he did say he tried but his wife wasn't .... it takes two to make it work if you need to repair a marriage...at some point, what can you do....but I agree, in general, people give up too easily...
Yes, not let's try it out and see how it works, but a definite, mutual, desire to build a life together and stay together .... thick and thin, good and bad, etc.
So you are saying it is foolish to make a mistake. I disagree. We need to allow ourselves to make mistakes.....we learn from mistakes...it is the best way of learning....if we say we are stupid or foolish to have made a genuine, innocent mistake...what does that prove or earn us? Honest? What be honest and say I'm a fool when in fact the real honesty is to say I made a mistake, I learned from it.
I think people are misinterpreting what I mean by the term madness....
Like just taking off on a fluke or something...that's what I mean.
For example, I was offered to go along with some people on a cross country road trip, on the spur of the moment, and I went. It could have turned out bad, I guess, but it didn't, and I'm glad I did it.
A bit harsh....I think it is something one has to learn by experience. If you do it one time, you are not a volunteer, you are a learner. If you do it over and over again, then you are a volunteer...You are too harsh.
Well, I don't think I'd wait around for two years, or even one, for somebody to be ready to propose....I'm thinking that the person I let myself care about is free when I first start caring--free literally and free in his heart....Wait for two years....oh no..
A long time ..... yes you are right...and some people don't recognize that ..... they are lonely and want someone to fill a void, but the person who gets involved with someone who is on the rebound sure pays the price.....
Okay, well, here's my serious take on it--from experience. I meet some guy, he seems nice, I like him, we get along. He is divorced or has ended a serious relationship within the past few months. At first, he does not say things that would suggest much bitterness or anger. People put on their best side when you are first getting to know them. So, I let myself be won over....then it turns out they are still totally messed up and it was way too soon for him to be letting someone get close, but he wanted a woman in his life and was willing to fool himself and me that he was ready. So, now I have drawn what is, I suppose, an artificial line: it has to be at least one full year after a marriage or serious relationship has ended--and I mean ended...final divorce, etc.
Do you ever think at any time it might have been better to forgive and try to repair the marriage? I ask that because you said until the infidelity happened, you had a good marriage.
Could have something to do with the model our parents presented. My parents' model wasn't a good one in a lot of ways, but they were married for about 50 years and seemed to care for each more in their later years than earlier on....after going through all the good and bad times I think, weathering the storms. So, I guess I believe in marriage. In live together relationships, I guess I just fell into them, and if I had looked at it from the beginning as something I was going to commit my life to, I would not have gotten deeply entrenched. As it was, after throwing away a few years of my life, I walked away from relationships that I knew from the beginning had no real future. It wasn't a mistake walking away, it was a mistake getting too involved in the first place.
Too true, if it isn't right, it isn't right. However, I have seen people who both 'love' each other but have a troubled marriage. They give up. I think if they rode it out, it could work because they do actually love each other. Don't know...I also think sometimes I am incredibly naive...
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RE: Marriage...whats the point???