I appreciate your kindness and wish you the same as well. It seems the next few days, especially tomorrow will have a very big factor in how this year closes. But I am trying to be optimistic and also realistic in what the outcome is.
There is very little that is not "brutal" in the loss of a loved one. I found myself in tears tonight as I drove home from across town. Ever since the loss of my Mother I try not to hold back when I am alone. In the beginning I even kept myself from going out in public because I was too easily pulled into that sad place. It may not seem realistic or make sense to many but even now I sense her presence just above me or sometimes just to the side of my eyesight, especially when I lay down to sleep, oddly enough I thought that it was a picture on the wall for a few months till I realized there was not one there (a rather comforting feeling), not a bad feeling. It is probably just my own mind processing this loss and also dealing with this alone and without anyone or family to grieve with. I sometimes go to where she is buried and kneel there for long times and just process all the memories of she and I when we would stand on that very place and prepare flowers for family that is buried there. Strangely I have fotos of her and I in that place where we would go together. On hot days she would sometimes sit resting with her back supported by my Great GrandMother's Tombstone. Her "passing" was indeed the mark of the end of a certain generation of our family that makes her death even larger in very many ways. I am hoping that though my younger siblings do not agree on her HeadStone that soon there will be a place in the Hearts of all involved that can bring a much needed closure to that site. For a man or woman to cry is natural in what I was taught. I know that this is not the case for all, but I do believe it is natural and also healthy in getting on and not leaving deep feelings to fester beneath the layers in the Soul or Mind.
If you soak them in warm water and use a lot of shaving cream a freshly sharpened "straight Edge" will very likely make you feel like a new man. Just don't slip.
It is a wonderful Quote but it is also a quote that not all people will understand in depth. these words have much more meaning than what is on the surface. maybe I will dig you up something from some literature I have had a very long time. Books! they are all but extinct for so many people on the planet. ;-}
Thanks Serena! I just remembered I have a pot of Chicken noodle soup on the Stove I was heating up with some fresh crushed Garlic cloves I added for more taste! LOL..........better go check it!
I am glad you are healthy today. I have had some eating issues but usually I believe it is from anxiety and then just not eating at all. I try to make sure I eat well though and to do as I have been directed. I know that when I have not eaten correctly it only makes things harder to deal with so I try and eat something every day.
I can think of many other ways to unwind and get comfortable but as I am alone I found myself sometimes just not doing much of anything..kind of a "low". I admit it sound strange to even write this but for the most part this last year I have lost not only my Mother but the rest of the family as well. I am not so eager to have Christmas like I did Thanksgiving all alone. Oh!, one note. Always be unemotional when doing any kind of martial art, ballet or things that involve some degree of danger. I say this because as much as these things are fun, they also demand your attention and can be dangerous If not in focus. (yes, I was a student of the Ballet for several years when I was younger) LOL..why am I digging this hole?? LOL>. but yet it is ok. I also studied a few different kinds of martial arts. My second Ballet teacher was a man. Mr. Novikov. While he taught me Ballet he also taught me a Russian style of fighting that was very different though I do not know the name. My first teacher Marcelle Renoux was one of the most lovely and strict ladies in my life at the time. It was a different world then and when she was not happy you could tell (or hear) the sound of the long stick that she used to reach out and keep you in line, breaking as she slapped the hard wooden floor with great force. Aww, I am taking this "say anything" a bit too far but what the heck..
Sounds like the type of guy you would want to stay clear of....like a good 12 meters in the other direction at least! I am glad you were not hurt. For the record, I am very careful and don't put others at danger. It is just something to do that also keeps my mind focused and like any type of "sport" or even like "darts", it is a good feeling to actually do it correctly.
Yes, it is kind of intriguing though, here is a video I was watching a few days ago. It is one of a three that she made. Quite entertaining...and informative. she is not bad at all. I know she worked or was trained (very briefly) with a pro "Jack Dagger " but she seems to be very good at it. Take a peak. ;-}
Maybe some of the guys here might want to watch out who they are flirting with after watching this one!! LOL
I didn't know trigs was a knife throwing CSer! LOL. Well she must be holding back. LOL. ( I did it a lot as a child/teen and lately I have been making a large "surface" so I don't ruin the walls to my home. It can be a lot of fun actually if you are any good at it. If not then it is frustrating but then I suppose most things are like that. (gotta go grab that ice cream!)
it might sound a bit boring but I like Vanilla. French Vanilla I think it is, this one has the little specs of the vanilla in it. And this might sound strange but I really like mine with the plain white yogurt with the live probiotics in it. "Nancy's" yogurt. So I add them together and mix it up with the spoon and love every last bit! Gonna go get me some right now as a matter a'fact.
Yes! as a matter of fact it all went well. I am very detail oriented when it comes to my work. So I usually take a little more time and cost a bit more than the rest...well, upper midrange I guess. I gotta say though she looks very beautiful no matter what you do to her hair. LOL. and yep! I kept the gloves on and as I saw your post here was slathering some nice hand cream on to make sure that the skin stays together...just have to be careful as I nicked one of my fingers while practicing my "knife throwing". Really have to start wearing the eye protection as well. It only takes one hit in the eye with even the dull side to make your day a bad one! LOL.. but all in all I am about good for playing the guitar and in a few days should be able to play my Dulcimer as well. ( it is a little more abrasive to the index finger) Thanks for reminding me "Berry"
Dragos1 Forum Posts (1,982)
"Yarbles", from the book "ClockWork Orange" (I kinda forgot it was not just ordinary slang)
RE: Have you ever seen a man cry?
I appreciate your kindness and wish you the same as well. It seems the next few days, especially tomorrow will have a very big factor in how this year closes. But I am trying to be optimistic and also realistic in what the outcome is.