trying not to drink you should help her and be supportive and if having the odd beer is more important then being with her then its not worth the effort right.. maybe she will be able to be around u drinking after she is strong enough but some people are always tempted.
I'm never gonna dance again
Gifted feet have got no rhythm
Well it's easy to pretend
I know I'm not a fool
Should've known better than to cheat a friend
Wasted chance that I've been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you
---------------------------
-----------------------
Gifted feet have got no rhythm
Well it's easy to pretend
I know I'm not a fool
Should've known better than to cheat a friend
Wasted chance that I've been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you
---------------------------
-----------------------Nope!!! There must have been a reason for me to give them up
Definately not
Definately not
dnlrff: I left my girlfriend of 5 years, every day i think of her and I feel like Ive made a big mistake. she loved me so much and i realise I have let go of what im looking for now....
not my business,just an opinion
everybody deserves a 2nd chance,but not a third...
patch up the relationship first
speak about it with your children, as they were adults
they have to deal with an adult problem.
Nowbody gets born with alcolism,but once those neurotransmitters are tuned in?
The fight is not to get the girl back but to make that family of you work
You can hold your beer, but can you hold without the beer?
fool those neurotransmitters,don't tease them!
the best!
Without a doubt .Have no problem with being wrong and admitting it 
i wouldn't leave my mate. i would be so devoted to her
dnlrff: I left my girlfriend of 5 years, every day i think of her and I feel like Ive made a big mistake. she loved me so much and i realise I have let go of what im looking for now....
I think her going into rehab (and staying 6 months) is a sign that she wants help. I had a brother who died of alcohol addiction and nothing made him take action! Hopefully the councelling will help her with whatever drove her to drink. You will have to realise that you will have to give up your beer andf perhaps any social gatherings where alcohol is drunk. If you love her that should be easy!
You and your kids should probably get some councelling too, to see if the kids can cope with her coming back, memories etc have to be worked out. There are support groups for relatives of alcoholics. These groups will probably make you more aware about the pitfalls that await recovering alcoholics and be aware, once addicted to drink always addicted to drink, there is no *just one glass of beer* for her!
I hope everything will work out for you, whatever you decide
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