Why is it that people post in their profiles what nice, good, warm hearted people they are, then they post something like this in the forums and show their true selves to be nasty and mean spirited?
I think there is always a certain level of challenge when marrying someone from another culture. If she speaks your language or your speak hers, helps a lot. I have known people who married and could barely communicate....how that works I don't get...Adapting to another culture, relocating to a strange country, all very challenging.
Actually my opinion is not based in idealism at all but in reason. If it does happen that an unstable country gains the ability to use nuclear weapons, and they even send off that weapon, for example, Iran nuking Israeal. There would be immediate retaliation and Iran would be annilated. Same goes for North Korea and South Korea. There would be no great shift in power. The only really powerful country left that has or could have nuclear power is China, which is actually not so unstable and so out of touch with reality that they would start WW3. I don't think there will be a WW3...could be wrong, but my opinion is based more on the reality of the situation than on any idealist belief that we are all getting along so much better nw.
I do think creating and maintaining a healthy relationship is difficult enough when two people are really into each other. For them to being together for less than a deep and abiding passion and love, I don't know how it can survive, at least happily. Some people stay together because it is better than being alone, they believe, or for other reasons, but not because being with that person is a joyful and loving experience. There are arranged marriages that fare quite well, if the partners work at it and develop love for one another, so not saying it can't work--but basically, you have to be on the same page.
I,personally, would not marry to move to another country, but for me, because of my profession, I can move just about anywhere I want. I believe in making your dreams come true on your own, not through someone else. So, I would never use someone else to make my dreams come true.
As well, I cannot imagine marrying anyone for anything other than love. Some people do, for money, for convenience, for other reasons maybe...sometimes just to not be alone. Do I censure someone for doing that? Well, every case is different, and frankly, unless they are obviously hurting someone, someone who is not able to take care of themselves (i.e., not able to tell they are being used), then I think it is not my business.
I know the difference between having my photo on here and not. When I did, I got a lot, lot more mail. I would prefer to have it up, but I can't. It created a problem having to do with my profession. But it is also true that those who do contact me do so mostly because they are responding to my profile and see areas of compatibility. I get very little mail now from men who only respond to a photo, who have not read my profile, and with whom I have absolutely nothing in common.
I have a very specific and genuine reason to not have a picture on this site. It has to do with my profession. I think people are quite close minded who refuse to recognize that some people have valid reasons for not posting a photo. If a man contacts me who doesn't have a photo, I don't get all pushed out of shape. If I continue a correspondence with him and he doesn't send a photo, then I have a problem. But, anyway, narrow minded, short sighted people are not my cup of tea anyway, so it weeds out those with whom I wouldn't be compatible.
LoveableOne: When I first started using internet dating sites, I had this same feeling, and it hasn't gone away, only gotten stronger. There seem to be hundreds of dating sites, and millions of people who are alone looking for someone. Of course, I realize now there are quite a few people who are scammers or who are married and looking to cheat. There are people who are just here to chat and are honest about that, not looking for a relationship. And there are a lot of people who use a dating site as only one avenue in finding a mate or a date. Still, that leaves multitudes who are lonely and seeking love. And it is sad. It is very sad. It has a lot to do with modern life...so much divorce, so many people who are not connecting socially but staying in with their television and computer, etc. It's a sad state of affairs, but you and I are part of it too!! Though I do believe I will not find the one I'm seeking online, and so I am also looking in the real world, I'm still here--mostly for the forums though. I suppose there's always the chance I'll meet him online, but I highly doubt it.
Unless you are contacting countless people without much discernment, then I cannot understand how you can forget you've contacted someone. There are people on these forums who have not contacted me who remember me from when my photo was posted, so for someone who contacted me when my photo was posts to have no memory of it...well...sorry but the 'ouch' is something he brought on himself.
I never expect or demand forgiveness. It is not, as far as I am concerned, my place to demand forgiveness from anyone--I am not judge and jury. And as I feel that way, I also don't expect it from anyone. I don't hang on to animosity, never seek revenge...just don't have that kind of energy. Moving on is what I do...One doesn't forget or forgive, in my world view, one moves on and lets things go.
Sojourner Forum Posts (472)
Applies to acquiring and accepting any kind of knowledge.
Love to travel.
Bringing up baby...
Before they had teeth?