Wanna express my gratitude for the patience and willing humor you've expressed during us guys' postings. We just sorta fumble our way thru' our posts and yet you all put up with it. So far I've gotten no reports of any deaths due to us and the way we post stuff. Thanks again, TD
The odds are in my favor since women generally outnumber males 125+ to one. Therefore I, Tom Diamond consider myself an endangered species. Should I assume there's males out there who are on the run or hiding from the millions of single women that are out to corrpupt the remaining male population ? According to Dingelberry Donuts census for 2010, over half the entire male population will cease to exist by 2010 due to a severe generic male-function. I therefore wonder what will become of the other minus 50%? Will we be locked away into special museums or labs ? Any advice ? Will the best lovers be or get special treatment ? Will male parts be removed,canned, frozen and placed in special vaults? What to do ?
I dialed a number and got the following recording:
'I am not available right now, but Thank you for caring enough to call . I am making some changes in my life . Please leave a message after the Beep . If I do not return your call, You are one of the changes . ' ~~~~~ Aspire to inspire before you expire . ~~~~~ I LOVE THIS NEXT ONE! My wife and I had words, But I didn't get to use mine . ~~~~~ Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses . ~~~~~ Blessed are those who can give without remembering And take without forgetting . ~~~~~ The irony of life is that, by the time You're old enough to know your way Around, you're not going anywhere .
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think Of an answer for her first question . ~~~~~ I was always taught to respect my elders, But it keeps getting harder to find one . ~~~~~ Every morning is the dawn of a new error . ~~~~~ The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, 'Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'
Diamond123 Forum Posts (460)
That reply wasn't directd at you ginger,I goofed,,,,,,,,,,sorry,,,,,,,
God And The Harley
Harley-Davidson FactsThe inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven..
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles
have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.'
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle? '
Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'
God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'
Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?'
God said, 'Ah, yes.'
'Well,' said Arthur, 'professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention!
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust and
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!
'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.'
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours'.
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