Shaniai Poetry (6)

So I'm sad,
hurt you could say,
words flowing through my mind,
rushing, overlapping,
yet I just cant form the first sentence
cant even say the first word
to express how I feel
trying to write a poem that's happy
one that shows the fun side of me
a poem that doesn't fill my eyes with tears
but here I am crying out
just as I put the pen on the paper
why is it that sadness is my main inspiration to write?
each time a poem comes to mind
my heart is always breaking
I'm trying to give you readers a smile upon your face
a chuckle or even a laugh
when next you read another poem of mine
as easy as it sounds, it's almost impossible
for each thought comes with tears
each tear comes with a scream
So my CS readers, this is a promise I shall keep
a smile, a chuckle or even a laugh

I pulled up a chair next to her at the dinner table
while watching her pour food from a jar without a label
She neither look nor shift when I sat in my chair
At the other side of the room on the wall she kept a steady stare
not a sound escaped her lips , no sound at all
her face was dry cold as if it were made of ice
something is wrong, this cant be nice.
I'm afraid just to sit here and watch her eat
my heart was beating fast,matching the nervous shakes of my feet
Then she looked at me with a face that was determined
a face that was free
with a face in pain, a pain caused by me
then out popped a paper, a paper from her pocket
she stretched over and slipped it in my jacket
she then got up to walk but down she went with a a fall
I look not at her but to the lid of the jar
reading the word in fine print that marked death
I ran to her and heard the words she whispered with her last breath
she whispered to me "I love you"
she said she love me? that cant be true
I'm still bond to her for she signed none of the papers
then I called and cancelled the movers
I began to read the paper, the paper in my jacket
It said "you have lost the love, you have lost the love for me.
before you leave me, I rather die, so death it shall be."
with tears rolling from my eyes while eating the last in the jar, I repeat the words "death it shall be."
death is the only thing that can stop the guilt in me.

Tears streamed down my cheeks
As my mind wandered back to the day when first we spoke,
To the day when to your words my soul soar high,
Back to the day when the wall of my heart I removed,
And accepted a dream I thought had come true.

Seconds, Minutes, hours to days we talked tirelessly,
Your words consumed my heart,
While my mind worked endlessly,
trying to differentiate real from unreal,
This was too good to be true.

Then the clock stopped,
And a familiar pain engulfed my heart,
The words lessened,
Almost as if they were never there,
And my mind confirmed what was most feared.

My heart shrinked,
back behind it's walls,
Not sure if it will ever come free again,
For this pain was unlike the others,
Familiar but worse.

This time I'm positive my mind will be heard.

The journey of mankind is hard and brave
Some wouldn't believe we once lived in caves
We once stayed on the ground and looked to the sky
But now we invent planes so we can fly.
We will not give up because we have come this far
We even learnt how to use our feet less by inventing a car
We've left from making a spoon to sending a man to the moon
We started out like a seed and into a flower we bloomed
We have evolved and into everything we are involved
If there is a mystery, we have the technology to solve.

With a bigger population comes a problem with pollution
We are destroying the world and we cant find the solution
Are we so independent that we are causing our own destruction?
Why do we think we are so indestructible and so incredible
When the truth is we are mortals and we can be terrible
We have caused alot like the melting of the North Pole glaciers
We will be destroyed most likely by the rising of the ocean waters
We dont see the values of these beautiful lands
These lands was created by the father God's hands
No one didn't say we are not suppose to be intelligent
But when you are that smart you should know that nature plays a part
What are we evolving into a monster or a saver of nature?
Only time can tell just look to the future.

One day I saw you,
Dressed in your cloak of blue,
with your sparkling gold chain,
That hung beautifully on your chest like a mane,
Spun rapidly around with you when you turn to leave once more.

My eyes burnt,
About love I have finally learnt,
Not to love when you are not loved,
But I loved and I knew,
Aside in your heart I've been shoved,
I guess I was not there for sure.

My heart raced,
After your heart I've chased,
Without sleep or rest,
I thought about you and ignored community pest,
For you I waited with a heart so pure.

Although I have seen you once,
I think I've seen you at every given chance,
For you are always visible within my mind,
Always as my one of kind,
Yet it was that one day that I have seen you that have
evoked so many feelings inside of me.

It takes the will to dream,
To hope for a perfect future,
And to wish for nothing less
than the best for all humanity.

It takes the courage to begin,
To take the first step,
To start the life we've all hoped for,
And to make a foundation for the younger generation.

It takes the perseverance to continue,
To overcome all obstacles,
To keep up even when it seems impossible,
And to strive even when it seems like all hope is gone.

It takes the faith to believe,
That through God all things are possible,
That anything started with him shall be fulfilled,
It takes the faith in God to dream and to overcome
what seems utterly impossible.



Shaniai