NowIsAllUhave Poetry (47)

I'm mourning the death, of someone who's alive!
Just got up, & walked out of my life! Feelings of lonliness, pain is at its heights, Home is not the same in long & cold nights.
Food is not the same when there is no appetite,
Remembering when she was mad she was still so polite, take & light the way, this town bites!
Everywhere are signs of her, trapped inside, thoughts of the darkest!
I know how to end it but first must figure where to start this!
To depart from this, thirst to cease my mind from being mis-read.
M.O.M. my bloody buddy says as my hearts mis-lead, reach a dead-end & settle in with the darkness in his head.
A red bloody red tears, "here's my soul" is what he said.
He told me "here you have it, 'cause I want your's instead!"
"& you'll never be the same", is what he's sayin', "You'll never win her games, so why you playin'?" "You're roots of love will change,
& now your changin', to something odd & strange." "& now your praying, to a god with no face, your prayer is freying, as it travels towards space." But I'm not saving, any little trace for any little heaven, I'm gonna leave this place in a haste when I turn 24 tripple 11 with a mac 10 or 357.
Turn away, I don't want you.
Turn around now your all mine.
Turn away, 'cause I don't want to.
Turn around now & your all mine.
This back & forth in my mind is killing me,
Can't escape it for a minute it's inside of me,
Haunting my mind in the night while I try to sleep,
Closes eyes leak, Motionless moving memories,
Quiet & sad shrieks, Pain illusions in deep dreams,
Feeling overlapse to tease sight, Imagining peace,
I feel it searing my eyes! The dark overpowers the light,
While my mind tries to dream, My body softly weaps...
For how long is a dream a dream before its the same for weeks & weeks?
When do you say a dream from a nightmare? How much more can I bare?
If its realisticly always there is that not a f#ck!ng night-terror?
Terrified & deadly scared, reality is my only friend.
Broken like rejected prayer's & accepted ways people vent.
How to tell the dead your sorry, when they show to read a night time story.
Grousom sexuality of loved ones & forgotten's rot in their minds.
They are jealous of my momentum. Forced to stare at 'em.
Even with my eyes closed I see & I cry, I sigh, for the light,
come tonight to end this childs frightened dreadful flight.
I miss the innocence or arrogance in absolute love & care.
All we had together was all so rare, couple meant to pair,
Torn from us & brought to despair, smothered & gasping for air,
Could've done something but didn't with lies so unfair,
Little miss know everything now 'cause you know how to cut hair!
You don't know sh!t! Your blind, your a b!tch!
Fake little snitch! With false presumtions! A witch!
Makin' up accusations leaking rumors like piss!
20 f#ckin' 6 throwin' fits like kids! This anger has me latched to the darkest of hell's pits!

Once before savored, as I've tasted the sweets,
the heavenly fruits, my deity's cheeks,
the Angels Juice.
As it slides from my tongue, to the back of my throat,
she tightens the knot at the end of the rope.
She then covers my eyes, tells me to count out loud,
but it's a taste, I long, to spit from my mouth!

My mouth drools, the thought of no rules,
with you feminine scent, capturing cruel intent,
her skin glistens with sweat, fastening flesh,
she listens to me, dismissing my pleads,
I am hers,
to do with as she needs!

So convincing, the look in her eyes,
narcissistic, watching herself in mine,
I believe in her lies, she tells me she loves me,
staring the devil in the eyes, while she roughly rough's me,
then gently rubs me, she is the one,
enriching the ugly!

Tag my heart with graffiti,
you come f*c* me then leave me,
on the surface you're so prude,
underneath so kinky,
so dig deeply to the real you,
now sting me with your voodoo,
been thinking of something new we could do!

She says she's a teacher,
her helping hands better the world,
I have two things to teach her,
turn a woman to a girl,
at its best skin is flesh,
the burning feels great as we turn night to day,
I learned my lesson & I'm,
figuring I'll handle well this time...

''TRAP DOORS''
AUSTIN J. FRICK
AGE OF REASON IS NOW
2-2-'12.

Sick of this feeling I've been left behind.
Sick of this feeling I've wasted a good life!
Inflicted inside to feel stuck in the past,
as I think of my hatred I hysterically laugh!
Because it won't go away, feels like it just happened yesterday!
Thinking of all thats been done, everything that you'd say!
Closing my eyes, feeling my soul full of hate!
It's uh, got to go somewhere so I,
focus & concentrate!
On your jaded face, your soul I'd love to break!
You've broken who I was so I reiterate, it's time to leave this place, this torment must fade, you are selfish & fake!
I just don't feel safe, like anywhere I go I'll fall into you're trap!
It's time to pull out this knife that you put into my back!
I wish I could have pulled out,
but I can't go back, 'cause it's a weakness of mine that I don't fail to lack!
But I learn from my mistakes, it's headstrong to never repeat them!
Makes me determined to take it to the end, this heart will slowly but surly meand!
Yet my mind is scarred for life!
Feelings,
disregarded mine!
Yet memories that have only just started,
to fuel my motivations, for complete closure,
entire separation, from self detatched human beings!
Selfish & numb! HA! HA!
Some kind of being! LOL.

Don't spend your time, wondering why,
people sh!t on eachother.
One spits on one, so just know,
that's why he sh!ts on another.
Is this any sort of constant cycle,
which will bring to us any greater good?
Who'll break the mend?
To be the one who says he has,
instead of the one who probably could!

As it comes to be said & done, that's what counts,
is that you did what you want,
pursuing personal paramount!
Not just live it in your mind,
overcoming restrictions & opening your eyes.
Looking to & receiving the signs,
not to convince you,
or push you,
but help you decide!

Oooh I could start with you darling,
I have love to wrap around you,
to feed the hunger you've been starving!
I will take out your hatred!
I will take out my anger!
We will remove them together & wrap our arms to a savior!

Tighter than all time,
this may be our last visit!

Twisting my spine,
to your harmful evil that I elicit...
Stuck in supine,
hear your words slowly coming inexplicit...
You keep me confined,
'cause you think that I'll listen...
YOU! LAY! Evil to me!!!
YOU! SPRAY! & spit it to me!!!
THAT YOU! SAY! You do love me!!!
AT MY GRAVE! You dig it, you sh!t it,
& then you bury me.
DON'T IT FEEL!?
LIKE WE ARE!?
WALKIN' IN CIRCLES!?
RUNNING IN DYSFUNCTION!?
PAIN TRICKLES!
FROM LOVES DESTRUCTION!
DEVASTATING CALAMITY!
OF THAT WHICH!
WAS NOT MEANT TO BE!
NON TO SALVAGE!
POORLY ENRICHED!
A LIFE OF PROFANITY,
OBSCENITY,
& IMMORALITY!

Who is she,
that comes forth like the rising dawn?
Face full of fire,
as the beams of light,
kiss her forehead,
she seems to be inviolable,
like the rainbow gleaming amid luminous clouds,
she catches my eye,
shining out from numerous crowds.
Skin fair as the moon,
eyes bright as the sun,
voice of her angel tune,
love far from gone.
Winds whisper past her ear,
as it races by,
with arousing scents of her,
brings me a glimpse of deja vu,
a previous dream,
I had of you.
Goosebumps overpower,
feeling my throat swell,
weightless,
in an infants oblivion,
as if in this,
I was where I belonged.
With the attention of a man,
she leaves an impression of a brand,
to echo in the future,
I was doing so fine before without her,
& now for mine,
I feel euphoria,
Uxorious to her.
This butterfly stomach,
with blooming roses in the spring,
songbirds harmonic morning,
swirl well with colors of fall,
yet with senses overwhelmed,
she still tunnels,
digging in my vision...
..enticing curiosity...
...she is a mystery...
...as she leaves me like a Colorado sunset...

(Drive out the truth.
Expulsion!
Jaded sitting officials.
Expulsion!
Containment drains population.
Reality or illusion?
Money for your life.
Money for your death.
Like minded, find it.
It's time to expose them!
I put the price on my own head!)

MARHSAL LAW!
MARSHAL LAW!
I SEE A PARTIAL FLAW!
SCHEMING!
GRIM REAPING!
!THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL!
!!US!!
!!!ALL!!!
Swift isolation for the wise,
as they tug at the wool,
soft pale sponge soak,
gasoline pool,
springing double barrel,
diving board,
as I go to light my peace of mind I remember I am no more!
Am I as is or am I yet to be!?!
Well past fast bliss overlooking all to be seen!
Untouchable man, looking down, falling in greed!
I'm reaching up, mythodical scam?
Mind will forever be free!
SET YOUR GREED TO THE SIDES!
AND LIVE YOUR LIVES!!
WHILE YOU REST YOUR POWERS!!!
LET US LIVE OUR'S!!!!
What's a government without it's people?!
What are the people if they are slaves to the government!?
We do not consent to your impotence!
Our freedom's which we fight for!
The great symbol America stands for!
And no more will we ignore you're,
corrupt distructive disorder or,
fall subject to the rule of foreign power!
We established this country in the first place!
We'll fight to the last hour!!!
SET YOUR GREED TO THE SIDES!
AND LIVE YOUR LIVES!!
WHILE YOU REST YOUR POWERS!!!
LET US LIVE OUR'S!!!!
Push too long,
we'll push back & push the block!
Center of this song,
I'm the REACTION for the ways YOU ACT!
Like a domino affect,
I'M THE FORCE YOU SET IN MOTION!!!
Your in the wrong for too long,
I, expose the facts!
EXPULSION!
FOR ALL THE SH!T YOU BURY THAT THE PEOPLE DON'T GET!
IT'S ABOUT TO GET UNCOVERED & THE TRUTH WILL BE SET!
YES IT PROVES YOUR ARROGANCE TO THINK WE'LL FORGET!
EXCLUDE YOUR INNOCENCE AND YOUR SELFISH NEGLECT!
REST IN THE FLAMES OF YOU'RE SHAMES AND REGRETS!
REFLECT ON THE LIVES YOU DEFLECT AND THREAT!

I won't go!
So come to!
& repent with life unglued,
From possessions around you!
Magnafied misconceptions & mistruths!
No intentions to envision substitutions,
For substance addictions that get misused!
They put on an elaborate play,
But you must look through,
You're truly blind to their act,
Shed your ignorence,
Its take 22!
In the scene,
Where the figure,
Of a man stands behind you!
& you think to,
But with all your might can't move!

Overwhelmed with a freezing fear.

Frozen scared stiff,
Shine the light dear,
Spare a life near,
That moment in time prepared,
For a long coming to leave the despair!
Pulsing anticipation,
Can finally subside,
The day is now here!
The days have finally arrived!
I won the fight!
WAITED ALL MY LIFE!!!
& NOW I AM HERE.
I will not hide!
I will not disappear!
I will not go,
But stay in a vision so clear!
Of finally arriving where need be,
These are the days of the peirced! ! !

Days of the Peirced.
Austin J. Frick
Age of Reason Is Now
Febuary 23, 2013

Play me like your instrument,
Use me like your tool,
Your animosity is not enjoyment,
Your heart & soul can be so cruel!

You strip me of my dignity,
You rape me of my pride,
I hate you times infinity,
& I hope you f#ck!ng DIE DIE DIE!

My hope is truent,
My soul has a leak,
My faith goes absent,
As I listen to you speak!

I'm a target for your hatred,
I'm a magnet to your skin,
I'm a maggot in your mind,
& a burden deep with in!

Although I long to prosper,
I force my heart into detention,
It takes my mind to another dimension,
After putting my love for you in suspension,
Delivering me to evil,
& leading me into temptation,
Your hearts a hate factory & I'm your work station,
Your contagious touch free's me from my death deception,
I found my Age of Reason, I found my life's perceptions.

You survive at the expense of others,
Your a million little parasites,
Draining me from the inside!
Deaf to your sound, Blind to your eyes,
Tiered of your paradox & sick of your lie's,
Put my heart in a box, ship it goodbye,
Because I can't deny the breaking in my mind!
I can see everything so clearly now!
Everyone with their hidden agenda's!!!!!
You always say that you love me but how can that be when you never do the things that a friend does!?!?!?!?!?!

Haunted.
Austin J. Frick
Age of Reason
December 2008.

Although this life is short, MY LOVE FOR YOU IS FOREVER!
Let it cost what it may, the day is soon done,
I will either find a way, or simply make one!
My regret is silenced, I control what will effect me,
From nothing, nothing will come,
Attempts are crucial see?
Time away, goes by, with time that goes bye, away from this time,
I see your face is fading away in my mind, this time away from you,
Flies by, my love spent my time with question's of why?
My love quest's for realization,
It does so instinctively without hesitation,
My love has a mind of its own, my love scans for its home,
The distance you've created, with such a dark heart so conceited,
What we have what we had, who we were who we are now,
Still somehow,
The angel's hand & the devil's fist, come at us now with a vengeful wish,
My love stands strong through the changing of the season's,
This is my time, my life, my Age Of Reason,
My nightmare has become reality & this reality hard to face,
Are we capable of fixing this or is it far too late?
I'd give anything & everything demise,
To have that moment again staring in your eyes,
This winding road has got to straighten out for the tranquil silence around me turns to obnoxious shouts,
How did I find myself in this haze of self confusion?
Try to dig myself out of this maze of delusions.
I'd give anything, you know I'd give everything!
To leave this place so ugly & strange,
but I can't be found if not lost,
I can't be knocked down unless first built, can't be let down without being led on by the ways that you claimed you felt.
Did you ever give one true emotion?
As if after years I didn't deserve an explanation or the truth in the open.
The words that needed to be heard were concealed behind your guilt,
Never allowed us on the same level, you always had something to hide,
Some sort of hidden agenda, coming & going as you please,
But I'm attached to you, bringing me to my knee's, 'cause I'm in love with you, it's tragic to know I'll never feel that back!
It makes me want to go no further,
I can carry on no longer,
I LOVE YOU MOTHER,
Goodbye father...

I'm only 22 & have felt the pain of a million tortured souls!
I have felt the breaking in my mind as I have before with broken bones!!
I have felt the suffocation,
Full of shock & disgust gasping for air!
I have felt the flames from hell 'cause your heaven is unfair!
I'll promise to myself to beware of your kind.
I'll hide my wealth, secure my health & protect my mind!
My love will never sever, just stand strong to weather,
We'll always be together, with hold the pressure,
My love will be treasure, for all time under the sea,
My love...Is forever!
Indefinitely!

Love...is FOREVER.
Austin J. Frick
Age OF Reason Is Now
09-09-'09.

(crs);
Our bodies are susceptible to sickness & decay.
Your forced to run away when I know you want to stay.
Your own evil longing's temp you everyday,
They pull you down, lead you on & drag you away,
They say to go with them & in the end you'll be okay.

Get to the drug,
as the drug gets into you,
I'm an ugly bug,
rip the insect into two,
infect the love with the sick blood,
& tell me you want to be,
next to my side,
holding me tightly.
Drown to the sound of us moaning fiercely,
I pry.
Fire play.
We lay together & drift away forever...

(crs)

Watch as the sun plunges down around us,
answer the question,
don't lie,
don't fuss,
moments of truth like these hurt intensely,
internally weak with intent to speak,
formally known as a strong being,
my body is bleeding,
clenching my heart,
dreading madly...
...that you'll neglect...
...& abandon me.

I feel as if,
Your keeping track, making a list.
Your nagging & bragging makes me wanna f#ck!ng cut my wrists!
I feel as if,
No such thing exists, as an accidental lie.
Now I'm f#ck!ng pist I'm a bad, bad guy!
Fry in the guilt, of the lie which you spilt all on purpose!
I feel as if my life has become a predictable circus!
But its time I cut the stings, its time I cut myself down!
For the other times it was YOU cutting me down!
I know the pain it brings, I know you see me as your clown,
For all the times I watched you wear your smile at me broken down!
For all the times you hung me up for such stupid things,
Its time I get out of the hold you have over my strings!
A PUPPET HAS NO MIND! A PUPPET DOES WHAT ITS TOLD!
A PUPPET SIMPLY DANCES WHEN THE STRINGS ARE PULLED!
GIVE IN & GIVE OUT THIS TIME IS NOT ONE TO FOLD!
SHE'S A BEAUTIFUL DOLL OUT ON THE MARKET TO BE SOLD!
So I behold my soul for this music!
Its hard to write in the dark so the light from the fire is how I use it!
I WAS your little puppet, everyone knew you abused it!
Your life, my life, you had absolute control,
I've done & paid my toll, no more your puppet or troll,
My goals are my goals & my life is my own,
My shoulder ceased the roll, absent for your tears to roll,
Now I'll bring the fire to those in my life who have been so cold!
For all the times they hung me up for such stupid things,
Its time I get out of the hold they have on my strings!!!
A PUPPET HAS NO MIND! A PUPPET DOES WHAT ITS TOLD!
A PUPPET SIMPLY DANCES WHEN THE STRINGS ARE PULLED!
Your porcelain face! That's made with one expression!
So blank! So plain! Only there for your obsession!
A tool! A toy! I'm nothing but your possession!
It's all of your abuse that is boiling fuel for my aggression!
You can put make-up on your face, not your personality!
Lookin' in all the wrong places for some individuality!
You can get botox for your wrinkles & lasic for your eyes,
but you'll never have anything to disguise your lies!
You can stuff your bra & you can wear exotic cloths,
Know that don't mean much when everything you stand for blows!
Take on a new personality, everyday!
Dumb sh!t to me, yo that's just a fake!
Dye your hair once a month, inconsistent self-esteem!
Just 'cause you want that badly to fit into the scene?
This time I cut the strings! (darling)
This time I cut my self down! (thank you)
For all the other times it was YOU cutting me down!
I know the pain it breeds to see a clown who succeeds while your down!
This is for all those times you hung me up for such stupid f#ck!ng things!
This is the time where I cut YOU from your hold over my strings!!!
Now that a puppet has a mind, its now a puppets turn!!!
A puppet simply dances when the tables are turned!!!
A puppet now does what it wants!
A puppet think not fold! Cigar smoker...
Unlike old Pinocchio's nose in a game of poker!!!
I'm the underground full house wild card Joker.

This music comes out so thick, so naturally...
it could not be faked!
As the THC comes out of the weed, it cannot be faked!
Receive. Accept. Relieve & pass to the left.

Originality is rare, yet it's my life!
As this music is everywhere in me & my life!
It's strong as my soul for as my soul in health,
for I believe in something that is greater than myself.
However do not mistake me for religious man,
I will dream my own pretentious plan.

Study lyrics, connect with spirits, as I let them out.
Know to be proud but not too, as we cry aloud, together us two, to better get us through, the thought, the touch, the taste of you.
Engulf ourselves in vibrations of the truth!
Let the music make you weightless!
Fear not death.
Fear not the faceless.
I'll protect you wondering through forbidden places.
As the THC seeps out of the weed this music comes out of me naturally.
Like the blood that flows & pumps the pain I leave it on stage with the sweat that drains.
I bleed for, I am a slave to this music.
By far my deepest passion, it's greatly therapeutic,
it pursues my life's dedication,
as I commit to this here, my crucifixion!
I sacrifice myself, for my deepest devotion.
Take you with me, in my nuclear explosion.
Make you, with me, put your body in motion.
Don't think,
Just feel,
Your energy,
Your soul, MOVE!
GROOVE to the sound moving through you!
You let it in, so let it out, how you feel!
Feel the vibration as you make your own!
Own this time that you have left, let it be shown!
Our time is not up yet, let it be known!
Be sure to secure the moment you're in,
to be sure you don't go without.
Close your eyes...in me depend.
Now open your eyes...can you see the end?

Its Nothin'.
Age Of Reason Is Now.
Austin J. Frick
Its April 22, 2010 at 4:02 P.M.
I'm not about to come down now,
so we smoke again! ! !