Let me just add that there is a good explanation. I've just moved into this house & haven't even gotten all my finances figured out. Then a couple of weeks ago, my car decides to give me problems. I had to have it towed from work. It turned out to be the ignition switch & cost me $300!! So, on top of trying to meet all my new bills, I have this huge repair bill tacked on! That's what threw me way off. I'm not a slacker.
It's not just you hon. We all get it. If you don't want to respond, that's your choice. I don't think they all read the info, they just look at the pic.
A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona whenher car broke down.An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.The ride was uneventful, except that, every few minutes, the Indianwould let out a'Ye-e-e-e-h- a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills.When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station,yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h- a-a-a-a' and rode off.''What did you do to get that Indian so excited?' asked theservice-station attendant.'Nothing,' the woman answered.? 'I merely sat behind him on the horse,put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.''Lady,' the attendant said, 'Indians don't use saddles.'
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
Sounds great! But for me, I prefer no flowers on a first date. Makes me feel like a heel if I'm not into the guy. As it is, they usually get mad that they've spent so much money & get nowhere for it. Yes, I've had guys throw that in my face. I like just a casual place... not talking McDonalds though... & nice conversation.
And you're right.... DO NOT talk about any ex's!!!! BAD NEWS!!
A woman comes home and tells her husband, 'Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone.'
'No more headaches?' the husband asks, 'What happened?' His wife replies, 'Angie referred me to a hypnotist & he told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat, I do not have a headache I do not have a headache I do not have a headache Well, it worked! The headaches are all gone.' 'Well, that is wonderful' proclaims the husband.
His wife then says, 'You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years, why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?' Reluctantly, the husband agrees to try it.
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife an d carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.' He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, 'WOW! - that was wonderful!' The husband says, 'Don't move! I will be right back.' He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning 'OH MY GOD' she proclaims.
Her husband again says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.' With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying ..... She's not my wife She's not my wife She's not my wife' His funeral service will be held Saturday.
I know first-hand! I lived in Biloxi/Gulfport, MS when I was little. We still call it home. I always wanted to retire there, but ever since Katrina Hit the Gulf Coast, I've kinda changed the location....
The bad thing is she doesn't realize that she's becoming the laughing stock of the office! I recently found out that she was telling people that I'm such a party animal. Now the truth is finally coming out!
I have a co-worker/friend who just recently split from her second husband, in April. Since then, she's been scouring the dating sites on the internet & gone out with several of them. She went out with one a few times, they went on a weekend get-away & she slept with him. Afterward, he never bothered with her again. She couldn't understand why he left!
Recently, she's been dating a new guy. Before she even met him, she gave him her home address & had him pick her up there!! Now correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't you arrange to meet the guy in a public place first??
Now, she just had roses delivered to work by a guy she's never even met! They've just chatted on the internet! How would he have her work address unless she gave it to him??
Maybe it's just me, but she's seeming VERRRRY DESPARATE. And she's not being very careful at all!!
I want to retire in Georgia or the Carolinas. Lately, I've been falling more & more in love with the Savannah area! All that historical architecture, the beach nearby, the southern cooking, & from what I understand, there's pretty much to do there too!
We had a chance of showers & thunderstorms for today. Of course, the DOOZEY just HAD TO hit when I got to work & had to go from the car to the building!! And then, I couldn't find my umbrella. So, thank goodness I had a jacket in my back seat that I draped over my head. But my pants got SOAKED!!
sweetowen Forum Posts (8,850)
I Need a Roommate!
How's this one??