Richard_D Blog Comments (476)

My Wikipedia Donation

Hi spd -

I agree ... not always correct but overall a good resource.

I use the site often myself and have noticed that their quality continues to improve.

Thank you for adding your thoughts.

My Wikipedia Donation

Hi Boban!

Thanks for sharing your experience. I like the way they are working to get cultural topics right. It has to be difficult to keep facts separate from opinion and legend. It's good that they open it up and try to get it right.

My Wikipedia Donation

Hi nonsmoker -

The video reminds me of the early days at Wikipedia. People would sign up to assist and would end up posting bad information ... no references ... something off-topic or simply wrong.

As it has evolved, I've become impressed with how complete entries seem to be. References and footnotes are common now. I don't know how it all happens but it is cool.

My Wikipedia Donation

Hi Chatonly! -

There are different kinds of charities. Technically (the way they are set up in the US) this is a charity. Beyond this, however, it's one of the grand projects that the internet makes possible.

I'm continuously curious ... the wealth of information available continues to amaze me.

RE: Spirituality the art of living

Thank you for your thoughts, Shamaila.

Hypnosis was one idea I had along the way. My sister (who has dealt with anxiety issues far longer than I have) suggested that it's a good idea to collect several tools you can use when you need them. One is therapy -- seeing someone who can suggest additional tools. For me, this provided my turning point and enough tools to bring me back closer to normal. I'm still learning the tools but am certainly more receptive to these topics than I would have been a year ago.

RE: Spirituality the art of living

Hello Shamaila -

I enjoyed reading your blog... all of it.

I've been learning about causes of stress and ways to reduce anxiety. You mention several topics that are related to this topic.

Acceptance reduces stress. There is a natural order to things (and people). To accept what is, just as it is (without judgement) keeps anxiety low.

Living each moment, focusing only on that moment ... thinking only of what is in front of you and what your senses tell you ... this is a manner of meditation ... when the past, the future, all thoughts outside the present time and place ... when these 'extra' thoughts are quiet, we feel peaceful.

This concept cannot be described in a sentence. Those who are not interested or are impatient aren't likely to be receptive.

Thank you for writing this blog.

RE: Scenes from my 8 Km walks (+Hols)

Hi Elmo!

8 km ... that's quite a long walk! The pictures are wonderful. You have some nice neighbors so greet you along your route.

Thanks for sharing part of your world with us.

RE: You know you're from the 70's IF..................

1st car was a Pinto ... 2nd was a Mustang (I paid too much but I really liked that car! )

Hi lgs -

I hope your holiday is off to a good start. I'm always curious to see what Santa might bring ...

I never really thought that leg warmers were cool ... but they did look good on "What a Feeling" ... what was her name? ... what was that movie? ...

I like you. Come closer.

Chica! -

Another wonderful comment from you.

I agree with you. When we've lived through a problem we are definitely watching out for it the next time.

It's also important to look at this realistically. Our partners are going to have their bad days. There will be days when we try to show "come closer" and they aren't receptive. There will also be days when we don't get the "come closer" signal from our partners.

Overall... I think the ability to communicate that we want our partner with us (physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc) is an important relationship skill.

Your boyfriend is a lucky man... I'm sure he knows it.

I like you. Come closer.

mtncabingirl - Hello!

Good signals! ... closer ... just a little bit at a time ... and we might bump noses along the way to a kiss.

Getting physically close can be funny at times ... hugging ... when both tilt their bodies in the same direction ... which arm goes over which shoulder? (is there a rule for this? ) ... and even closer ... kissing ... when heads tilt in the same direction ... can be awkward ... certainly funny!

I like you. Come closer.

Welela -

To "give" is to say "I like you, come closer."? It seems like this is your point. I think it adds to the way we think of giving ... to understand the signal we're sending ... come closer ... I want to be close to you.

I like you. Come closer.

Hi Sara -

Time alone is important ... but how do we make sure our partner doesn't feel we are pushing them away?

Each couple needs to figure out their own communication. It would seem that there would be a way to let the other person know that your 'alone time' is for you and isn't a reaction to them or a message to them to stay away.

A few people I know mentioned that they like to read and need to be allowed time alone (undisturbed) for their reading. It would seem that this would be one of the simpler ways to reach understanding as it would be easy to communicate that reading time is "I just want to be alone" time.

I like you. Come closer.

Chame1eon - Thank you for your encouragement!

---

lgs - The 2-headed lama of myth and legend! (well, at least it was in the Doctor Dolittle story )

I understand the push/pull metaphor ... To feel drawn to your partner but also fearing being drawn to your partner.

How about this? ... Acknowledge your instincts... pause and consider... if the only objections you come up with are "myth and legend", then follow your instincts!

I like you. Come closer.

Sara -

We need to do a blog about 'creating our own moods'. You recently mentioned learning to create your mood in order to do your writing. I'm intrigued by this idea.

---

There's a time in the relationship when we can be caught in the middle... between being single and committing ourselves to the relationship. Some jump through this stage quick and other stop for too long... unsure of themselves... not trusting that new relationship is going to work ... I know this is a challenge for me and it seems it might be a challenge for you as well.

Can we say to them "I want you close to me." or do we just hint about it and keep ourselves comfortably distant?

RE: Feeling a bit romantic today..........

Hey lgs - << hugs are nice, aren't they?

You make a very interesting point. There are many feelings behind love... the pain of feeling vulnerable... that someone close to you is capable of hurting you. Can this ever be resolved?

Tough questions...

One article I read recently was about the need for friendships and social interaction in order to feel happy and content. The author noted that those with 10 or more close friends (people you meet with at least monthly and have meaningful conversations with) were shown to do the best. Perhaps if someone has happiness and contentment that is not dependent on their partner, they won't feel as vulnerable.

RE: Feeling a bit romantic today..........

Hi Lgs -

I enjoyed reading the 3 different descriptions. Each author having there own way to describe love.

My own outlook is most similar to the first author. I've had challenges with women whose outlook is most like the second author.

How about you? Do any of these speak to you better than the others?

RE: How do you say "I love you"?

<< Nerd

.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..-

(Morse Code - for LDR - circa 1880)

My grandfather was a telegraph operator for the Post Office in the early 1900's. I think he'd smile and laugh to see the tiny telephones we carry with us now and how we use text messages.

RE: Does age really matter?

A little closer to home for your next journey... sounds nice. Much of Europe is cold this time of the year.

I'm sure your children are happy you're back.

You could be right about older and younger men... I'm sure it's true for some anyways. I know I prioritize my health more now than I did when I was younger.

RE: Does age really matter?

Hi Sara -

Maturity and health matter and age is some indication of these (and is much easier to measure ).

Age range in my profile... hmm... I'd have to go look... I think it's more fun to guess. I think it's 43 to 57 (7 years younger/older)... I've heard from some in their later 30's and one or two around their 60th year.

It doesn't matter too much... just the 'maturity and health' part... and those attributes don't show very well in a profile.

I hope your travels have been going well.

RE: Another 12/12/12 blog!

I think we should just keep counting months and years as needed ... 13/13/13 is only a month and a day away!

Then there's Valentine's Day just a year, a month, and a day later on 14/14/14.

---

Numbers are just numbers. They are like adjectives, they describe other things but don't really mean much on their own.

It's nice to see you, Ed!

The Path of Least Resistence

CuddlingSoul -

You sound uncertain.

The Path of Least Resistence

Calli -

"...to look at everything without feeding it energy"

"To direct one's self into what you desire...you focus on it like a laser beam.....without attachment to outcome."

To be an impartial observer... perhaps this goes with your thoughts.

There are different ways to imagine this. To experience a place and time without being a part of it allows you to keep it outside of yourself... to not feel effects from it.

The Path of Least Resistence

Parti -

(1) liners. Yup.

The Path of Least Resistence

Hi Calli -

You'll have to let me know if I'm understanding you correctly.

Emotion tends to exaggerate events... they tend to add a critique, to add worry/concern, to emphasize how I feel over what actually occurred. They distort reality in some way.

If you can look calmly (almost passively) at events, you can have an appropriate response to them. You can learn and react in ways that might be needed without adding unnecessary burdens to your mind.

Am I on target?

The Path of Least Resistence

Hi Ted!

You have an interesting outlook on this. Thanks for adding it!

The idea of action over inaction ... that option (2) is almost like procrastination ... a means to delay a decision and at least for a time, to choose 'inaction'.

Some people look at it this way... that taking time to consider options and consequences is wasted time. Some of it probably is... but making a quick decision that has to be corrected later also wastes time and energy.

I'm trying to look at the value of time in terms of happiness. If it contributes to my long-term happiness, it's time well spent. This might mean time spent talking to a neighbor, time spent doing a crossword puzzle, ... anything that contributes positively in the long term. (it's not about treating myself to ice cream, which only brings enjoyment for a short time, without any long term positive effect ... you probably see what I mean).

Action is good ... I'm learning to appreciate the things that don't feel as productive though... the calming effect of going for a walk... things like this.

The Path of Least Resistence

DJ -

I agree there is something about maturity in this. I think we start to be bothered more by having to do something over again so are more willing to do it right the first time.

When we're young, it seems like time is unlimited. At least that there is more time available whenever we need it. As responsibilities and interests grow, we discover there is a shortage of time in our lives.

So perhaps this is just one of the adjustments this inspires.

Thank you for your thoughts!

RE: some resemblances

Teddy -

RE: Job

Hi Summer

I enjoy documentaries like this. It's really amazing how engineering and technology have made so many things possible. The shipping capacity that has developed in recent decades is amazing!

With modern weather instruments they are now able to have predictable and reliable schedules for crossing the oceans.

Amazing.

Have a nice weekend, Summer.

The Path of Least Resistence

Lazly! -

Hope you're doing well today.

This can be a deep topic. When you need to make a decision, who stops long enough to consider "should I make a quick decision or take extra time to think about it more?"?

We do what we usually do... whatever that might be.

I've been around too many people who like to complain. That's where my tendencies some from. I'm sensitive enough to be affected by their criticism so I learned to fear making mistakes. This caused me to worry about everything... no matter if it is significant or not.

This amount of worry is stressful and unhealthy (I've learned) so it's been important for me to learn this lesson... to learn where my worries come from and to "let it go".

It's a bit strange... I feel a bit careless/reckless when I make quick decisions, but I also feel relieved to be able to discard a new task quickly. I also need to ignore my impulse to wonder if my decision was a mistake... I need to let that go as well and only deal with it if an actual problem arises.

It's an adjustment for me... I'm learning.

(and it's almost 4 pm ... it'll get dark soon so I'm going out for a walk while there's still some daylight left ... )

The Path of Least Resistence

Squidley -

Our parents influence us in many ways. At some point we come to understand that they are just as flawed as we are and we realize they just did what they felt was right... for them and for us.

There is a time when we see this... and we have a chance to be better examples.

I've met some who make every decision quickly (1)... and they never see themselves as being responsible when errors occur. They seem to believe that they didn't play a role in the mistake... so they never question their approach.

Not every option (1) person is like this but the ones who don't feel any responsibility for mistakes scare me. They tend to be accident prone and a bit dangerous to be around.

It's good when we have awareness about who we are and why we behave the way we do. ... It gives us a chance to find more happiness in the future.