Richard_D Blog Comments (476)

Conversation - Why? Let's Talk

Hi Nessa -

Splendid. That's my word for today.

Hope your day has been going well.

RE: Diamond is girl's best friend

Best friends... want to send a couple over here?

I know people whom I enjoy socializing with... but most just seek to be together and 'doing something' ... telling jokes and finding reasons to laugh... this is okay... it's fun... but "best friend" is something more. I'd like to find that again...

A very pleasant Sunday (er, Monday!) to you, Kananga.

RE: From alot of the comments I've seen here in the bl

Can an unattractive woman still be feminine?

By my definition, no. (of course, you also have to apply my definition of 'attractive'... if you apply your own, my answer may no longer be valid)

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There's a sort of cultural definition ... a woman who is pretty and happy and smiles at everyone and never disagrees. She likes to wear dresses and present herself as a model of perfect hair, make-up, fashion, etc.

Many feel this is the definition they are supposed to believe in and adhere to.

This definition doesn't work for me at all ... it's a sort of falsehood based on group-think and simple logic. In my opinion, it's wrong.

A mother with her hair tied back, holding her baby and the look in her eyes... isn't that about as feminine as it gets? Well... that's the sort of image I have... one of many... for what it is to be feminine.

Being pretty but without thought or strength of character, body, opinion ... that outlook just seems very wrong in my view.

RE: No-Answer: Back to Reality

Hey, Ariel ... You're going to give away the keys to the kingdom? ... Seriously though... I look forward to reading your answers to your last blog... revealing 'the culture of you' is something I think everyone should consider.

If you believe that people are basically good (and will approach you with honorable intent), allowing them to know what helps them be a friend gives them more confidence in themselves and makes it easier for them to trust you. I believe that understanding leads to confidence and on towards trust.

Blog body to comment relationship... an effort to encourage better blogging... I like the idea. Each will still have their own style and personality... but thinking about how to engage the audience and to return the interest they've shown by writing their comment...

I'm also noting the investment of time... seeing the 10 minute gap between your last comment and mine tells me that I spent more than 10 minutes writing/correcting my comment. I believe you do the same... there is effort involved in good communication and the results need to feel like they were worth the effort.

And before I leave your blog... << for my good friend, Ariel.

RE: No-Answer: Back to Reality

I articulated? Really? ... um ... didn't mean to ... just sort of happened.

Sometimes I get your meaning (in a blog) and sometimes I think I might so just make an attempt... going ahead with my comment even though my understanding doesn't feel complete.

You've probably seen this in me a lot. I believe in speaking what I believe to be the truth in hopes that someone will clarify my understanding without misunderstanding my intent and without hostility. (I think doing this is important for learning and maturity.)

Many have trauma in their past that forces them to remain quiet... so they never ask for clarification as they believe all questions will bring a hostile response.

(a tangent that just started writing itself... it's a key part of who I am and who I seek however, so I'll leave it in.)

> Do dating sites encourage our dreams and allow us to stay away from reality?

Some use them this way. Some distract themselves in other ways. Reality can be harsh and we aren't always strong enough to face it directly. It's like our muscles though... with work, our ability to handle reality becomes stronger (and our skills improve).

How strong are your reality muscles? (perhaps it's own blog topic)

RE: No-Answer: Back to Reality

Note to bloggers:

If you watch Ariel's interaction with people on her blogs... how each response is personalized and the way she asks for thoughts to be taken a bit deeper or to be made more complete... I think this is a clear lesson on successful blog hosting.

I know I continue to learn good blogging through lessons like this.

Thank you, Ariel!

RE: No-Answer: Back to Reality

The benefit of a well-hosted blog is that the topic the blogger is interested in becomes clarified through the blogger's reply to comments.

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> When does optimism turn into foolishness?
> When should we look at our dreams and imaginings and recognize that they will never be reality?

Perhaps I'm on target now... closer to the intent of your blog.

My answer is 'balance'. Optimism and dreams play an important part in reality but will rarely (never?) 'be' reality.

My imagination and my optimism are restrained by reality during the day and less restrained at night. I also enjoy remaining in bed in the morning and allowing my imagination more time to play.

Do we take our dreams seriously and disappoint ourselves by not attempting to achieve them?

As for silly questions people ask publicly... I think the inventors of the Magic 8 Ball and perhaps some of the more serious life-predictors (Tarot Cards) picked up on the pattern of these questions when they developed their systematic way to answer them.

I would call these "attention questions" ... and their primary intent is to trigger a response. Perhaps they can all be read as "Anyone out there?".

btw... Advertising on Google is profitable... that's part of my Saturday routine... to look at cost/benefit of our internet ads for the passed week...

RE: It's a sad....

Hi Sugar

Difficult times... can't change reality... but reality just can't be right... sure doesn't feel right...

RE: No-Answer: Back to Reality

> Do we ask for the truth?
> Can we describe the truth without bias?

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Hi Ariel of Sofia,

Have you heard "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything?". That question annoys me.

Of course, if you only have something negative to say, I would suggest thinking just a little longer so you can add something less negative to it.

"Negative only" tends to stop activity... yet within an instructive (constructive) context, (don't do that... do this instead) negative comments can be useful.

Someone who always feels defeated (as your blog portrays) may be protecting themselves from disappointment but they likely aren't looking for opportunity anymore. Anyone can feel like this at times... but I think it works against any desire for happiness.

RE: Moving out and moving on.

Hi, Z

Actually ... the 'under' cloths have always been something I've taken care of for myself ... it's the 'outer' items, where colors fade and styles change and "it still fits" was the only criteria I followed ... yeah ... found myself needing to revise my outlook.

RE: Moving out and moving on.

Car = liability
House = liability

Insurance... what to get, when to get, how much to get...

And cloths ... when to say it's time to discard or donate. Old cloths used to just disappear... now I need to look at what I'm wearing and say "it's probably time".

RE: Simple happiness

What a cute story!

Your son sounds like a real "smile-bringer" .... made me smile anyways.

Thank you for sharing the story of your happy homecoming.

RE: i need a smile & a big hug please

I spent an hour tonight rehearsing with a church choir. "Come, Thou Almighty King" is an old song... and the choir, plus 2 trumpets, 2 trombones (that's my contribution ) and several people with hand bells. It really sounded nice (well... it sounded nice by the end of rehearsal ).

That's my good news for today.

For you... << Helps with staying warm.

RE: i've heard men say they can't understand woman, i

Brazillian - Just a short off-topic note... if you see this ... please send a quick "Hi" to me ... I'm blocked from writing to you and this will open the door.

Thanks!

RE: Bulgaria

Hi Ariel!

Such a depth of history... culture and ancient architecture ...

(brag all you want ... you live in a nice country ... thanks for sharing it with us!)

RE: Christian Life Program

Sinoako - It's nice to meet you!

I'm not familiar with CLP. Thank you for teaching me something about it.

The important thing that Christianity can provide is a basis for a personal belief system. I believe that we should each determine and shape our own outlook and religion can provide a good framework.

For myself, I also enjoy learning from non-religious sources about how the Bible and the beliefs of the church came together. Often religious leaders don't discuss the culture and history around the events.

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Zabaztian - Thank you for sharing your research.

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Boy67 - My experience with religious organizations has been very positive. It's unfortunate that your experiences haven't been as good. Like any organization where people are involved, there will be some problems but I'm sure the challenge you see isn't common to all religious organizations.

RE: The idiosyncrasies of man

Sometimes I talk more slowly in an effort to get the other person to be more patient. Some like to have rapid-fire conversations...

I haven't lost my voice before... your story makes me laugh though ... funny but true ... if you can't talk, people wonder how well you can hear ...

RE: People are mean.....people are rude.......

Lgs - Good news! ... I like good news.

I think bad news is simpler to report and easier to find an audience for.

Think of gossip ... simple drama of life and how entertaining it seems to be to hear about the difficulties in other people's lives.

We have 3 primary local TV stations here ... 2 of them are "if it bleeds, it leads" types ... 1 is not. I always watch the 1, the NBC affiliate, because they don't focus on or sensationalize the bad things.

For ratings, they do the best... but probably have to spend the most as positive stories require research while negative ones sort of write themselves.

A good blog... and good news... thank you for sharing it with us!

RE: google ur user name

Hi Choco!

I put in your user name + Connecting + Singles ... and one of the links was to this blog.

Most of the things on CS are public on the internet (messages are kept private) ... blog, forums and other things ... it all helps CS draw more viewers.

(Note: This adds to the number of views on some blogs.)

Personal Power

Marsh! -

I'm seeing a tone of confidence in you as well.

I know of the TV show 'Heroes' but haven't watched it.

Feeling inhibited ... by people, by obstacles, by circumstances ... and finding ways to reduce the things that hold us back... reduce their power to hold us back.

That's part of this... if you can navigate around/through obstacles... if you don't need to consider obstacles... where might you go with your life if you had this freedom?

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To have personal power/ability... and to remain humble and kind... I like the way you tie this into thoughts of the ideal partner.

The confidence you show ... it also appears that you see many opportunities available for you to explore! ... I like this outlook ... when you see many opportunities, you'll never be bored ... always things to be done ... like Frank with his ideas for experiments ... always things to learn and ways to exercise your mind and other abilities.

Personal Power

Hi Cofy!

I really like this line near the end of your comments...
"In any relationship the partners should enhance and complement each other."

It seems that you already feel confident... that you don't feel weaker or 'unequal' to others... that you don't feel too many obstacles in your life. Am I getting this right?

There's something about feeling in control of your life... that things in your small section of the world are within your influence... I would like to think that most people have this but I'm sure many don't.

Cofy - I'm glad you'd use your abilities for good! ... being ready to help when help is needed...

Thank you for adding your outlook!

RE: A Reply to the Wonderful, Happy Couple's Blog

Shay - This is the best blog ever!

Okay ... Felix and Aswina ... wonderful people who found wonderful people ... and only (a whole lot of) kilometers away!

Hope your future is a bright as the kind words you each wrote in your blog.

So very nice to know each of you! ... and Frank is right ... it would be nice to hear from you occasionally.

Congratulations on your success!

Personal Power

Chica!

Hi there, tough girl. It's so nice to see a woman's point of view on this!

(Most) men live life feeling somewhat in control... nature (hormones) promote more muscle mass so men are typically stronger than women.

A man might be in a crowd and figure he could pretty much stand up to anyone there. If it came to it... one-to-one, a typical man thinks he's at least a close or better match physically.

A woman in a crowd... is typically of smaller stature and less musculature... typically, in a crowd... they feel like nearly all the men (and some of the women) could overpower them... if it came to it... they'd be the weaker party.

This is one of the things that makes men and women quite different (in my opinion) ... we act differently because of this ... our confidence and assertiveness are different ...

I think about business ... and a woman is typically more collaborative while a man is typically more individually assertive. Some of this has to come back to this basic, instinctive difference of perspective, doesn't it?

(I just started reading your thoughts and you started right in on a good one! ... I need to go read the rest ... and check the Reno blog Stony is referring to)

Personal Power

Stony - I need to look ... don't recall "Reno" ...

Personal Power

Frank - Time to experiment... and let our imagination and creative side meet up with our logical and scientific side ... quite fun, isn't it?

Personal Power

Morgen - Yes ... time, money, following the rules... all can get in the way of our personal wishes.

Overall, life is good for me. There's enough time... enough money... enough freedom. I lead others at times and they lead me. The balance is always working itself out but I consider my life to be a fortunate one... others might agree or disagree...

How about you? Do you have the time, money, freedom you need? Are the obstacles in your path big or small? Do you feel you have a chance against them? Is your fate in your own hands?

Talking about this privately is difficult for many ... so here on a public blog ... I'm not surprised that we've been discussing other things ... that's okay though ... hopefully many are reading our thoughts and considering the topic for themselves ... whether they wish to comment or not... it's fine either way.

I'm going to get a haircut ... I'm overdue ... back soon.

Personal Power

Hey Ed - One ultimate power... yes.

I'm glad people are all different... and with the differences comes better/worse and weaker/stronger. It's not about having ultimate power ourselves... my thinking is about the power other people have over us... and what if no one did.

Thanks for adding your thoughts!

Personal Power

Frank - you really know your boats! Er, rather... planes! You like fast machines, don't you?

Biplanes are awesome... maneuverable... stable... and they photograph well too I think.

If I had the money for toys like this... I'd have to think about it... I do like boats... and they can host guests more readily... hmm... It's fun to think about... maybe someday.

Personal Power

Stony - To troubles ... Everything tastes like chicken it seems... well, at least everything 'fowl'.

(bad jokes are the privilege of the blogger, right? )

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Frank - Yesser! ... Responsibility is key... some want it, some don't... and some aren't allowed to have it, if you follow my thinking... lots and lots of sub-text in here.

Ever want to fly one of those stunt planes? ... Flips and barrel-rolls and flying upside down

Personal Power

Morgen - Aristotle and Socrates and others ... you're right! They sure all seemed to be guys.

I wonder if they just had better access to papyrus ... and a good publisher ... probably not as easy to put these things together back then ... no phone books and Google was only a dream.

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Hi Stony